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Nonprofit Radio, April 5, 2013: Talk Between The Generations

Big Nonprofit Ideas for the Other 95%

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Tony’s Guests:

Phyllis Weiss Haserot
Phyllis Weiss Haserot
Phyllis Weiss Haserot: Talk Between The Generations

Phyllis Weiss Haserot, president of Practice Development Counsel, is a consultant and coach in cross generational communications. Think 60ish boss and 25ish employee. Or 70-year-old fundraiser and 30-year-old donor. Phyllis has strategies for understanding and working across the generations.

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Durney hello and welcome to tony martignetti non-profit radio big non-profit ideas for the other ninety five percent. I’m your aptly named host. I hope you were with me last week. I would develop gastroenteritis if i heard that you had missed discover your brand. Nadia touma is a brand innovation strategist with clark vertical line mcdowell your brand goes much deeper than logo and tagline what’s the process to discover your brand strategy once you’ve found it, how do you manage it? Nadia and i discussed and content marketing scott koegler was with me he’s, our tech contributor on each month and the editor of non-profit technology news. What content should you post for consumption? And where should you put it? How do you start your content? Marketing scott and i discussed this week talk between the generations. Phyllis weiss haserot president of practice development council, is a consultant and coach in cross generational communications. Think sixty is bosh sorry, think sixty issue boss and twenty five ish employees or seventy year old fundraiser and thirty year old donor phyllis has strategies for under standing and working across the generations midway into the show at roughly thirty two minutes into it tony’s take two. The transcript for my web chat with maria sample is posted on my block. I’ll say little about that, and also reminder of how important it is for you to be registered in each state where you solicit donations. My pleasure. Now to welcome phyllis weiss haserot she’s president of practice development council she champions cross generational conversation to help non-profits and for profits, solve intergenerational challenges that can hinder productivity, employee attraction, employee retention and succession planning. Her newest project is national cross generational conversation day. Phyllis weiss haserot welcome to the studio. Oh, thank you for inviting me. Delighted to be, have you? Thanks for sharing your expertise. Is today national cross generational conversation day? No, it’s, not also. Why we why we talk of why we’re here. We should be here. We should be celebrating the day. When is the day? Well, we should celebrate every day and i booked way. We should have a cross. A cross generational conversation every day. I’m really encourage off all kinds of organizations to foster that welfare people. One’s national day. What is this project of yours? Way? Haven’t designated yet or not yet. The national day will be in twenty fourteen were expecting to do some pilots and late fall okay, so i will let you know what you mean. The date national cross generational conversation day will be in late fall of next year. No late fall of twenty thirteen, where we’re planning to do that with some pilot cites nationally, will be a year off, okay, but are you are you willing to announce the day when you two so i can mark my calendar? I don’t have the day you don’t have a day yet, okay, you’re working on it, i gotta go. I am working on it. Well, i got two people working on, okay, well, i want to mark my calendar, and i will let you know there’s, an anniversary, absolutely. Let’s just set our terms straight. So we know what that everybody is thinking about the same brackets and generations. What are the generations on? Dh? Their approximate age is okay. We have for now that are in the workplace, mostly three. But but also the traditionalists were still there and we haven’t gotten to the youngest generation yet. So starting with the oldest, we have the traditionalists. And those are people who are generally over seventy. Now. Ah, boomers are bumping up on seven seventy and to, um, late forties. And then we have the generation x which is from late forties down to about thirty four. And then from something like, you know, seventeen or eighteen to thirty three or four is what we call either generation. Why? Or millennials those of the most popular names? There are many others as well. Okay, how do we how do we choose these cut off ages? You say roughly thirty three or thirty for between gen y and gen x how did those get selected? Who to door? Who are? Well, they’re you know, they’re they’re a number of people who have just studied what’s what’s going on and there’s you know, it’s, not absolute. Ah, there are many things that will determine what generation you’re in because it’s really about what influenced you in your formative years, and i when i’m saying the formative years, i’m talking about probably high school and college ages, not not toddlers that was too inert, too young, so people have common things that they, you know, tend to be influenced by wars, economy, music, political, social, economic, cultural and influences so that there is some common things that form patterns. Do we have a name for people who are, say seventeen and under today is any kind of, ah, moniker emerging for them? They’re a couple there’s a corporate naming opportunity way we call them the goldman sachs or the facebooks or something that could be a corporate naming opportunity? Maybe, but it could they might try all right, but they’re they’re they’re a couple of things, you know, those like x and why have have said, well, the next one could be z andi have about a prime something, right? You start at the beginning, but you wouldn’t want to be just a a prime or a double primer so well, a prime would do it. It doesn’t seem like a very what else? What else is emerging on? A couple of i don’t like kensi so