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Nonprofit Radio for September 12, 2022: Planned Giving For Eastern Donors


Vidya Moorthy: Planned Giving For Eastern Donors

Cultural and familial differences between East and West raise issues for Planned Giving fundraising. Vidya Moorthy from Clural LLC and Bassett Education India, raises our consciousness.



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[00:02:00.46] spk_0:
Hello and welcome to Tony-Martignetti non profit radio big non profit ideas for the other 95%. I’m your aptly named host of your favorite abdominal podcast. Oh, I’m glad you’re with me. I’d get slapped with a diagnosis of two targa. I’d get slapped with a diagnosis of a target to turn to 22 to turn to torta no pia, I’d get slapped with a diagnosis of tutor to know pia if I saw that you missed this week’s show planned giving for Eastern donors, cultural and familial differences between east and west raise issues for planned giving, fundraising. Vidya murthy from chloral LLC and Bassett Education India raises our consciousness on Tony’s take to scott stein’s new album. We’re sponsored by turn to communications pr and content for nonprofits. Your story is their mission turn hyphen two dot c o. And by fourth dimension technologies I. T. Infra in a box. The affordable tech solution for nonprofits. tony-dot-M.A.-slash-Pursuant four D. Just like three D. But they go one dimension deeper here is planned giving for Eastern donors. It’s a pleasure to welcome to nonprofit radio video murthy. She is founder of austin texas based chloral C L U R A L L L C and C. E. O of Bassett Education India Video is a communications specialist. D. Eye specialist and the specialist in cross cultural training, boundary crossing tactics, media relations and interpersonal communication. The company is at chloral dot C. O and you’ll find her on linkedin video. Welcome to nonprofit radio

[00:02:23.84] spk_1:
thank you so much. tony Happy to be here

[00:02:41.56] spk_0:
it’s a pleasure. Glad to have you this is a very interesting topic to me of course, because we’re talking about planned giving, but in a culture that I am not acquainted with, so I’ve got a lot of learning to do from you um before we go into the, all the cultural differences that, that I want to talk about, let’s define the eastern world for folks and for me, so I know what, what regions or what countries, you know, we’re talking about.

[00:02:58.65] spk_1:
Yeah, sure. So I think that’s a great place to start. I think when we talk about the eastern world we’re really talking everything that is east of africa and east of europe. So you’re talking the Middle East and then further on your talking china India sri lanka, um, you know all the way up until Singapore and Japan.

[00:03:21.56] spk_0:
Okay, Alright. So it is, it’s fair to lump japan and India together in our, in what we’re talking about today.

[00:03:45.44] spk_1:
Yeah. And the reason that, that I, that I think it might be okay, tony is uh, you know when you look at it at a, at a granular level is Alabama the same as California. No, not at all. But it is possible to paint all of America in broad strokes and I’m going to try to use those similar broad strokes with reference to the Eastern culture. The Eastern philosophy.

[00:03:54.61] spk_0:
Okay, okay. And Middle East as well you said

[00:03:57.19] spk_1:
yes, Middle East as well for

[00:04:03.79] spk_0:
sure. Alright, so we’ll talk in broad strokes and uh you know if I if I transgress and say something. You know if I try to draw a conclusion that’s inappropriate, you will you’ll cut me off at the knees, right?

[00:04:10.34] spk_1:
I doubt that’ll happen. But yes,

[00:04:20.02] spk_0:
now now there’s a good chance you gotta you gotta lackluster house at best, so you’ll be sure to stop me if I draw some conclusions or something that it’s just wrong. Just dead

[00:04:24.84] spk_1:

[00:04:26.63] spk_0:
please. I’m counting on you, I’m counting on you to do that. All

[00:04:29.20] spk_1:

[00:04:43.33] spk_0:
And I’ll of course I will try not to make a fool of myself as well. Alright. Uh I usually I I often I often succeeded that just often. So patriarchy, patriarchy is very important. What what do we need to know about the role of men in these cultures?

[00:05:14.22] spk_1:
Well again with reference to broad strokes, I think patriarchy is a familial structure, it’s an authority structure and it’s an organizational structure and the power of the male voice is not something that can be easily underestimated in the Eastern society. Um I think that it has a significant amount of both influence and control with reference to all kinds of decisions of all kinds of personal and professional decisions and I think particularly with respect to plan giving um I think the male voice kind of dominates those decisions in the Eastern world.

[00:05:38.57] spk_0:
Okay. Yeah, go ahead more more. I hope

[00:06:09.77] spk_1:
just one more point. I also want to kind of set the context that in several Eastern cultures. Um, the daughter in a family tony always gets married and leaves and walks into her husband’s house and her husband’s family. The Sun, however, stays back to carry on the family legacy and the family name and oftentimes his wife moves in with him and his parents. Business decisions, personal decisions are all just continued therefore from father to son and generation to generation. So a patriarch passes on his power and control to his son and

[00:06:26.21] spk_0:

[00:06:26.68] spk_1:
it or not, that kind of dictates the preference for the male child within the eastern family

[00:06:33.45] spk_0:
unit. Now everything we’re talking about today is this likely to be, uh, to be continued in folks who have immigrated to the US.

[00:07:32.00] spk_1:
Uh, I think the Western lifestyle is so powerful that it does seep through the walls of homes and it does tend to influence, um, and bring upon Western influences into Eastern homes. Um, I think basically the responsibility and the close knit structure of the family does stay together, but, but our immigrants families, you know, living together with their sons and daughters in law in multigenerational homes as is very common in the East. I doubt it. I doubt it because that’s where work takes folks right. I mean, my son might work in in, in California and, and therefore he cannot continue to live with me. And, and so I don’t see that system being perpetuated in immigrant families when they exist in, in, in Western worlds, but certainly the emotion is there certainly the sense of responsibility and the closer knit family structure is very much intact

[00:08:03.15] spk_0:
and, and still male dominated, you, you believe, but still, so patriarch quickly organized, not, not physically organized around patriarchy with, with the, with the wife of the sun moving in, not physically located, but, but the, the concept still prevailing. You think,

[00:08:31.24] spk_1:
oh absolutely, I think it does prevail. And I think that while I say that I must use a word of caution as well because just as with every generational difference, you know, even in America, even amongst families here, there’s a significant amount of difference in the last two generations. So I think we need to allow for that. Um, and, and, and know that, you know, there are going to be some families which kind of morph into more Western structures, but essentially at the core of it, the patriarchal voice is a very important, controlling, influencing voice.

[00:09:15.89] spk_0:
It sounds like the lesson is, you know, no, no, your donor and know know their family, you know, so we can, we were here raising awareness of what might exist in a, in a, in an immigrant family from, from the east, um, or might not. So, you know, for, for fundraisers, you know, we can raise your consciousness, you need to be aware of what the, what the dynamics are in a, in a donor and donor family that that your your you might be talking to.

[00:09:20.79] spk_1:
Oh absolutely. And I think that once you understand the nuances of the donor family and and whose voice is perhaps the loudest and what their key motivators are for any kind of giving. I think then you are on the verge of being able to design an effective approach strategy

[00:10:08.64] spk_0:
of course, write what moves them uh you know, programmatic program wise of course. But just in terms of, you know, where the decision making is, you might be talking to a female donor who might actually be, you know, uh in a in a marriage where the husband makes the decisions around finance as you were saying or you might not or it might it might be that the western culture is more seeped in in that family. So that’s what I’m saying. You know, you want to know the dynamics of the family you’re you’re working with.

[00:10:14.80] spk_1:
Oh, absolutely.

[00:10:16.20] spk_0:

[00:10:17.11] spk_1:
And while you know, insight into that might be difficult. My my tip would be to pick up on a lot of nonverbal cues and kind of read between the lines when you’re interacting with these families. You know, sometimes

[00:10:32.24] spk_0:
that’s that’s juicy. Okay, what are some nonverbal clues, clues,

[00:11:19.45] spk_1:
clues for example, you know, you approach the home of the donor, you set up a meeting and whether they see you in the office or you see them in their home, Um, you’ll get and pick up a lot of cues in it. So for example, sometimes the wives may or may not even join the conversation and, and then you know, instantly that you know who, whose voice kind of dominates. Sometimes you might notice that as you walk into their office, you don’t see their wife’s office right next to his, you know, so you know, that perhaps she’s not engaged in that same line of work or you know, the responses seem seem to bear a certain unilateral authority rather than saying, Hey, I love talking with you, Let me talk to my wife and I’ll get back. He might, let’s say, you know, yeah, let’s do it done. And he’ll sign up right then and there or say no right then and there. So so you can kind of pick up and even when you’re talking to the wife, she might, you know, say this sounds great. It’s a very important, cause I suggest you talk to my husband, I’m traveling. I’m not even gonna be in town, but you can take it up with him. You know, and then you know that she’s probably not part of the routine decision making engine of the family.

