Nonprofit Radio for November 4, 2011: Assess Your Asking Style

Big Nonprofit Ideas for the Other 95%

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My Guest:

Andrea Kihlstedt

Andrea Kihlstedt: Assess Your Asking Style

Andrea reveals what it means to be a Kindred Spirit or a Mission Controller, two of the four asking styles profiled at, which she co-founded.

  • How do you prepare for a solicitation based on your asking style?
  • How should different styles be paired together for an ask?
  • And what support do your volunteers need, based on their styles?

We’ll also talk about her book, “How to Raise $1 Million (or More!) in 10 Bite-Sized Steps.

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Here is the link to the podcast: 066: A Conversation With Andrea Kihlstedt
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Dahna welcome to tony martignetti non-profit radio i’m your aptly named host. We’re always talking here about big non-profit ideas for the other ninety five percent. I sincerely hope you were with me last week for nine weeks and a wake up for essentials for your year end fund-raising that was mary allison principle of oneaccord, and she helped you out in the final stretch toward year end. We talked about segmenting and messaging, social media and other online strategies, direct mail and getting volunteers to pitch in everything that she suggested from last week could be executed quickly to get you the help you need before december thirty first and also was your mobile website, our tech contributor scott koegler, the editor of non-profit technology news. Of course, you know that broke down. Whether you need a mobile site, how to develop one and what to include to make yours spiffy and up to date this week. It’s assess your asking style. My guest is andrea kill, stead and she’s going to reveal what it means to be a rain maker or a go getter, which are two of the four asking styles profiled at asking matters dot com, which she co founded how do you prepare for a solicitation based on your asking style? How should different styles be paired together for an ask? What do you how do you support your volunteers and what do they need based on their asking styles? And we’ll also talk about one of her books how to raise one million dollars or more in ten bite-sized steps at roughly thirty two minutes after the hour on tony’s take two. I’m going to talk about the next-gen charity two thousand eleven conference my block post this week says that it will provoke your greatness. Talk about that that’s conferences on november seventeenth and eighteenth and also the results of my challenge from last week. Let’s help kelly for pete’s sake, that was a blogger post challenge. We’re live tweeting this week and we have a guest live tweeter in a dare oklahoma! Thank you very much for stepping in to lead the way on twitter, ian welcome use hashtag non-profit radio to join that conversation on twitter right now we have a couple of messages and after those, i’ll be joined by andrea kill stead we’re going to talk about assessing your asking. Style. And i hope you will stay with me. You’re listening to the talking alternative network. Dahna are you suffering from aches and pains? Has traditional medicine let you down? Are you tired of taking toxic medications, then come to the double diamond wellness center and learn how our natural methods can help you to hell? Call us now at to one to seven to one eight, one eight three that’s to one to seven to one eight one eight three or find us on the web at www dot double diamond wellness dot com way. Look forward to serving you. Is your marriage in trouble? Are you considering divorce? Hello, i’m lawrence bloom, a family law attorney in new york and new jersey. No one is happier than the day their divorce is final. My firm can help you. We take the nasty out of the divorce process and make people happy. Police call a set to one, two, nine six four three five zero two for a free concert station. That’s lawrence h bloom two, one, two, nine, six, four, three, five zero two. We make people happy. Hey, all you crazy listeners looking to boost your business? Why not advertise on talking alternative with very reasonable rates? Interested simply email at info at talking alternative dot com all right, welcome back to tony martignetti non-profit radio big non-profit ideas for the other ninety five percent with me now is andrea kill stead she’s, a consultant, writer and trainer in fund-raising she’s, the co founder of asking matters dot com and has written two books on fund-raising capital campaigns strategies that work was published by jones and bartlett and is now in its third edition. Her more recent book is how to raise one million dollars or more in ten bite-sized steps published by emerson and church. I’m very pleased that andres work brings it to the show and dry welcome. Thank you, tony it’s a pleasure to be here on go have you we’re talking about asking for gift? Why does someone’s asking style even matter? There is many styles as there are individuals, and when we get into the mode of saying there’s, one way to ask for a gift, we ing for sure increased people’s anxiety and we know that anxiety doesn’t help us help us function in the best way we might. So we came up with a system at asking matters, dividing people into four simple quadrants and encouraging them to ask in the in the style that fits the best, the best asks they’re the ones that authentic that are authentic. And if you ask in an authentic way, you’re likely to connection most effectively to your donor asking style system is set up to help people do that. Is there a psychological basis to the four different types of stuff that the four different styles? Well, i’m certainly not the first person to be talking about stiles myers briggs is the one most people know there’s the disc system of styles. There are a variety of other style systems. I think i’m the first person to take a the notion of styles and apply it to asking there are different between the four quadrants there to two different sets of measures wanted to explain those intuitive etcetera yes, the asking style system is set up on two simple access. If you draw a actually see there’s the technical term actually that’s right, draw a vertical axis on a piece of paper and i invite all of you to do this and at the top. You put down extra virgin at the bottom. You put down introvert. Most of us have some. Notion of which of those we are, so mark yourself as an extroverted and introvert. Then in the middle of that line, draw a horizontal axis line of aboutthe same length and on the right hand side, put down intuitive on on the left hand side, put down analytical that most of us have some sense of which