that’s out. I actually, like see, i have my son’s name is ain’t we like these, but i wouldn’t use it for the thing that was missing. So a couple of people are using regeneration the re the regeneration re hyphen generation. Yeah. Okay. What? What does that refer to? It refers to all the kinds of things we have to change in the world. For one thing there, you know, there were a number of things that that’s defensible released. I’m just trying to get away, you know? Yeah, i’m not sure that that that’s what i would choose, but there are some people, is that one emerging that you like or you’re you’re still open minded or what? Oh, and i think we’re we’re looking so much on the whole digital native thing, you know? And if there’s some demarcation between the general room, millennials and the and the younger ones, and i think i think we have to watch what’s happening and another thing that i that i feel strongly about accepted it complicates things is that a generation of sixteen to twenty years, it’s much too large and the older and the younger ends were halfs of the various generations are very different from each other, and so, you know, i think you have to slice and dice a lot more war more than then have these, but it just confuses people and complicates things. I certainly when i entered ah, the boomers, so i guess we’re not late forties. I didn’t feel much kinship with those who are seventy or so now, now that i’m or in the middle or a little a little closer to the middle anyway, i feel a little more kinship on both sides, but i’m at fifty one, but yeah, i i didn’t i felt that when i was like i said, when i was forty, i didn’t feel much in association with seventies, but but we were those in their seventies, but we were we were in the same group and i tried to opt out, but there’s no, nobody sent me a check off, you know? And now he was checking on my direct now response pieces there’s never a check off for opting out and, you know, opting may be for the lower the gen x, you couldn’t. You can’t do that, right. Well, i’m cross generational, and i strongly identify with boomers x and y i am actually age, wass boomer. But, yeah, i do. I really, you know, i see the world the way younger people do, and i have lots of young friends and get a lot of energy out of that lab, very allowed to socialize outside my my boomer group, right, i hope. I hope you didn’t do no, yes, of course i did, but i can think thoughts to that gen xers and generalize, think its okay, i hope you do. You can go outside, okay, very good, all right. Let’s see, so we have just, like, a minute a half or so before break. So but well, twenty time you know you’re here for the for the hour. What are what are some of the factors? Well, you mentioned economic could be wars, the digital age. Are there other things that that divide the that that are different across the groups? Um, well, i think, you know, we put those are big categories, if you say cultural, political, social, economic, but there are lots of things within each of these categories that that will divide them. And and i think also that people are so much affected by their background, where they come from and whether it’s a conservative family, a religious family or, you know, other things in the life cycle may be important factor, and that could actually could trump certainly absolutely rule what what person rocket, right and personal style, i think, personal behavioral style and some of that you’re born with and some of it is just your, um, how you respond to your environment, but very often you’ll find the people of two very different ages might get along much better than people who were peers and age, just because they have a much more similar personal behavioral stuff. We’re going to go away for a couple minutes, and when we come back, phyllis weiss haserot stays with me, and i hope that you do, too. Talking alternative radio twenty four hours a day. Are you confused about which died it’s, right for you? Are you tired of being tired? How about improving your energy strength and appearance? Hi, i’m ricky keck, holistic nutrition and wellness consultant. If you have answered yes to any of my questions, contact me now at n y integrated health dot com, or it’s, six for six to eight, five, eight five eight eight initiate change and transform your life. Are you concerned about the future of your business for career? Would you like it all to just be better? Well, the way to do that is to better communication, and the best way to do that is training from the team at improving communications. This is larry sharp, host of the ivory tower radio program and director at improving communications. Does your office need better leadership, customer service sales, or maybe better writing or speaking skills? Could they be better at dealing with confrontation conflicts, touchy subjects all are covered here at improving communications. If you’re in the new york city area, stop by one of our public classes, or get your human resource is in touch with us. The website is improving communications, dot com, that’s, improving communications, dot com, improve your professional environment, be more effective, be happier, and make more money improving communications. That’s the answer. Hey, all you crazy listeners looking to boost your business? Why not advertise on talking alternative with very reasonable rates? Interested simply email at info at talking alternative dot com welcome back to big non-profit ideas for the other ninety five percent. I’ve got lots of live listener love, olive et michigan, reston, virginia, brooklyn, new york welcome live listener love going out to all those cities and we’ve got more to come. We’ve got dublin and mullingar, ireland well, good welcome shaman china, guangzhou, china and chang ching china ni hao he’s happy to have all of you and there are many more listening. Before the show, i pulled listeners, and one of the questions i asked was do you directly supervise? Or are you directly supervised by someone who is twenty or more years from your age? So that’s roughly a generation, right twenty years