[00:13:47.56] spk_0:
It’s time for a break turn to communications. I saw on linkedin, somebody defined crisis communications as applying to anything that’s out of the ordinary, not necessarily something bad just outside the day to day routine. And she used the example of dignitaries visiting her non profit obviously delightful, wonderful, great opportunity. Um, I can see, you know that sort of definition, but uh, because because it requires a crisis level response, even though it’s terrific, you wanna make sure, you know, you get the word out broadly leading up to it and, and during the event and after the event and you want to have that messaging being consistent and on brand and of course you have to manage the event itself. Um, you wanna tie in your own dignitaries, like your board and your major donors, major volunteers, Right folks that are your, your insiders. So, uh, maybe call it a positive crisis. You could think of it as as that. And another example might be a major anniversary, could be a positive crisis. So like your 20th or your 50th, this is all to say. That turn to, can help you with communications for these positive crises, great things that are happening that are way out of the ordinary. They can help you out with the messaging around all that because your story is their mission turn hyphen two dot c o Now back to planned giving for Eastern donors. You mentioned business to, uh, the, the, uh, I think you’re referring to the sun taking on the business of the of the father. Can you say a little more about that, that prevalence.

[00:14:46.12] spk_1:
Well, a lot of the times with reference, I think to to indian immigrant families and to Eastern immigrant families here in the United States, um, I would say that the fathers who moved here, let’s say in the eighties or in the nineties, you know, they worked tremendously hard tony to set up these businesses. Right. And, and that’s how they build better futures for themselves and their families. And so chances are that a significant portion of their Children are looking at taking over these organizations that their parents have created and along with inheriting not just the business, they tend to inherit the culture and the organizational philosophy that their parents intended when they started the organization. Right. So, so they take it upon themselves as a matter of, of responsibility to continue to toe that line and and to be able to make sure that they are indeed perpetuating what their parents most likely their fathers intended.

[00:15:02.34] spk_0:
Okay, so, so there is a responsibility across the generations,

[00:15:07.23] spk_1:

[00:15:09.38] spk_0:
doubt. Okay,

[00:15:10.08] spk_1:
no doubt.

[00:15:10.87] spk_0:
And that applies to daughters as well. You said, you said Children,

[00:15:25.02] spk_1:
of course, of course there’s numerous instances of, of super intelligent, empowered women that have done magic with what their fathers or mothers have created. And and that’s really heartening to see. And in fact, I know of several stories like that and those are the encouraging ones that, that I think a lot of other upcoming entrepreneurs and business women look up to as examples.

[00:15:49.28] spk_0:
You you mentioned when we were talking alone something about, you know synchronizing generational giving what what what what what’s what’s this about?

[00:16:58.46] spk_1:
So with reference to synchronization I think when Eastern families raise their kids um they are caught in a duality of their original cultures and also wanting to adopt, adapt and fit into the Western cultures. So every household kind of creates a marriage between the Eastern and the western world’s and picks values that they really try to instill and pass on into their sons and their daughters. They try to set boundaries on you know when they’re really young, you know saying this is what is acceptable to us or this is not acceptable to to us and they define and pick and choose which Western values can permeate through their walls into their homes and by doing so they try to sync up with their kids on their own values, what they believe in their approach towards money, their approach towards giving towards contribution to society. Um and and values that that they all follow in their personal lives as well in terms of whom you marry, how you spend money, how you communicate with those around you and maintain a social circle along with all of these. I think for sure you know the sense of giving back is also communicated and synchronized generation to generation.

[00:17:27.71] spk_0:
What can you generalize about thinking around supporting charitable work. You know I mean you know in a lot of other countries that doesn’t even exist very much, but but here in the U. S. You know, what what can you what can you generalize about support to to charity?

[00:20:25.88] spk_1:
What can I generalize? That’s such an interesting question, tony because uh you know, and this is in the Eastern world, in the Eastern world. If I were to draw generalizations, not here in the United States, but in the Eastern world, I would think that there are broadly three primary factors that drive planned giving in the Eastern world. It could be won a very heartfelt feeling for the cause itself. You know, you have you have philanthropists of of various economic capabilities who are trying to do their part towards the cost that they feel passionately about? And that’s the human drive, right? So, so that’s common for everybody across the planet. If you can you believe in a cause the humanness and you calls out to you and you give um in the Eastern world, a lot of plan giving is out of political pressure and and you do have to wade through through a lot of murky areas in order to navigate. I think those regions, because a lot of plan giving is very political in the Eastern world and and instead of a direct contribution to a political leader, he might say, hey, you know, can you build this park in this constituency or can be create a center of art in this constituency from from his constituency. So it’s it’s very politically driven. And third, I think is certainly the social status that comes with being known as a donor for a visible cause. And the social status in the Eastern world earns you so much in terms of almost a demigod kind of a status if you are that visible and if your donation is that visible. And I think in terms of generalizations, if I were to take these three and try to see if I can paint the Western donors from Eastern heritage in this same light, is it possible? I would say that only two of them are probably more applicable. A small percentage of them, I think would do it for uh, for political, the reason is a very small percentage, but broadly either they do it because they believe in the cause and they feel like it’s their turn to give back because they’ve crossed continents, rebuild their lives and, and now they feel almost a sense of social responsibility to give back. And also the second part that motivates them would be certainly the visibility in society to be seen as an immigrant who is successful up to the point where they’re being noticed for their philanthropic efforts. And, and guess that’s where, you know, the curve of life would take most immigrants to be in a position of visible donor to be respected for it to be acknowledged for it

[00:20:49.91] spk_0:
very interesting. So, you know, lessons for us in in stewardship and and public acknowledgement of the public acknowledgement as a part of stewardship so that the person feels this and and enjoys this elevated social status.

[00:21:33.08] spk_1:
Absolutely. And I think you know, when, when you approach donors, you know, if you can um, if you can give them incentives for increased visibility. So if you say, hey, you know, we’ll interview you and we’ll put a link on our website or there’s a plaque with your name on it or you know, we will have this section dedicated to you and and your name and picture will be visible here or we will announce this donation in this forum, whatever you can do or if there is a kind of a yearbook, almost that that you can include them in and their name and photograph or an interview with them that talks about, you know why they are giving to this cause and what their drivers were and make it a very personalized story that they can tell through you to the world. Um, I think all of them would be excellent motivators for them to give

[00:22:00.48] spk_0:
you even mentioned the word demigod in in in their own culture, being seen as a, as a demigod.

[00:22:10.21] spk_1:
Oh yes, and that’s a very interesting phenomenon and I think that’s very

[00:22:14.15] spk_0:
specific to the eastern

[00:22:15.46] spk_1:

[00:22:16.54] spk_0:

[00:23:00.36] spk_1:
because you know organizations, the larger ones, especially if you take you know the non Gardena House of business or the even bigger Ambani House of business back in India, you know, they actually have a day called Founder’s Day during which all the employees in the organization, literally thousands of them, they celebrate, you know, the founder’s birthday and there is a large photograph and their garlands around it and people bow and their flowers and they recognize his, his contribution not just in founding the organization but recognizing his philanthropic efforts. Um, sometimes, you know, they would go as far as not even wear slippers or shoes right Up to the photograph, just like you would in a, in a temple, you know, and that’s why I call it the demigod status and, and it’s not artificial, it’s not a put on, they really feel it from their heart. They feel like they owe their sustenance to this individual who started this organization 50 years ago or 80 years ago.

[00:26:34.48] spk_0:
It’s time for a break. 4th dimension technologies, technology is an investment. You’re investing in staff productivity because you know how unproductive folks can be when, uh, technology is not doing what it’s supposed to do. You’re investing in security obviously, um, donor relationships because you’re preserving, giving histories and actions, people’s preferences, their own personal info, uh, their attendance at events. Um, you’re investing in your organization’s sustainability. So I hope you see tech as an investment and not an expense and 4D can help you invest wisely see how it all fits together, help you make your tech investment decisions doing it smartly you can check them out on the listener landing page for help with your tech investing at tony dot M A slash four D. Just like three D. But they go one dimension deeper. It’s time for Tony’s take two scott. Stein has a new album, I love it. You know, scott of course, he’s the composer of cheap red wine, the show’s theme song, it opens and closes every single show. You know it, his new album is uphill. I’ve been listening and uh hoping that you will listen. I’m suggesting giving him giving him a listen for the new album, my favorite song is the last one on the album. So even though he calls the album Uphill, he ends with the song, It’s a good life, which is the one that he premiered on the 600 show. Uh and I love his lyrics like don’t just stick to what, you know, let it fly and watch it go. Of course I’m not gonna bother trying to sing. Uh you’ll be grateful, you are grateful. Trust me. Another one that I love also from that song uh from it’s a it’s a Good Life no matter how you sing your song, there’s always someone singing along. So you know, I love scott. Um I’ve been using his song for many, many years. Um I’m enjoying his new album. Uphill. You can sample every song on the album if you go to scott stein music dot com. So I’m asking you please give give scott a listen at Scott Stein music dot com for his brand new album. Uphill, That is Tony’s take two. We’ve got boo koo but loads more time for planned giving for Eastern donors with Vidya murthy. Let’s talk about the one, something very concrete. The beliefs around the word death, death is is not not a good word.

[00:28:32.38] spk_1:
Yeah, I think, you know, if you spoke to anybody tony in the, in the Eastern world, um, generally Eastern philosophy, I think it lends itself to the fact that words are very powerful and uh, you know, most spirituality or different kinds of religions, I think they focus on energy and consciousness as opposed to a book or as opposed to uh rules of commandments, right? That’s what most easter religions are built on. So this is not just with reference to Hinduism, but it extends to buddhism or taoism or organism where they believe in the power of words. So, you they also believe then that what you talk about manifests in life. So what you don’t want to be doing certainly is approaching a person and saying, okay, so after your death, how can we ensure that the system of giving continues because that’s just too direct for them and it’s too much in your face. And it’s not something that I think people like to discuss openly as factual as it might be, as certain as it might be, they’re very watchful with, With using words in that context. So when you approach, I think a donor from the east, you really clearly want to stay away from using those kinds of words which talk about, you know, the term in al itty of life you want to really talk about, you know, how can we, how can we ensure that that what you’re doing continues for the next 80 years? That’s probably a better way to say it. And it’s just a choice of words.

[00:29:41.11] spk_0:
Right, Okay. And that’s very consistent with what I teach folks about talking about planned giving, which is that it is not a death conversation, although the word death may work its way in, you know, someone, uh, someone from the West may very well say, well, you know, I’ve already got my, my plans for my death, you know, laid out or you know, they may bring the word up. Um, but your, your point is that, you know, dealing with someone from the East you don’t want to. Um, and again, that’s consistent with what I teach, which is that planned giving is the, the, the life of the nonprofit, the sustainability of the nonprofits work and mission and values for decades and generations to come. And listeners may have heard me use that exact phrase decades and generations. Um, so, you know, you’re not talking about the person’s death, you’re talking about the life of the nonprofit, the survivability of the nonprofit. Okay. But interesting about just the word, you know, or around. Yeah, the words death dying, uh, you know, they should be avoided, which they don’t really belong in a plane giving conversation to begin with unless the donor brings it up.

[00:30:28.20] spk_1:
Sure, sure. Um, I just like to, you know, throw light on two different aspects and maybe this is an appropriate time. tony is, I think when you are trying to, um, talk to and attract donors, um, one, I think the western way of doing business is very transactional as opposed to the relational way of doing business in the Eastern world. And I think kind of softening the edges is, is a great place to start. So you know, when you, when you talk to a potential donor, maybe you can engage in some conversation about their family. Maybe you can engage in some conversation, you can ask questions about, about what their kids are doing and try to paint and present the picture that you’re not just doing this as a transaction between a donor and your organization, but rather this is a family that’s committing because they believe in the cause and position it based on the relationship that you seek to develop with the

[00:31:36.30] spk_0:
family. Yeah, I mean, these conversations are never the first time you’ve met the person, You know, these, these conversations take place over time. You’re talking to folks who are already committed and loyal to the organization. They’ve demonstrated that commitment and loyalty through their giving history and you know, it’s, it’s really, of course, as you’re saying, it’s, it’s relational, it develops over time to, to the point where you believe, you know, it’s a good, it’s a good time, the right time for an individual donor or family to raise the idea of a gift in their, in their long term plans. Yeah.

[00:31:40.20] spk_1:
And I think you’re right in terms of just warming up to it and then adding that personal touch. And because sometimes I think the western way of doing business, you minimize references to a person’s personal life. And I guess what I’m suggesting is talk about that personal life more.

[00:32:01.34] spk_0:
Yeah. Okay. Getting to know the person, getting to know their family

[00:32:06.35] spk_1:

[00:32:06.49] spk_0:
that and that is going to happen over over time. Right?

[00:32:09.14] spk_1:
Yes. Over time. Of course.

[00:32:11.90] spk_0:
Um, what else would you, what would you like to talk about around this?

[00:32:29.76] spk_1:
Oh, yeah, sure. So I think, um, you know, I’d like to go a little bit into detail now, tony If it’s okay with you to talk about the different kinds of family structures that exist. And, and uh, would you think that that’s an okay thing to talk about at this point,

[00:32:34.89] spk_0:
please? I opened the door. Yeah, I’m not going to say no. Now, I just, I just opened the door for you.

[00:34:56.44] spk_1:
Fantastic. Fantastic. So when I was researching this, I was very intrigued by this. and because I don’t think that immigrant families here who have lived in the US for generations, um are all homogeneous in their structure. And I went into a little bit more detail into finding out how our families organized here. And, and this is not my own research. It was something that was put out by Merrill private wealth. And they classify families as as essentially five different types of families. And the first type are individualists, families which are a lot of Western families as well. Nuclear units that that function mostly in isolation. Um then you have connected families and connected families. Um they’re very much nuclear units, but they stay in touch, They might meet once or twice a year. Um they might touch base once every few weeks. And those are again very similar, I think, to many families here in the Western world, then you have the third kind of families which are called tribal families. And tribal families tend to stay more connected. Um and they tend to know what’s happening in, in their daily lives, you know, so they might touch base certainly once a week and say, hey, what’s going on? And and even distant relatives stay in touch in the tribal family setup. Um then you have economic families and economic families. Um They own assets together. They might have a joint source of income and and family economics I think makes them one larger common unit and and the fifth kind of family is an integrated family where, you know, it combines the tribal and economic structures. They’re super close. Um, and mostly patriarchal and they have the money flow tied into decision making tied into raising kids, raising multiple generations and they all live under the same roof. And I think when you identify very clearly what kind of family structure a potential donor, um, lives in, it might be very helpful to you and, and critical input to you as you devise your strategy for approaching the donor. And so you could align

[00:35:22.53] spk_0:
it. Are we most likely to see folks from the Eastern cultures that we’re talking about being aligned in sort of the last one? The economic type family structure.

[00:35:51.83] spk_1:
Yeah, they’re mostly either tribal families, economic families or integrated families. And you will find that for example, if there’s a family of positions, um, you know, which is very common from the Eastern world, you’ll find that, that, you know, certainly they, our tribal families, they stay in touch, they talk about money and business, they might own assets to grow together. If they’re three brothers, you know, they make joint investments, um, they even make sure they support their nieces and nephews, not just their own Children. And so when you approach these families, then it might help to have a broader strategy of visibility, not just for the person you’re directly engaging with, but for their brothers or sisters as well.

[00:36:27.90] spk_0:
There are times of day that are better to talk about long term planning and finances than other times of the day in the cultures we’re talking about. Can you flush that out please?

[00:37:42.29] spk_1:
Yes, that’s an interesting concept and and if I may, you know this is a kind of a personal story, tony is when we were, when we used to live in in India and it was a multigenerational home. We had four generations in the same house, but the elders in the family would often discourage us from having either banking counselors or insurance counselors in our homes during the evening hours after 5 30 to at least 7 30 or eight p.m. And the belief was that that that is a pious time of the day when when all goodness walks into your home and it’s probably not the best time to be sitting and having a discussion on insurance or giving or what happens after you die. So they would actually shoo away invest insurance agents who would knock after 55 30 now. No, no fault of the insurance agent. You know, they’re just too trying to come by your place because it’s after work hours and they think that that might be a time that’s good for you to talk to them because you’re done with your work. So my suggestion is probably just during business hours is always the best to talk about um you know, plan giving, especially if you’re discussing, you know, what’s going to happen with generations to come with reference to the

[00:38:10.44] spk_0:

[00:38:11.81] spk_1:
Yeah. And it’s nobody wants to sit in most eastern worlds talk about unpleasant things between five and 7 in the evening.

[00:38:19.82] spk_0:

[00:38:20.87] spk_1:

[00:38:21.65] spk_0:
Planned giving is not unpleasant, but of

[00:38:24.23] spk_1:
course it’s not. Of course it’s not. But God forbid, you know the word debt. But

[00:38:56.51] spk_0:
we are we are talking about money and finance and and you, you know, you might be talking about rates of income from charitable gift annuities or you might be talking about a gift from a life insurance policy. Again, this goes back to know your donor. No, the family, but we’re raising consciousness here about what you might, what you might, uh, what you might face. So be aware, be aware you have something called the, uh, answering the call of Oneness from humanity. It sounds very aspirational. What is that?