is approximately b and fifty percent said yes. Fifty percent said no, so half half our listeners have to listeners who were polled our inn in a work relationship that’s at least one generation from them. And the second question i asked is if you answered yes. So now we just have half the half the group from the first question if you answered yes, do you feel communication between the two of you is often hampered by your age difference? And i said often hampered and ah, twenty five percent said yes. Fifty percent said sometimes, but not often, and the other twenty five percent said, no. So it’s, sort of a mix, right. Okay, um, we certainly wouldn’t want here. That was one hundred percent who were having trouble relating to each other often, right? It’s. Only twenty five percent. Yes, on behalf said sometimes, but not often, so maybe we can help. We can especially help those twenty five percent who are often having communication troubles. What are what are the what of the feelings that people are are experiencing when it’s ah, you know, maybe sixty year old fundraiser and a ah, a donor who’s a millennial or or gen x? What? What, what? What are the feelings across these across these people? Well, i think i think it really depends on the people and whether, you know, some of it might even be their own relationship with their own children or their parents, and if we’re looking at the boomers and generation, why, that those two generations are the closest parent child relationships that we’ve ever had in history? And so it is the debt dynamic can be very interesting about that. Ah, a lot of the younger people really have a good warm feeling for older people because they have those good relationships, but it may be and, you know, even if we’re talking about donors and fundraisers, ah lot of the younger people have different ideas about philanthropy, then then the older generations do the kind of things that they want to give to how they want to do it, wanting to be more hands on involved, not just writing checks or you know, doing it electronically, but, you know, knowing getting to know, interact in some way with the people that they are donating to, and i think that’s something that we see really growing, i’m not an expert in the philanthropy area, particularly although i have cause i, you know, so fascinated by everything generational i’ve done that, and i’ve done some speaking to corporate philanthropy people too, and do follow that you have, um, for instance, a lot of the silicon valley people who have made a lot of money now and there are are getting born in their forties, yeah, and they they’re doing their philanthropy in different ways than the generation older than you. So i guess we have to generalize to some extent we’re gonna be able to have the conversation is talking generalizations. And there a cz you identified there are factors that transcend these generalizations. Individual people, your relationships with family, you’re your own personal style. Okay, so but we have to generalize in that in that situation where it’s ah, a fundraiser who’s, you know, could be thirty years older than the then the donor is there. Is there insecurity with typically from the the fundraiser is feeling that here she is talking to somebody so much younger, and they and that younger person really has the power in this relationship. Is there the donor there? The one with the money is there in security? Feelings are, i suppose it could be, but not nearly as much as it probably is when it’s the other way around, when the younger person is asking for money from an older person or the same thing in a in a work situation, when you have a new, older boss, and i mean a younger bus and an older worker reporting to him. Okay, so let’s, look at that, then. So the older, older worker, younger boss, what the one of the feelings are, how do we work with that team to transcend those feelings? Okay. It may be that the younger boss, especially if they have no come newly to that position, maybe feeling, ah, you know, uncertain about how to how to do it and how do you manage other people and even their own age? That’s another, another issue of managing your your friends that you were, you know, just coworkers with with but with older, with other people, you know, sometimes the fear that the other person knows so much more and you knows, maybe going to be trying to take over for them and what they’re doing, like some intimidation it it could be, yeah, it could be intimidated and, you know, and it may be that that there’s absolutely no reason for that it doesn’t mean that the older person really feels that way, right? But the younger person lives might might feel based on these generalizations and stereotypes, right mean, isn’t well, not only stereotypes, but, you know, if you haven’t been doing something for a long time and somebody else has ah, may feel well, you know, they they think they know so much more so why should they listen to me? Am i going to be looked? At enough as an authority figure so that that kind of thing can happen. And i think that what we need to remember is that people have to have respect for each other and to respect experience and not think, oh, well, you’ve always done it this way, but i have a better way or i have done it, you know, and it’s been proven to work for twenty years. So why you trying to get me to do something in in a different way just to say ok? You know it’s not about you, it’s, about whether our common goals here, you know, we have some objective we’re trying to read which we’re trying to do something for a client or for the organisation or trying to serve, solve world problems and it’s not about, you know my way or your way or the highway it’s how can we best work together? How can we take what i know and do really well and what you know and you do really well and figure out what the role should be based on our skills, our knowledge, our interpersonal relationships with people, the contacts we have, whatever it is, what? We need here. And how are we going to make this work? Right? And how can we start to how can we start this conversation across these two people if there is a little tension, a little intimidation, little fear, how do you how does your work work with a team like that? Well, you know, i think facilitating dialogues within work teams, people who have to work together, um, is really something that’s so important and not being done enough, and it should be encouraged by the employers and, you know, sometimes you have to bring in coaches, and it could be i’m not just saying from somebody from the outside, but it could be somebody within the organization. I i think that sometimes with mentors and mentoring circles you can have or this employee resource groups that are that set up around some kind of affinity s o that you see a lot of those for for gender, and you see them for lbgt now you see it for racial, ethnic and, you know, that kind of thing, and we’re starting to see some of them around generational issues, too. And so if you, you know, you have these discussions, you know, whether they’re internally were, you know, coming from the outside, getting people in a non threatening way to start surfacing, how they, how they feel, what you know, what they see is their obstacles. What i’ve read about the millennials is that they like to be like to have their voices heard absolutely, i don’t know so much that they need to see that what they’re recommending, you know, he’s always carried out i mean, i don’t read that there that’s selfish, but they would liketo have input they liketo be know that they’re being heard absolutely, you know, and i think from the older and two when they’re no longer running things, they also want have have a voice, but this opportunity for everybody to have a voice is really important and for the younger ones and one of the one of my favorite names for a generation wireframe millennials, it’s generation, why? W h y for all the questions that they’re always asking and you know when when managers have come to me with, you know, what do i do about this? I mean, sometimes you know either sometimes it’s annoying, but even when it is a nice child. Five year olds kinds of why? Why is the sky blue? Why are we doing it this way? Yeah, and and we taught our kids to ask questions it’s a good thing, but sometimes it’s inconvenient, you know, you’re running off to a meeting to the bathroom, whatever, whatever it is, and there are people who actually managers sometimes feel guilty about it because they can’t on the spot. It’s fun to feel like a prop that question, i can’t answer all the questions that are being thrown at them, right? Okay, so so what one thing that i’ve suggested? Because especially the younger people like working in groups is, you know, why don’t you schedule every couple of weeks a session where anybody can come and ask their questions and get answers to them? And then people can hear what other people are asking that can learn from that they all have their opportunity for for their voice, their self expression, whatever, whatever it is, and again, they don’t expect to get everything that they’re asking for, but also they want to know what’s going on that has an impact on me and i think anybody in or place really wants to know that the more they’re more vociferous about asking exactly not keeping it inside, right? But the more transparency there is, i believe it’s so usually better for everybody. Okay, let me send some live listener love. Tio medford, new york. Middleboro, massachusetts. Bangor, maine live listener love bangor. I love bangor. Yeah. That’s. When? When? When i was an urban planner. And my first incarnation. And that was a client that remained was in urban. That was an urban durban downtown bangor. Okay, i hope it’s benefited from your work. Can you remember something? You wantto somebody’s listening from bangor? What do you what did you do? You put it. Build a park oversea a parka monument. What? What? What can you point to where we were doing? We were doing studies on downtown commercial revitalisation. And what kind of businesses should come in and and attract them? And it really was a while ago. It was like i have no idea what bangor is like. Not sure, but it was a nice being shoretz a thriving small town. Lovely. Because because of your work there, taiwan taipei tai pei has checked in ni hao. Also none. Ching china was not with us before, but none. Ching is now with us. Ni hao out to you also. We have, ah, few more way have several minutes before break, so we’re talking about openness, transparency you want these feelings to be shared in the workplace, but typically we’re not especially, i’d say boomers in traditionalists. We’re not really accustomed to sharing feelings in the workplace. So much is that is that difficult toe overcome their? They’re traditional feelings about about sharing feelings in the workplace? Yeah, i think that you probably have a better chance with the boomers and, you know, especially some of them you don’t remember when boomers came into the workplace, they were going to change the world. No, especially the older hand. I’m on the young side of rumors, so well, i was on the young side, but i’m still a little on the younger younger, so i don’t remember that so and they’re still in trouble and they were going they were going to change things. Yeah, okay, you know, and and were kissed of all kinds of things. And you know what? What are they growing? Long hair? And what is this about woodstock and and the beatles and civil rights, you know, against the vietnam war, all of those kinds of things very politically involved. Ah, so and i think that what we’re seeing also with some of them who were thinking, what am i going to do? And i either voluntarily or involuntarily leave what i’m what i’m doing now, our thinking back to the three kinds of things that they wish they had gotten an opportunity to do when they were younger, but they were encouraged by their parents who came from a much more insecure, you know, depression area, a year era. Ah, to do something that was very respectable, that they thought was a secure job, like, you know, be a doctor, a lawyer, an engineer