[00:40:25.15] spk_1:
The Eastern world is a very trying world tony in many places. There’s a lot more competition for someone I think, who has not seen what the race for survival is. It can be very humbling and answering the call to to human Good, I think is something that strikes at the very heart of many donors of Eastern origin. And while they live work and play in the Western world, I think many donors are more inclined to give to a human cause that contributes, let’s say to to Children or to senior citizens amongst us or to those with physical challenges or mental challenges, something that improves humans and families and gives them access to better education, better futures generally. Again, broad strokes, they tend to connect more with these causes as opposed to causes that let’s say, promote art or, you know, if or promote, let’s say automobiles or promote music, even sometimes, you know, because they more relate and many a time they are witnesses to two stories of struggle and, and success within their own families. They know how little their fathers came from or how little their grandparents had and what helped them. So they look at plan giving as a way to give back and which is why I think human causes, um, attract them more

[00:40:53.72] spk_0:

[00:40:54.38] spk_1:
they’ve seen poverty and helplessness most of the time from a whole another level than, than what is visible here in the west.

[00:41:07.11] spk_0:

[00:41:17.84] spk_1:
so I think I’m talking about what causes appeal to them more and the reason that it appeals to them. Yeah.

[00:41:20.00] spk_0:
Um, what else would you, what would you like to make folks aware of? We haven’t talked about yet.

[00:42:40.31] spk_1:
Um, well, as as I think we continue this discussion, I would, I would like to focus on some strategies that I think would be effective when you’re reaching out. Right. Um, I think, you know, to, it kind of touches upon some of the things that we’ve already spoken about. tony But um, one, I think the human angle is something that you should certainly reach out up front point number two Is the social status that comes with giving and three be sure you talk about generational impact or the impact on the broader family structure, not just on the donor himself, but with the 34, 10 people that encompass his immediate family, which might mean his brother, her sister, her aunt, just a few more people apart from just that one individual. And when you talk about generational impact, the human angle social status, um, I think then, and you’re sensitive about, you know, who’s making these decisions and who’s calling the shots. I think you’re really onto something in terms of being able to make them want to give to your cause?

[00:43:13.58] spk_0:
Let’s flush out that generational impact because that, that sounds like something that may be a stretch or maybe I’m just not conceiving of it correctly. So how can we, if we’re talking about a long term gift, a planned gift with someone. Um, I mean there are, there are planned giving methods that can include other people like charitable gift annuities and charitable trusts. There could be value for other family members that way beyond the donor. Um, is that, is that the kind of thing, you know, you’re talking about, are you referring to financial impact for siblings and, and other generations or are you talking about something broader than than a financial benefit,

[00:43:58.89] spk_1:
certainly broader than a financial benefit. tony I think what I’m, what I mean is if you’re looking at a charitable trust that composes the whole, the broader family unit, which is very common in Eastern families. And I suspect in the Western as well, obviously just because of its of the benefits of the financial benefits of having one, you are talking about not just the monetary component and the benefits through generations, but the val Values that you’re able to pass on from generation to generation and what you want your family to be remembered by what you want, your son to grow up and stand for or your daughter to say, Hey, you know, my mom did this 20 years ago and now I want to do it for the same organization and feel a sense of connectedness and pride. So you’re passing on the emotion, you’re passing on the value and you’re passing on the monetary commitment and the benefit.

[00:44:32.18] spk_0:
All right. All helpful. Okay. Um, what do you think should we, should we wrap it up there or something else? Is there anything pounding like, why didn’t he ask me this question? Anything else? Um, not

[00:45:24.17] spk_1:
that not that anything comes to, comes to my mind, but I think that, um, you know, just being sensitive to, uh, to the cultural impediments of fear, complexity and inconsistency. Um, in terms of, especially when you’re reaching out to, to first time donors. Um, I think that a lot of immigrants might be first time donors and they might need a certain kind of education to, to say, hey, you know, we would be honored. This is, uh, this is the main purpose and this is the higher calling. And if you’re able to walk them through that, then I think it makes, it, it’s simpler for them. It breaks down the complexity and it removes the fear of having never done this before. And like you rightly said, everything doesn’t have to be in the hundreds of thousands of dollars. It could start small. And, and so if you give them the different options and the different that it’s not, you know, an arm and a leg to begin with. I think that is something that will mitigate the fear as well.

[00:46:48.25] spk_0:
And again, planned giving is never gonna be the first gift that you’ve asked someone to give. You may start them, you know, you’ll, you’ll, they need to be committed already to the organization before you’re opening the door to a planned giving conversation. So very well, you know, as you said, you know, we might be introducing them with $100 gift or $1000 gift. And that may be years before we get to a planned giving conversation. But the relationship has to be built and I, I thank you for raising our consciousness teaching me, uh, about some of the Eastern sensitivities around around a conversation that ultimately leads to plan giving or might be talking about planned giving now because the person already is a committed loyal donor, but now you’re talking about the next level of giving and uh, we need to be sensitive to the Eastern Eastern cultures, Eastern beliefs structures. So thank you. Thank you.

[00:47:17.77] spk_1:
Thank you. I hope that, you know, the listeners do get a couple of tips that might help them approach donors of eastern descent and also follow some broader strategies. But at the end of the day, tony as a multicultural specialist. Especially, um, I think what hits me most is that people are more similar than we are different. You know, it’s, it’s just a slight nuances that vary, but in a, in a broader sense, I think what we all strive for what we all want. Our motivators are, are shockingly alike.

[00:47:31.58] spk_0:
Video murthy, founder of Austin texas based chloral LLC at chloral c l U R A L dot c o. And you’ll, uh, you can connect with video on linkedin video. Thank you very much delighted.

[00:47:46.40] spk_1:
Thank you so much tony It’s been a pleasure

[00:49:03.65] spk_0:
next week. The tech that comes next. That’s the new book from AMY sample ward and a few a Bruce. They’ll both be with us if you missed any part of this week’s show, I beseech you find it at tony-martignetti dot com. We’re sponsored by turn to communications pr and content for nonprofits. Your story is their mission turn hyphen two dot c o and by fourth dimension technologies i. Tion for in a box. The affordable tech solution for nonprofits. tony-dot-M.A.-slash-Pursuant D. But you know, just like three D. Except they go one dimension deeper. And remember scott Stein’s new album, Please check him out Scott Stein music dot com, Our creative producer is Claire Meyerhoff. The shows social media is by Susan Chavez. Marc Silverman is our web guy and this music is by scott Stein. Thank you for that. Affirmation, scotty and congratulations on your new album. You’re with me next week for nonprofit radio big non profit ideas for the other 95% go out and be great.

Nonprofit Radio, April 5, 2013: Talk Between The Generations

Big Nonprofit Ideas for the Other 95%

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Tony’s Guests:

Phyllis Weiss Haserot
Phyllis Weiss Haserot
Phyllis Weiss Haserot: Talk Between The Generations

Phyllis Weiss Haserot, president of Practice Development Counsel, is a consultant and coach in cross generational communications. Think 60ish boss and 25ish employee. Or 70-year-old fundraiser and 30-year-old donor. Phyllis has strategies for understanding and working across the generations.