or something like that nothing is secure anymore, and so that, you know, thinking that there’s still, you know, deep down somewhere, things that they would like to do that that would be helpful to the problems we have in the world, they could join the occupy movement on dh, some of it but but actually occupies similar really start analogous toe the the counter culture and political ah, not really revolution but turmoil and and that we saw in the sixties when the boomers were were of that a war. Of the you know, now what’s now the millennial age, so because i’m trying to compare the with the boomers were for in opposite were opposing politically and socially with what occupy that’s true accepted it and and yeah, it’s very similar, but the younger generations now have a different way of going about most of them would not be involved in protests out on the streets. Ah, they they would go about it in a different way. They tend to their political involvement tends to be different, but but they’re still very, you know, interested in doing something about cleaning up the environment. That’s a big one there, you know, some other issues just took a different form of unoccupied was more of a one of a cohesive group in a lot of different cities than than my at least my sense of what was happening in the sixties, which was much more scattered, and there wasn’t really there wasn’t really even a name to it. Now we have occupy and the and you know, you know, the tagline, the other ninety nine percent, so they even branded themselves sort of all right, we could take take another break. When we come back, tony’s take two. And then we’ll continue the conversation about cross generational conversations with phyllis weiss haserot stay with us. Co-branding think dick tooting getting ding, ding, ding ding. You’re listening to the talking alternate network duitz waiting to get in. E-giving good. Are you suffering from aches and pains? Has traditional medicine let you down? Are you tired of taking toxic medication? Then come to the double diamond wellness center and learn how our natural methods can help you to hell? Call us now at to one to seven to one eight, one eight three that’s to one to seven to one eight, one eight three or find us on the web at www dot double diamond wellness dot com. We look forward to serving you. Hi, i’m ostomel role, and i’m sloan wainwright, where the host of the new thursday morning show the music power hour. Eleven a m. We’re gonna have fun. Shine the light on all aspects of music and its limitless healing possibilities. We’re gonna invite artists to share their songs and play live will be listening and talking about great music from yesterday to today, so you’re invited to share in our musical conversation. Your ears will be delighted with the sound of music and our voices. Join austin and sloan live thursdays at eleven a. M on talking alternative dot com. You’re listening to the talking alternative network. Duitz dahna i’m leslie goldman with the us fund for unicef, and i’m casey rotter with us fun for unison. You’re listening to tony martignetti non-profit radio big non-profit ideas for the other ninety five percent. Durney what a lovely chorus that was love that time for tony’s take to roughly thirty two minutes into the hour late last month, maria simple and i hosted a live chat for the foundation center on prospect research, and that was called what’s in your donordigital see, eh? The transcript of that chat is on my block. So if you are interested in that, the block is that tony martignetti dot com and also wantto just take a moment to remind you of the importance of charity registration. It’s ah it’s, part of the practice that i do aside from the plant e-giving fund-raising consulting because not complying with the state laws in every state where you solicit donations can be a little embarrassing. I remember that chris christie was embarrassed because he created a sandy relief fund, and unfortunately, the fund was not in compliance with state laws. They’re in new jersey that sell embarrassing. Um, mary j blige was embarrassed. Sometimes i call him mary j bilge, but but i do like like most of her music, so i don’t usually call her build, but mary j blige, she has a charity and was not it was not. In compliance with st charity registration laws and that she was a little embarrassed. But lest you think that it’s only for the famous and the notable, a small connecticut police charity was embarrassed when the leader was actually find twenty two thousand dollars for failure to comply with these these laws, and it was a personal fine that was not for the charity that was for the executive director on and i’ve got a little more motivation around charity registration on my block at tony martignetti dot com. If you go there and just search the phrase charity registration, you’ll find one of the posts called charity registration matters and that one details a couple of other episodes of charity registration embarrassment that you want to avoid. And that is tony’s take two for friday, the fifth of april, the fourteenth show of this year. Let me send some more live listener love absecon, new jersey see ya, but i know everybody pronounces it abso khan, but i know that it’s absecon because i have a deep love for belmar, new jersey, which is not too far away. They’re not in the same exact vicinity, but there generally related. And, ah, i still go to belmar every summer, and i hope that bill maher and absecon have well will have recovered from the devastation of sandy. Bye bye the summertime so absecon good good wishes to you and new bern, north carolina live listener love also seoul, korea well, i love the asian thie asian listeners it just incredible. So far, it’s been taiwan, china now seoul, seoul, south korea got to send you an io haserot and we’re also thinking of you soul for some for attention very tense time we’ve seen these episodes before. I certainly don’t know anything about no very little. Well, let’s say nothing about the politics of the peninsula, but i don’t know anything more than i’m reading on our thoughts