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Durney hello and welcome to tony martignetti non-profit radio big non-profit ideas for the other ninety five percent. I’m your aptly named host. I hope you were with me last week. I would develop gastroenteritis if i heard that you had missed discover your brand. Nadia touma is a brand innovation strategist with clark vertical line mcdowell your brand goes much deeper than logo and tagline what’s the process to discover your brand strategy once you’ve found it, how do you manage it? Nadia and i discussed and content marketing scott koegler was with me he’s, our tech contributor on each month and the editor of non-profit technology news. What content should you post for consumption? And where should you put it? How do you start your content? Marketing scott and i discussed this week talk between the generations. Phyllis weiss haserot president of practice development council, is a consultant and coach in cross generational communications. Think sixty is bosh sorry, think sixty issue boss and twenty five ish employees or seventy year old fundraiser and thirty year old donor phyllis has strategies for under standing and working across the generations midway into the show at roughly thirty two minutes into it tony’s take two. The transcript for my web chat with maria sample is posted on my block. I’ll say little about that, and also reminder of how important it is for you to be registered in each state where you solicit donations. My pleasure. Now to welcome phyllis weiss haserot she’s president of practice development council she champions cross generational conversation to help non-profits and for profits, solve intergenerational challenges that can hinder productivity, employee attraction, employee retention and succession planning. Her newest project is national cross generational conversation day. Phyllis weiss haserot welcome to the studio. Oh, thank you for inviting me. Delighted to be, have you? Thanks for sharing your expertise. Is today national cross generational conversation day? No, it’s, not also. Why we why we talk of why we’re here. We should be here. We should be celebrating the day. When is the day? Well, we should celebrate every day and i booked way. We should have a cross. A cross generational conversation every day. I’m really encourage off all kinds of organizations to foster that welfare people. One’s national day. What is this project of yours? Way? Haven’t designated yet or not yet. The national day will be in twenty fourteen were expecting to do some pilots and late fall okay, so i will let you know what you mean. The date national cross generational conversation day will be in late fall of next year. No late fall of twenty thirteen, where we’re planning to do that with some pilot cites nationally, will be a year off, okay, but are you are you willing to announce the day when you two so i can mark my calendar? I don’t have the day you don’t have a day yet, okay, you’re working on it, i gotta go. I am working on it. Well, i got two people working on, okay, well, i want to mark my calendar, and i will let you know there’s, an anniversary, absolutely. Let’s just set our terms straight. So we know what that everybody is thinking about the same brackets and generations. What are the generations on? Dh? Their approximate age is okay. We have for now that are in the workplace, mostly three. But but also the traditionalists were still there and we haven’t gotten to the youngest generation yet. So starting with the oldest, we have the traditionalists. And those are people who are generally over seventy. Now. Ah, boomers are bumping up on seven seventy and to, um, late forties. And then we have the generation x which is from late forties down to about thirty four. And then from something like, you know, seventeen or eighteen to thirty three or four is what we call either generation. Why? Or millennials those of the most popular names? There are many others as well. Okay, how do we how do we choose these cut off ages? You say roughly thirty three or thirty for between gen y and gen x how did those get selected? Who to door? Who are? Well, they’re you know, they’re they’re a number of people who have just studied what’s what’s going on and there’s you know, it’s, not absolute. Ah, there are many things that will determine what generation you’re in because it’s really about what influenced you in your formative years, and i when i’m saying the formative years, i’m talking about probably high school and college ages, not not toddlers that was too inert, too young, so people have common things that they, you know, tend to be influenced by wars, economy, music, political, social, economic, cultural and influences so that there is some common things that form patterns. Do we have a name for people who are, say seventeen and under today is any kind of, ah, moniker emerging for them? They’re a couple there’s a corporate naming opportunity way we call them the goldman sachs or the facebooks or something that could be a corporate naming opportunity? Maybe, but it could they might try all right, but they’re they’re they’re a couple of things, you know, those like x and why have have said, well, the next one could be z andi have about a prime something, right? You start at the beginning, but you wouldn’t want to be just a a prime or a double primer so well, a prime would do it. It doesn’t seem like a very what else? What else is emerging on? A couple of i don’t like kensi so that’s out. I actually, like see, i have my son’s name is ain’t we like these, but i wouldn’t use it for the thing that was missing. So a couple of people are using regeneration the re the regeneration re hyphen generation. Yeah. Okay. What? What does that refer to? It refers to all the kinds of things we have to change in the world. For one thing there, you know, there were a number of things that that’s defensible released. I’m just trying to get away, you know? Yeah, i’m not sure that that that’s what i would choose, but there are some people, is that one emerging that you like or you’re you’re still open minded or what? Oh, and i think we’re we’re looking so much on the whole digital native thing, you know? And if there’s some demarcation between the general room, millennials and the and the younger ones, and i think i think we have to watch what’s happening and another thing that i that i feel strongly about accepted it complicates things is that a generation of sixteen to twenty years, it’s much too large and the older and the younger ends were halfs of the various generations are very different from each other, and so, you know, i think you have to slice and dice a lot more war more than then have these, but it just confuses people and complicates things. I certainly when i entered ah, the boomers, so i guess we’re not late forties. I didn’t feel much kinship with those who are seventy or so now, now that i’m or in the middle or a little a little closer to the middle anyway, i feel a little more kinship on both sides, but i’m at fifty one, but yeah, i i didn’t i felt that when i was like i said, when i was forty, i didn’t feel much in association with seventies, but but we were those in their seventies, but we were we were in the same group and i tried to opt out, but there’s no, nobody sent me a check off, you know? And now he was checking on my direct now response pieces there’s never a check off for opting out and, you know, opting may be for the lower the gen x, you couldn’t. You can’t do that, right. Well, i’m cross generational, and i strongly identify with boomers x and y i am actually age, wass boomer. But, yeah, i do. I really, you know, i see the world the way younger people do, and i have lots of young friends and get a lot of energy out of that lab, very allowed to socialize outside my my boomer group, right, i hope. I hope you didn’t do no, yes, of course i did, but i can think thoughts to that gen xers and generalize, think its okay, i hope you do. You can go outside, okay, very good, all right. Let’s see, so we have just, like, a minute a half or so before break. So but well, twenty time you know you’re here for the for the hour. What are what are some of the factors? Well, you mentioned economic could be wars, the digital age. Are there other things that that divide the that that are different across the groups? Um, well, i think, you know, we put those are big categories, if you say cultural, political, social, economic, but there are lots of things within each of these categories that that will divide them. And and i think also that people are so much affected by their background, where they come from and whether it’s a conservative family, a religious family or, you know, other things in the life cycle may be important factor, and that could actually could trump certainly absolutely rule what what person rocket, right and personal style, i think, personal behavioral style and some of that you’re born with and some of it is just your, um, how you respond to your environment, but very often you’ll find the people of two very different ages might get along much better than people who were peers and age, just because they have a much more similar personal behavioral stuff. We’re going to go away for a couple minutes, and when we come back, phyllis weiss haserot stays with me, and i hope that you do, too. Talking alternative radio twenty four hours a day. Are you confused about which died it’s, right for you? Are you tired of being tired? How about improving your energy strength and appearance? Hi, i’m ricky keck, holistic nutrition and wellness consultant. If you have answered yes to any of my questions, contact me now at n y integrated health dot com, or it’s, six for six to eight, five, eight five eight eight initiate change and transform your life. Are you concerned about the future of your business for career? Would you like it all to just be better? Well, the way to do that is to better communication, and the best way to do that is training from the team at improving communications. This is larry sharp, host of the ivory tower radio program and director at improving communications. Does your office need better leadership, customer service sales, or maybe better writing or speaking skills? Could they be better at dealing with confrontation conflicts, touchy subjects all are covered here at improving communications. If you’re in the new york city area, stop by one of our public classes, or get your human resource is in touch with us. The website is improving communications, dot com, that’s, improving communications, dot com, improve your professional environment, be more effective, be happier, and make more money improving communications. That’s the answer. Hey, all you crazy listeners looking to boost your business? Why not advertise on talking alternative with very reasonable rates? Interested simply email at info at talking alternative dot com welcome back to big non-profit ideas for the other ninety five percent. I’ve got lots of live listener love, olive et michigan, reston, virginia, brooklyn, new york welcome live listener love going out to all those cities and we’ve got more to come. We’ve got dublin and mullingar, ireland well, good welcome shaman china, guangzhou, china and chang ching china ni hao he’s happy to have all of you and there are many more listening. Before the show, i pulled listeners, and one of the questions i asked was do you directly supervise? Or are you directly supervised by someone who is twenty or more years from your age? So that’s roughly a generation, right twenty years is approximately b and fifty percent said yes. Fifty percent said no, so half half our listeners have to listeners who were polled our inn in a work relationship that’s at least one generation from them. And the second question i asked is if you answered yes. So now we just have half the half the group from the first question if you answered yes, do you feel communication between the two of you is often hampered by your age difference? And i said often hampered and ah, twenty five percent said yes. Fifty percent said sometimes, but not often, and the other twenty five percent said, no. So it’s, sort of a mix, right. Okay, um, we certainly wouldn’t want here. That was one hundred percent who were having trouble relating to each other often, right? It’s. Only twenty five percent. Yes, on behalf said sometimes, but not often, so maybe we can help. We can especially help those twenty five percent who are often having communication troubles. What are what are the what of the feelings that people are are experiencing when it’s ah, you know, maybe sixty year old fundraiser and a ah, a donor who’s a millennial or or gen x? What? What, what? What are the feelings across these across these people? Well, i think i think it really depends on the people and whether, you know, some of it might even be their own relationship with their own children or their parents, and if we’re looking at the boomers and generation, why, that those two generations are the closest parent child relationships that we’ve ever had in history? And so it is the debt dynamic can be very interesting about that. Ah, a lot of the younger people really have a good warm feeling for older people because they have those good relationships, but it may be and, you know, even if we’re talking about donors and fundraisers, ah lot of the younger people have different ideas about philanthropy, then then the older generations do the kind of things that they want to give to how they want to do it, wanting to be more hands on involved, not just writing checks or you know, doing it electronically, but, you know, knowing getting to know, interact in some way with the people that they are donating to, and i think that’s something that we see really growing, i’m not an expert in the philanthropy area, particularly although i have cause i, you know, so fascinated by everything generational i’ve done that, and i’ve done some speaking to corporate philanthropy people too, and do follow that you have, um, for instance, a lot of the silicon valley people who have made a lot of money now and there are are getting born in their forties, yeah, and they they’re doing their philanthropy in different ways than the generation older than you. So i guess we have to generalize to some extent we’re gonna be able to have the conversation is talking generalizations. And there a cz you identified there are factors that transcend these generalizations. Individual people, your relationships with family, you’re your own personal style. Okay, so but we have to generalize in that in that situation where it’s ah, a fundraiser who’s, you know, could be thirty years older than the then the donor is there. Is there insecurity with typically from the the fundraiser is feeling that here she is talking to somebody so much younger, and they and that younger person really has the power in this relationship. Is there the donor there? The one with the money is there in security? Feelings are, i suppose it could be, but not nearly as much as it probably is when it’s the other way around, when the younger person is asking for money from an older person or the same thing in a in a work situation, when you have a new, older boss, and i mean a younger bus and an older worker reporting to him. Okay, so let’s, look at that, then. So the older, older worker, younger boss, what the one of the feelings are, how do we work with that team to transcend those feelings? Okay. It may be that the younger boss, especially if they have no come newly to that position, maybe feeling, ah, you know, uncertain about how to how to do it and how do you manage other people and even their own age? That’s another, another issue of managing your your friends that you were, you know, just coworkers with with but with older, with other people, you know, sometimes the fear that the other person knows so much more and you knows, maybe going to be trying to take over for them and what they’re doing, like some intimidation it it could be, yeah, it could be intimidated and, you know, and it may be that that there’s absolutely no reason for that it doesn’t mean that the older person really feels that way, right? But the younger person lives might might feel based on these generalizations and stereotypes, right mean, isn’t well, not only stereotypes, but, you know, if you haven’t been doing something for a long time and somebody else has ah, may feel well, you know, they they think they know so much more so why should they listen to me? Am i going to be looked? At enough as an authority figure so that that kind of thing can happen. And i think that what we need to remember is that people have to have respect for each other and to respect experience and not think, oh, well, you’ve always done it this way, but i have a better way or i have done it, you know, and it’s been proven to work for twenty years. So why you trying to get me to do something in in a different way just to say ok? You know it’s not about you, it’s, about whether our common goals here, you know, we have some objective we’re trying to read which we’re trying to do something for a client or for the organisation or trying to serve, solve world problems and it’s not about, you know my way or your way or the highway it’s how can we best work together? How can we take what i know and do really well and what you know and you do really well and figure out what the role should be based on our skills, our knowledge, our interpersonal relationships with people, the contacts we have, whatever it is, what? We need here. And how are we going to make this work? Right? And how can we start to how can we start this conversation across these two people if there is a little tension, a little intimidation, little fear, how do you how does your work work with a team like that? Well, you know, i think facilitating dialogues within work teams, people who have to work together, um, is really something that’s so important and not being done enough, and it should be encouraged by the employers and, you know, sometimes you have to bring in coaches, and it could be i’m not just saying from somebody from the outside, but it could be somebody within the organization. I i think that sometimes with mentors and mentoring circles you can have or this employee resource groups that are that set up around some kind of affinity s o that you see a lot of those for for gender, and you see them for lbgt now you see it for racial, ethnic and, you know, that kind of thing, and we’re starting to see some of them around generational issues, too. And so if you, you know, you have these discussions, you know, whether they’re internally were, you know, coming from the outside, getting people in a non threatening way to start surfacing, how they, how they feel, what you know, what they see is their obstacles. What i’ve read about the millennials is that they like to be like to have their voices heard absolutely, i don’t know so much that they need to see that what they’re recommending, you know, he’s always carried out i mean, i don’t read that there that’s selfish, but they would liketo have input they liketo be know that they’re being heard absolutely, you know, and i think from the older and two when they’re no longer running things, they also want have have a voice, but this opportunity for everybody to have a voice is really important and for the younger ones and one of the one of my favorite names for a generation wireframe millennials, it’s generation, why? W h y for all the questions that they’re always asking and you know when when managers have come to me with, you know, what do i do about this? I mean, sometimes you know either sometimes it’s annoying, but even when it is a nice child. Five year olds kinds of why? Why is the sky blue? Why are we doing it this way? Yeah, and and we taught our kids to ask questions it’s a good thing, but sometimes it’s inconvenient, you know, you’re running off to a meeting to the bathroom, whatever, whatever it is, and there are people who actually managers sometimes feel guilty about it because they can’t on the spot. It’s fun to feel like a prop that question, i can’t answer all the questions that are being thrown at them, right? Okay, so so what one thing that i’ve suggested? Because especially the younger people like working in groups is, you know, why don’t you schedule every couple of weeks a session where anybody can come and ask their questions and get answers to them? And then people can hear what other people are asking that can learn from that they all have their opportunity for for their voice, their self expression, whatever, whatever it is, and again, they don’t expect to get everything that they’re asking for, but also they want to know what’s going on that has an impact on me and i think anybody in or place really wants to know that the more they’re more vociferous about asking exactly not keeping it inside, right? But the more transparency there is, i believe it’s so usually better for everybody. Okay, let me send some live listener love. Tio medford, new york. Middleboro, massachusetts. Bangor, maine live listener love bangor. I love bangor. Yeah. That’s. When? When? When i was an urban planner. And my first incarnation. And that was a client that remained was in urban. That was an urban durban downtown bangor. Okay, i hope it’s benefited from your work. Can you remember something? You wantto somebody’s listening from bangor? What do you what did you do? You put it. Build a park oversea a parka monument. What? What? What can you point to where we were doing? We were doing studies on downtown commercial revitalisation. And what kind of businesses should come in and and attract them? And it really was a while ago. It was like i have no idea what bangor is like. Not sure, but it was a nice being shoretz a thriving small town. Lovely. Because because of your work there, taiwan taipei tai pei has checked in ni hao. Also none. Ching china was not with us before, but none. Ching is now with us. Ni hao out to you also. We have, ah, few more way have several minutes before break, so we’re talking about openness, transparency you want these feelings to be shared in the workplace, but typically we’re not especially, i’d say boomers in traditionalists. We’re not really accustomed to sharing feelings in the workplace. So much is that is that difficult toe overcome their? They’re traditional feelings about about sharing feelings in the workplace? Yeah, i think that you probably have a better chance with the boomers and, you know, especially some of them you don’t remember when boomers came into the workplace, they were going to change the world. No, especially the older hand. I’m on the young side of rumors, so well, i was on the young side, but i’m still a little on the younger younger, so i don’t remember that so and they’re still in trouble and they were going they were going to change things. Yeah, okay, you know, and and were kissed of all kinds of things. And you know what? What are they growing? Long hair? And what is this about woodstock and and the beatles and civil rights, you know, against the vietnam war, all of those kinds of things very politically involved. Ah, so and i think that what we’re seeing also with some of them who were thinking, what am i going to do? And i either voluntarily or involuntarily leave what i’m what i’m doing now, our thinking back to the three kinds of things that they wish they had gotten an opportunity to do when they were younger, but they were encouraged by their parents who came from a much more insecure, you know, depression area, a year era. Ah, to do something that was very respectable, that they thought was a secure job, like, you know, be a doctor, a lawyer, an engineer or something like that nothing is secure anymore, and so that, you know, thinking that there’s still, you know, deep down somewhere, things that they would like to do that that would be helpful to the problems we have in the world, they could join the occupy movement on dh, some of it but but actually occupies similar really start analogous toe the the counter culture and political ah, not really revolution but turmoil and and that we saw in the sixties when the boomers were were of that a war. Of the you know, now what’s now the millennial age, so because i’m trying to compare the with the boomers were for in opposite were opposing politically and socially with what occupy that’s true accepted it and and yeah, it’s very similar, but the younger generations now have a different way of going about most of them would not be involved in protests out on the streets. Ah, they they