are definitely with you in in seoul and all of south korea continuing our conversation with phyllis weiss haserot she’s, the president of practice development council, which you will find at p d council dot com that’s ah, if you were going to do that fanatically, radically, that would be papa delta candy counsel. And, of course, counsel is c e o u n c l e dot com oh, and that’s where she’s the president and you can learn more about phyllis is practice there on if you want to google her her last name spelled h e a s e r o t haserot on dh thank you for pronouncing it right. You’re doesn’t just well, i suffered. What do you think i suffer with the name martignetti martin? Ellie. I find that the tease get transformed to elza latto. I get a lot of martinelli’s or martinelli martignetti martignetti they transposed the g in the end, i get o r martin getty there’s the transposition martin getti. So i have ah, have a deep and abiding respect for proper name pronunciation. Was it again? Has a rot? No, no, i know that’s not, uh, okay, so childish, so puerile, like, like i’m you know, i’m a gen y minus minus ten years. It’s terrible let’s talk about some of the some of the other advice that you might have. You know, if you’re consulting around opening up these conversations, you know, certainly talked about facilitating dialogue and having meetings where people, younger people can ask the questions what the strategies have you got for non-profits? It may be struggling. Around these issues. Well, i think that if you have, if you have something that i have met mentioned to you and we’ve talked before, who is about setting up mentoring circles, okay, i want you to describe what mentoring circles are, i think that the first phase of mentoring that we’ve seen is older people mentoring younger word that’s the typical right and done the reciprocal well, let’s say reverse mentoring on which, you know, got some attention because thie younger people tend to be better about technology than the older ones, suggesting that someone is twenty four years old has something to teach me. Is that your is that what you’re suggesting? I think less than would have been true ten years ago? I think that most of the boomers are techno tech dahna logically competent enough to do for most of the things that they need to dio, whereas, you know, you used to have people who had their secretaries assistants doing their email for them. You know which an email it’s really easy, i never understood well, why that was a difficult thing, but, buddy, i think we’re we’re coming together much more, even though you were not born with the computer and all of those things, and, you know, you can imagine a world without them. Yes, i remember, but it was yeah, i think the first thing people thought about was the tech, the gap in technology from one generation to another. And so but but there were other things as well, that the different generations could learn from each other, and the younger generations can teach older generations. I i very often ask i have ah linked in group called cross generational conversation and that’s, we want to do the things i’ve asked, and i ask when i’m doing workshops, what can you personally it’s a younger person? Ah, what do you have to offer as a mentor to an older person? And i think, you know, they need to it’s important, that they think about this for their own confidence as well, because a lot of times, people are reluctant to ask someone that they would like to mentor them because they don’t know, you know, what can they give in exchange? I want to be a taker, right? And, you know, maybe maybe that person wouldn’t particularly be interested, they’re probably pretty busy, but if they have something to gain from mentoring you, then they’re going to be much more apt to say, oh, yeah, you know, i’d love to help you. Well, let me ask you what kinds of things did you see? What kind of response did you see that young people felt they could contribute to an older mentor? You know, sometimes it could be the contacts they have, it could be the way you know, what they observe in the world. Ah, you know, even what? What’s, you know, what’s new and coming up in the market place, you know, what kind of products do you think? What kind of needs air people going tohave that that we weren’t noticing before? So they have, ah, you know, a different sense of that. They talk to different people, they might watch and and, you know, use different media, they’re getting different messages, they’re interacting with people in a different way. And so, you know, anybody who has a business or is trying to interact or rays, or whatever it might be, can get a lot of out of their perspective out of a younger person’s perspective. So you would suggest if someone seeking if someone younger is seeking a mentor, that they explain what value they could bring to the absence. So okay, let’s say, i think the first thing you want to do is whether you’re networking or you’re looking for a mentor or you’re trying to get a client. The first thing you want to do is try to offer something before you’re asking for something. You know, reciprocity is a very big thing about, you know, as as an influence principle, and if somebody gained something from you, they’re usually going toe want to as soon as they can give back, i think most people wanted yeah, i mean, we don’t want to be owing people something for one thing, and you know it and just to be nice still don’t want to do that too, but getting getting back to the mentoring. So so so? So first you have it going one way from older, younger, then you have going the opposite direction as well. Um, reciprocally, your mutually mentoring, but people are so busy now, and a lot of mentoring relationships really fail or wither away because that one person who’s supposed to be mentoring can’t find the time and has other things that might be high priority, and if you put together a circle of people of different generations, different skills experiences and all of that who can draw on each other and people can still pair off went one. But you have a whole lot of people to draw on a whole lot of people to give to, because even if you do ah, you’re lucky enough to get the time of one particular person, no one person can give all the advice that any other one person may need. I mean, everyone does not have exactly the same needs the same life that’s always been my reluctance when people ask if all mentor them. Ah it’s, i’m not sure that i can provide everything that they they’re in need of. Saand i can’t i’m certain i can so that’s always been my reluctant, so you know, sort of qualifying sale, do as much as i can for you, but with a circle you have the expertise of lots of obviously lots of people to drop and their time and so would the circle so you could set up a mentoring. Circle in a workplace you certainly can meets what? Once once a month. The way? Well, i think i went a week it’s probably more time than anyone’s going to devote to it. But if you could do it once a month that that would be very good, or even if it was every couple of months. But other people got together in the interim. A cz they needed or wanted smaller groups. Yeah. Okay. And you’ve seen these mentoring circles work? I have i think again, people have to be very committed to doing doing, you know, you have to show up. You can’t just say the first time, okay? I’m going to be there and and you don’t on a regular basis because not only what should be giving, but you won’t be getting either. Yeah. Okay. Cool mentoring circles. Um, you talked about the, uh, life cycle of ah of a person. Um, what is there? Is there? What are we have defined stages of of our lives? Is that what you meant? Um, well, yes, there are that, but a person can be ah, undergoing or experiencing the same sorts of things at a somebody very different age on the easiest example is, you know, medicamentos years, i’ll get right, okay, dumb it down. Yeah, is men can have children and a much older age than women can. So if you have, ah, father with young children in their sixties that may be experiencing and having the same concerns is somebody who’s in their thirties or twenty or twenty or twenty? If yeah, if people in their twenties air getting around to having children not as much as it used to be, but yeah, right, okay, we’re going to take another little break, and when we come back, we’ll continue. We’re going talk about veterans to you, have some special advice, can be very, very important subject, because, of course, we don’t we don’t deal with trivia here on tony martignetti non-profit rated that goes without saying, phyllis, come on, okay, and let’s, take this break in. Phyllis stays with us, and you should do. You’re listening to the talking alternative network. Schnoll are you stuck in your business or career trying to take your business to the next level, and it keeps hitting a wall? This is sam liebowitz, the conscious consultant. I will help you get to the root cause of your abundance issues and help move you forward in your life. Call me now and let’s. Create the future you dream of. Two, one, two, seven, two, one, eight, one, eight, three, that’s to one to seven to one, eight one eight three. The conscious consultant helping conscious people. Be better business people. Have you ever considered consulting a road map when you feel you need help getting to your destination when the normal path seems blocked? A little help can come in handy when choosing an alternate route. Your natal chart is a map of your potentials. It addresses relationships, finance, business, health and, above all, creativity. Current planetary cycles can either support or challenge your objectives. I’m montgomery taylor. If you would like to explore the help of a private astrological reading, please contact me at monte at monty taylor dot. Com let’s monte m o nt y at monty taylor dot com. Talking alternative radio twenty four hours a day. Durney welcome back, big non-profit ideas for the other ninety five percent, continuing with the live listener love leave massachusetts, minneapolis, minnesota and columbus, ohio. Columbus, ohio. That’s, the appreciate the capital of ohio. I think i believe that’s, capital city live with her love to all those massachusetts, minnesota and ohio. Thailand. I’ve been to thailand. I was in bangkok and i was in pata also thailand, tokyo, japan also japan, konnichi wa. And why are you? You know, we have all these asian listeners taiwan, china, japan, thailand. Now, why are you listening at att one? Almost two o’clock in the morning. It’s oh, it’s. Remarkable. I don’t know why you’re you’re night owls or but consistently, you guys are up late on. Ah, well, this is friday night. Maybe that’s. The reason, but love to have you have you? Have you all, um, veterans? Phyllis, you have some special advice around generational cross generational conversations for for vets. What the special issues first to prevent. Well, first of all, we have ah, we’ve been at war for so long. We have a whole lot of people in their twenties and thirties who are coming back and either wanting to go to school, be educated um, her to teach or to get jobs. And if you think about it, the experience of somebody in their twenties who has been in iraq or afghanistan, or something like that has to be very, very different from the people that you see on the college campuses or, you know, at at at work, if they might have been on the thirty eighth parallel in the korean peninsula, they could have twenty eight, thirty, thirty thousand troops there, right? Right? Well, many, many places, but especially when you, you know, in danger of being fired out every day and their training is they s so much more leadership training, then younger people get now and that thie stress the and, you know, and i’m talking about now, even for people who don’t have post traumatic stress and all of those kinds of things, but that that they’re they’re pretty healthy physically and mentally, even so that you know, that that would put other layers i know on all of this, but they they’re also used to so much more structure if you think about it now, young people tend to and especially you. Know if