would go about it in a different way. They tend to their political involvement tends to be different, but but they’re still very, you know, interested in doing something about cleaning up the environment. That’s a big one there, you know, some other issues just took a different form of unoccupied was more of a one of a cohesive group in a lot of different cities than than my at least my sense of what was happening in the sixties, which was much more scattered, and there wasn’t really there wasn’t really even a name to it. Now we have occupy and the and you know, you know, the tagline, the other ninety nine percent, so they even branded themselves sort of all right, we could take take another break. When we come back, tony’s take two. And then we’ll continue the conversation about cross generational conversations with phyllis weiss haserot stay with us. Co-branding think dick tooting getting ding, ding, ding ding. You’re listening to the talking alternate network duitz waiting to get in. E-giving good. Are you suffering from aches and pains? Has traditional medicine let you down? Are you tired of taking toxic medication? Then come to the double diamond wellness center and learn how our natural methods can help you to hell? Call us now at to one to seven to one eight, one eight three that’s to one to seven to one eight, one eight three or find us on the web at www dot double diamond wellness dot com. We look forward to serving you. Hi, i’m ostomel role, and i’m sloan wainwright, where the host of the new thursday morning show the music power hour. Eleven a m. We’re gonna have fun. Shine the light on all aspects of music and its limitless healing possibilities. We’re gonna invite artists to share their songs and play live will be listening and talking about great music from yesterday to today, so you’re invited to share in our musical conversation. Your ears will be delighted with the sound of music and our voices. Join austin and sloan live thursdays at eleven a. M on talking alternative dot com. You’re listening to the talking alternative network. Duitz dahna i’m leslie goldman with the us fund for unicef, and i’m casey rotter with us fun for unison. You’re listening to tony martignetti non-profit radio big non-profit ideas for the other ninety five percent. Durney what a lovely chorus that was love that time for tony’s take to roughly thirty two minutes into the hour late last month, maria simple and i hosted a live chat for the foundation center on prospect research, and that was called what’s in your donordigital see, eh? The transcript of that chat is on my block. So if you are interested in that, the block is that tony martignetti dot com and also wantto just take a moment to remind you of the importance of charity registration. It’s ah it’s, part of the practice that i do aside from the plant e-giving fund-raising consulting because not complying with the state laws in every state where you solicit donations can be a little embarrassing. I remember that chris christie was embarrassed because he created a sandy relief fund, and unfortunately, the fund was not in compliance with state laws. They’re in new jersey that sell embarrassing. Um, mary j blige was embarrassed. Sometimes i call him mary j bilge, but but i do like like most of her music, so i don’t usually call her build, but mary j blige, she has a charity and was not it was not. In compliance with st charity registration laws and that she was a little embarrassed. But lest you think that it’s only for the famous and the notable, a small connecticut police charity was embarrassed when the leader was actually find twenty two thousand dollars for failure to comply with these these laws, and it was a personal fine that was not for the charity that was for the executive director on and i’ve got a little more motivation around charity registration on my block at tony martignetti dot com. If you go there and just search the phrase charity registration, you’ll find one of the posts called charity registration matters and that one details a couple of other episodes of charity registration embarrassment that you want to avoid. And that is tony’s take two for friday, the fifth of april, the fourteenth show of this year. Let me send some more live listener love absecon, new jersey see ya, but i know everybody pronounces it abso khan, but i know that it’s absecon because i have a deep love for belmar, new jersey, which is not too far away. They’re not in the same exact vicinity, but there generally related. And, ah, i still go to belmar every summer, and i hope that bill maher and absecon have well will have recovered from the devastation of sandy. Bye bye the summertime so absecon good good wishes to you and new bern, north carolina live listener love also seoul, korea well, i love the asian thie asian listeners it just incredible. So far, it’s been taiwan, china now seoul, seoul, south korea got to send you an io haserot and we’re also thinking of you soul for some for attention very tense time we’ve seen these episodes before. I certainly don’t know anything about no very little. Well, let’s say nothing about the politics of the peninsula, but i don’t know anything more than i’m reading on our thoughts are definitely with you in in seoul and all of south korea continuing our conversation with phyllis weiss haserot she’s, the president of practice development council, which you will find at p d council dot com that’s ah, if you were going to do that fanatically, radically, that would be papa delta candy counsel. And, of course, counsel is c e o u n c l e dot com oh, and that’s where she’s the president and you can learn more about phyllis is practice there on if you want to google her her last name spelled h e a s e r o t haserot on dh thank you for pronouncing it right. You’re doesn’t just well, i suffered. What do you think i suffer with the name martignetti martin? Ellie. I find that the tease get transformed to elza latto. I get a lot of martinelli’s or martinelli martignetti martignetti they transposed the g in the end, i get o r martin getty there’s the transposition martin getti. So i have ah, have a deep and abiding respect for proper name pronunciation. Was it again? Has a rot? No, no, i know that’s not, uh, okay, so childish, so puerile, like, like i’m you know, i’m a gen y minus minus ten years. It’s terrible let’s talk about some of the some of the other advice that you might have. You know, if you’re consulting around opening up these conversations, you know, certainly talked about facilitating dialogue and having meetings where people, younger people can ask the questions what the strategies have you got for non-profits? It may be struggling. Around these issues. Well, i think that if you have, if you have something that i have met mentioned to you and we’ve talked before, who is about setting up mentoring circles, okay, i want you to describe what mentoring circles are, i think that the first phase of mentoring that we’ve seen is older people mentoring younger word that’s the typical right and done the reciprocal well, let’s say reverse mentoring on which, you know, got some attention because thie younger people tend to be better about technology than the older ones, suggesting that someone is twenty four years old has something to teach me. Is that your is that what you’re suggesting? I think less than would have been true ten years ago? I think that most of the boomers are techno tech dahna logically competent enough to do for most of the things that they need to dio, whereas, you know, you used to have people who had their secretaries assistants doing their email for them. You know which an email it’s really easy, i never understood well, why that was a difficult thing, but, buddy, i think we’re we’re coming together much more, even though you were not born with the computer and all of those things, and, you know, you can imagine a world without them. Yes, i remember, but it was yeah, i think the first thing people thought about was the tech, the gap in technology from one generation to another. And so but but there were other things as well, that the different generations could learn from each other, and the younger generations can teach older generations. I i very often ask i have ah linked in group called cross generational conversation and that’s, we want to do the things i’ve asked, and i ask when i’m doing workshops, what can you personally it’s a younger person? Ah, what do you have to offer as a mentor to an older person? And i think, you know, they need to it’s important, that they think about this for their own confidence as well, because a lot of times, people are reluctant to ask someone that they would like to mentor them because they don’t know, you know, what can they give in exchange? I want to be a taker, right? And, you know, maybe maybe that person wouldn’t particularly be interested, they’re probably pretty busy, but if they have something to gain from mentoring you, then they’re going to be much more apt to say, oh, yeah, you know, i’d love to help you. Well, let me ask you what kinds of things did you see? What kind of response did you see that young people felt they could contribute to an older mentor? You know, sometimes it could be the contacts they have, it could be the way you know, what they observe in the world. Ah, you know, even what? What’s, you know, what’s new and coming up in the market place, you know, what kind of products do you think? What kind of needs air people going tohave that that we weren’t noticing before? So they have, ah, you know, a different sense of that. They talk to different people, they might watch and and, you know, use different media, they’re getting different messages, they’re interacting with people in a different way. And so, you know, anybody who has a business or is trying to interact or rays, or whatever it might be, can get a lot of out of their perspective out of a younger person’s perspective. So you would suggest if someone seeking if someone younger is seeking a mentor, that they explain what value they could bring to the absence. So okay, let’s say, i think the first thing you want to do is whether you’re networking or you’re looking for a mentor or you’re trying to get a client. The first thing you want to do is try to offer something before you’re asking for something. You know, reciprocity is a very big thing about, you know, as as an influence principle, and if somebody gained something from you, they’re usually going toe want to as soon as they can give back, i think most people wanted yeah, i mean, we don’t want to be owing people something for one thing, and you know it and just to be nice still don’t want to do that too, but getting getting back to the mentoring. So so so? So first you have it going one way from older, younger, then you have going the opposite direction as well. Um, reciprocally, your mutually mentoring, but people are so busy now, and a lot of mentoring relationships really fail or wither away because that one person who’s supposed to be mentoring can’t find the time and has other things that might be high priority, and if you put together a circle of people of different generations, different skills experiences and all of that who can draw on each other and people can still pair off went one. But you have a whole lot of people to draw on a whole lot of people to give to, because even if you do ah, you’re lucky enough to get the time of one particular person, no one person can give all the advice that any other one person may need. I mean, everyone does not have exactly the same needs the same life that’s always been my reluctance when people ask if all mentor them. Ah it’s, i’m not sure that i can provide everything that they they’re in need of. Saand i can’t i’m certain i can so that’s always been my reluctant, so you know, sort of qualifying sale, do as much as i can for you, but with a circle you have the expertise of lots of obviously lots of people to drop and their time and so would the circle so you could set up a mentoring. Circle in a workplace you certainly can meets what? Once once a month. The way? Well, i think i went a week it’s probably more time than anyone’s going to devote to it. But if you could do it once a month that that would be very good, or even if it was every couple of months. But other people got together