you’re in school, you go to class when you want you dress the way you want, you don’t have very strict ways of behaving and those expectations, and so i think that the veterans arm or, you know, really more like the older generations because they’ve come, they have more structured workplaces and have been, you know, enough experience, so the lot of them have been leaders and think in that way, whereas the, you know, generalized seems to need a lot of guidance and wants to know what air their expectations, where have you been, the military there very quickly, there’s the court clear, very clear? So is so they’re really not like piers in in many ways. And so is there a problem of perception that people who are older tendo lump them as being the same as people that are in their same age group? And so that those of us who are older or not fully appreciating the differences that that air across vets and non vets, i think that’s very possible, i think that’s very possible on dh way just, you know, these people have been serving our country we need to get some jobs we have dealt with, um, you know, get educated, and so often they will look to people who have had similar experiences. So if there are older veterans in your in your work place, they can be good mentors or help them get up to see speed to how things are ah, loosen up. I mean, because if you’re used to a very rigid structure and suddenly you’re in a different environment, you have to loosen up more, uh, forming these affinity groups so that they are, you know, the veterans feel like they’re not, you know, standing out on different from everybody else around them who is their age can be very helpful. They just really have to think through what it is they’re looking for, what, what their needs are. A lot of them have families more than some of the younger people, particularly in school, and so they may have totally different needs. I want i want to close with what it is that you love about the work that you’re doing. Why do you love this? What moves you about this? I i just find differences fascinating. For one thing, i get a lot. Of energy from the younger people as well as people who are older as well. I saw something just yeah, totally, totally, i mean, i think that’s, why it’s hard to you know, we’re thinking about whether the boomer is going to do they’re not going to retire for most of them and, you know, not thinking even if money was not an issue of, you know, spending their days playing golf and lying on the beach and doing the traditional things that people thought about wanting to dio so what can i do next? I i appreciate the differences, and the other thing is that i just think that it is so important that we get all the generations talking together, working together for what they do in the workplace and solving the world’s problems that we have instead of pointing fingers at each other and say, we look at the world that you’re, you know, leaving to us. Duitz phyllis weiss haserot is president of practice development council at p d council dot com. Phyllis, thanks so much for sharing your wisdom around my absolute pleasure. I’ve had a lot of fun. I’m glad most guests do some are tortured, but not not many, and i’m glad that you’re not among the tortured, and there was no jargon jail there was all such a simple conversation, no jargon, jail love that absolutely, i don’t jarden next week followship not fellowship follow-up ship alison fine is co author with beth cantor of the networked non-profit and alison has been thinking lately about opening organizational culture to allow non-profits to be more reactive to the interests and motivations of their followers while still keeping goals in sight, and alison is going to share her thoughts next week. Also, jean takagi are regular legal contributor returns. We’re all over the web. You can’t make a click without dahna testes piela still trying to say, smacking your head hard into tony martignetti non-profit radio. What i what i actually need to learn is how to say put me on your do not call list in spanish. I’ve been getting telemarketing calls in spanish and i say, put me on your do not call list and they say, no, no, no, auntie ende they don’t understand, so they’re doing an end run around the federal do not call list, so if someone could explain to me how to say put me on your do not call list in spanish. I would be grateful. Any case we’re all over social media and youtube is but one example. My channel, their israel tony martignetti is over ninety videos i’ve got craig newmark, the found of craigslist is on there with me. Seth godin is there. Rachel sklar are from huffington post is there charles rich, the founder of donors, choose dot org’s where teachers post there, their needs and donors give to those needs he’s i’ve interviewed him so that all those people and lots of other videos at riel tony martignetti dot com also some stand up comedy is there. Our creative producer is claire meyerhoff. Sam liebowitz was not our line producer today. Janice taylor was the line producer today. 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This is tony martignetti aptly named host of tony martignetti non-profit radio big non-profit ideas for the other ninety five percent technology fund-raising compliance, social media, small and medium non-profits have needs in all these areas. My guests are expert in all these areas and mohr tony martignetti non-profit radio friday’s one to two eastern on talking alternative broadcast are you fed up with talking points, rhetoric everywhere you turn left or right? Spin ideology no reality, in fact, its ideology over intellect, no more it’s time. Join me, larry shop a neo-sage tuesday nights nine to eleven easter for the ivory tower radio in the ivory tower will discuss what’s important to you society, politics, business and family. It’s provocative talk for the realist and the skeptic who want to know what’s. Really going on? What does it mean? What can be done about it? So gain special access to the ivory tower. Listen to me. Very sharp. 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