in the interim. A cz they needed or wanted smaller groups. Yeah. Okay. And you’ve seen these mentoring circles work? I have i think again, people have to be very committed to doing doing, you know, you have to show up. You can’t just say the first time, okay? I’m going to be there and and you don’t on a regular basis because not only what should be giving, but you won’t be getting either. Yeah. Okay. Cool mentoring circles. Um, you talked about the, uh, life cycle of ah of a person. Um, what is there? Is there? What are we have defined stages of of our lives? Is that what you meant? Um, well, yes, there are that, but a person can be ah, undergoing or experiencing the same sorts of things at a somebody very different age on the easiest example is, you know, medicamentos years, i’ll get right, okay, dumb it down. Yeah, is men can have children and a much older age than women can. So if you have, ah, father with young children in their sixties that may be experiencing and having the same concerns is somebody who’s in their thirties or twenty or twenty or twenty? If yeah, if people in their twenties air getting around to having children not as much as it used to be, but yeah, right, okay, we’re going to take another little break, and when we come back, we’ll continue. We’re going talk about veterans to you, have some special advice, can be very, very important subject, because, of course, we don’t we don’t deal with trivia here on tony martignetti non-profit rated that goes without saying, phyllis, come on, okay, and let’s, take this break in. Phyllis stays with us, and you should do. You’re listening to the talking alternative network. Schnoll are you stuck in your business or career trying to take your business to the next level, and it keeps hitting a wall? This is sam liebowitz, the conscious consultant. I will help you get to the root cause of your abundance issues and help move you forward in your life. Call me now and let’s. Create the future you dream of. Two, one, two, seven, two, one, eight, one, eight, three, that’s to one to seven to one, eight one eight three. The conscious consultant helping conscious people. Be better business people. Have you ever considered consulting a road map when you feel you need help getting to your destination when the normal path seems blocked? A little help can come in handy when choosing an alternate route. Your natal chart is a map of your potentials. It addresses relationships, finance, business, health and, above all, creativity. Current planetary cycles can either support or challenge your objectives. I’m montgomery taylor. If you would like to explore the help of a private astrological reading, please contact me at monte at monty taylor dot. Com let’s monte m o nt y at monty taylor dot com. Talking alternative radio twenty four hours a day. Durney welcome back, big non-profit ideas for the other ninety five percent, continuing with the live listener love leave massachusetts, minneapolis, minnesota and columbus, ohio. Columbus, ohio. That’s, the appreciate the capital of ohio. I think i believe that’s, capital city live with her love to all those massachusetts, minnesota and ohio. Thailand. I’ve been to thailand. I was in bangkok and i was in pata also thailand, tokyo, japan also japan, konnichi wa. And why are you? You know, we have all these asian listeners taiwan, china, japan, thailand. Now, why are you listening at att one? Almost two o’clock in the morning. It’s oh, it’s. Remarkable. I don’t know why you’re you’re night owls or but consistently, you guys are up late on. Ah, well, this is friday night. Maybe that’s. The reason, but love to have you have you? Have you all, um, veterans? Phyllis, you have some special advice around generational cross generational conversations for for vets. What the special issues first to prevent. Well, first of all, we have ah, we’ve been at war for so long. We have a whole lot of people in their twenties and thirties who are coming back and either wanting to go to school, be educated um, her to teach or to get jobs. And if you think about it, the experience of somebody in their twenties who has been in iraq or afghanistan, or something like that has to be very, very different from the people that you see on the college campuses or, you know, at at at work, if they might have been on the thirty eighth parallel in the korean peninsula, they could have twenty eight, thirty, thirty thousand troops there, right? Right? Well, many, many places, but especially when you, you know, in danger of being fired out every day and their training is they s so much more leadership training, then younger people get now and that thie stress the and, you know, and i’m talking about now, even for people who don’t have post traumatic stress and all of those kinds of things, but that that they’re they’re pretty healthy physically and mentally, even so that you know, that that would put other layers i know on all of this, but they they’re also used to so much more structure if you think about it now, young people tend to and especially you. Know if you’re in school, you go to class when you want you dress the way you want, you don’t have very strict ways of behaving and those expectations, and so i think that the veterans arm or, you know, really more like the older generations because they’ve come, they have more structured workplaces and have been, you know, enough experience, so the lot of them have been leaders and think in that way, whereas the, you know, generalized seems to need a lot of guidance and wants to know what air their expectations, where have you been, the military there very quickly, there’s the court clear, very clear? So is so they’re really not like piers in in many ways. And so is there a problem of perception that people who are older tendo lump them as being the same as people that are in their same age group? And so that those of us who are older or not fully appreciating the differences that that air across vets and non vets, i think that’s very possible, i think that’s very possible on dh way just, you know, these people have been serving our country we need to get some jobs we have dealt with, um, you know, get educated, and so often they will look to people who have had similar experiences. So if there are older veterans in your in your work place, they can be good mentors or help them get up to see speed to how things are ah, loosen up. I mean, because if you’re used to a very rigid structure and suddenly you’re in a different environment, you have to loosen up more, uh, forming these affinity groups so that they are, you know, the veterans feel like they’re not, you know, standing out on different from everybody else around them who is their age can be very helpful. They just really have to think through what it is they’re looking for, what, what their needs are. A lot of them have families more than some of the younger people, particularly in school, and so they may have totally different needs. I want i want to close with what it is that you love about the work that you’re doing. Why do you love this? What moves you about this? I i just find differences fascinating. For one thing, i get a lot. Of energy from the younger people as well as people who are older as well. I saw something just yeah, totally, totally, i mean, i think that’s, why it’s hard to you know, we’re thinking about whether the boomer is going to do they’re not going to retire for most of them and, you know, not thinking even if money was not an issue of, you know, spending their days playing golf and lying on the beach and doing the traditional things that people thought about wanting to dio so what can i do next? I i appreciate the differences, and the other thing is that i just think that it is so important that we get all the generations talking together, working together for what they do in the workplace and solving the world’s problems that we have instead of pointing fingers at each other and say, we look at the world that you’re, you know, leaving to us. Duitz phyllis weiss haserot is president of practice development council at p d council dot com. Phyllis, thanks so much for sharing your wisdom around my absolute pleasure. I’ve had a lot of fun. I’m glad most guests do some are tortured, but not not many, and i’m glad that you’re not among the tortured, and there was no jargon jail there was all such a simple conversation, no jargon, jail love that absolutely, i don’t jarden next week followship not fellowship follow-up ship alison fine is co author with beth cantor of the networked non-profit and alison has been thinking lately about opening organizational culture to allow non-profits to be more reactive to the interests and motivations of their followers while still keeping goals in sight, and alison is going to share her thoughts next week. Also, jean takagi are regular legal contributor returns. We’re all over the web. You can’t make a click without dahna testes piela still trying to say, smacking your head hard into tony martignetti non-profit radio. What i what i actually need to learn is how to say put me on your do not call list in spanish. I’ve been getting telemarketing calls in spanish and i say, put me on your do not call list and they say, no, no, no, auntie ende they don’t understand, so they’re doing an end run around the federal do not call list, so if someone could explain to me how to say put me on your do not call list in spanish. I would be grateful. Any case we’re all over social media and youtube is but one example. My channel, their israel tony martignetti is over ninety videos i’ve got craig newmark, the found of craigslist is on there with me. Seth godin is there. Rachel sklar are from huffington post is there charles rich, the founder of donors, choose dot org’s where teachers post there, their needs and donors give to those needs he’s i’ve interviewed him so that all those people and lots of other videos at riel tony martignetti dot com also some stand up comedy is there. Our creative producer is claire meyerhoff. Sam liebowitz was not our line producer today. Janice taylor was the line producer today. And this shows social media is by regina walton of organic social media. The remote producer of tony martignetti non-profit radio is john federico of the new rules will be going remote next time we’ll be in june at fund-raising day here in new york city. I hope you’ll be with me next friday one to two p m eastern at talking alternative broadcasting at talking alternative dot com no dahna. Hyre i don’t think they’re too good ending. You’re listening to the talking, alternate network, waiting to get me to thinking. Hi, i’m donna and i’m done were certified mediators, and i am a family and couples licensed therapists and author of please don’t buy me ice cream are show new beginnings is about helping you and your family recover financially and emotionally and start the beginning of your life. We’ll answer your questions on divorce, family court, co parenting, personal development, new relationships, blending families and more. 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This is tony martignetti aptly named host of tony martignetti non-profit radio big non-profit ideas for the other ninety five percent technology fund-raising compliance, social media, small and medium non-profits have needs in all these areas. My guests are expert in all these areas and mohr tony martignetti non-profit radio friday’s one to two eastern on talking alternative broadcast are you fed up with talking points, rhetoric everywhere you turn left or right? Spin ideology no reality, in fact, its ideology over intellect, no more it’s time. Join me, larry shop a neo-sage tuesday nights nine to eleven easter for the ivory tower radio in the ivory tower will discuss what’s important to you society, politics, business and family. It’s provocative talk for the realist and the skeptic who want to know what’s. Really going on? What does it mean? What can be done about it? So gain special access to the ivory tower. Listen to me. Very sharp. Your neo-sage tuesday nights nine to eleven new york time go to ivory tower radio dot com for details. That’s ivory tower radio dot com everytime was a great place to visit for both entertainment and education. Listening. Tuesday nights nine to eleven. It will make you smarter. Dot com. Hyre