of those we are. If you’re intuitive, you tend to come up with an idea and then see if the world backs you up. You tend to have a gut level about your ideas and big thoughts. If your analytical, you tend to look at the world that the details, and you see what ideas those details amount to collectively. So if you mark yourself on the on the vertical axis and on the horizontal axis, and then you dry drop box around the whole thing, it’ll give you four boxes and lo and behold, for stiles. Okay? And what are the four styles? So in the upper left hand quadrant, where you’re an extrovert and analytic your rainmaker to the right of that where your extra vert and intuitive you’re a go getter underneath go getters? You’re a kindred spirit and to the left of kindred spirit, those are people who are analytical and introvert, those air mission controllers. All right, now i took the asking matters survey, which takes its like, takes like two or three minutes, all right, thirty questions, true false questions, verse and very short on dh. I admit that i spent too long, i think, on some of them. I tried to follow the advice on the site, which says, give your first answer, where there were a couple that i that hung me up. So i’m i found out that i am equally kindred spirit and mission controller, but i was, i was aspiring to go get her. I wanted to be a go getter, so is there. Can you can you have two and aspire to a third? You are, i think everyone should aspire to go get her, okay. So what is the what is the meaning of? I guess i’ll be a little selfish and start with myself. What’s the meaning of ah, a kindred spirit. A solicitor. What does that mean for me? Yes. You know, the kindred spirits among us are the people who think of themselves least as solicitors, but tend to be very good at it because they hang back just a minute before they respond. Which gives the donor and opportunity to talk. And most of us know in the solicitation business, our primary errors that we talked too much. So the people who are who are introverts ten believe a little more air time, very effective and very successful. Way to solicit gift. So my mother was wrong. I don’t talk too much. You know, your mother may have talked too much to her, but i do. Woodstock. Listen, i hope she’s listening. I bet you’re not even listening. You’re not even listening to me saying that i listen, you believe the irony in that? Um okay. Well, that’s cool on dh there’s. Something good there’s. Good news for everybody, right? All four quadrants? Yes. Have have things that are our styles. That people can bring and are valuable to soliciting right that’s, right? I bring up the kindred spirit in particular. Because when we see people who hold back a little more a little more reticent, we tend to think that there they may not be the the sales people among us. But i think both kindred spirits and mission controllers can be fantastic solicitors at least as good as rainmakers and go getters. Okay, she’s bucking for the road. She’s bucking for more air time. But you have the whole hour you’re on. You’re not going anywhere. Okay, so then just a little, but we have a minute or so before break what’s. Ah, mission controller, which is my other one? Yes, a mission controller. I happen to be married to a mission controller, so i know that style particularly well, but it’s, not me. A full disclosure. And jay and i are not married. I know. That’s. True that’s. True. Eso mission controllers are the people who are so responsible. They do all of their homework. They like details. They were read the budget. They’ll want to know all of the numerical information about outcomes. The one on how much it costs, they will gather every piece of information before they go in, solicit a gift, they’ll make a careful plan, they might even write some out, and they will execute it the same way every time so you can count on them. If they say they’re going to do something, they’re likely to do it when they say they’re going to do it the way they say they say they’re going to do it. Fantastic people they have on your team. This is such an ego rush. I’m dying here, okay? We’re live tweeting in a dare in oklahoma city, you better not have tweeted that andre and i are not married. That is not a critical part of the show. You should not be tweeting stuff like that. So you’re doing it wrong if you treated that, i don’t know if you did. We are monitoring here, but i just haven’t taken a look yet on before we take a break. I want to share just some survey results from the from the pre show survey that was on my block. Question one do you consider personality type when assigning relationship managers to a prospect? So not? The ask yet. But just in assigning for relationship management, two thirds said yes, they do, and one third do not. We have some messages. When we come back, andrea kill states. They was with me, and i hope you all do, too, because you didn’t think that shooting getting, thinking, you’re listening to the talking alternate network, duitz get me thinking. It’s. Are you stuck in your business or career, trying to take your business to the next level, and it keeps hitting a wall? This is sam liebowitz, a conscious consultant. I will help you get to the root cause of your abundance issues and help move you forward in your life. Call me now and let’s. Create the future you dream of. Two, one, two, seven, two, one, eight, one, eight, three, that’s to one to seven to one, eight one eight three. The conscious consultant helping hunters. People be better business people. Hi, this is psychic medium. Betsy cohen, host of the show. The power of intuition. Join me at talking alternative dot com mondays at eleven a. M call in for a free psychic readings. Learn how to tune into your intuition, to feel better and to create your optimum life. I’m here to guide you and to assist you in creating life that you deserve. Listen every monday at eleven a, m on talking alternative dot com. Are you feeling overwhelmed and the current chaos of our changing times? A deeper understanding of authentic astrology can uncover solutions in every area of life. After all, metaphysics is just quantum physics, politically expressed hi and montgomery taylor and i offer lectures, seminars and private consultations. For more information, contact me at monte m o nt y at r l j media. Dot com talking alternative radio twenty four hours a day. Lively conversation. Top trends. Sound advice, that’s, tony martignetti non-profit radio. And i’m samantha cohen from the american civil liberties union. Metoo welcome back, we’re live tweeting the show, and if you want to join the conversation on twitter, use hashtag non-profit radio if you have a question that you want to submit for andrea, please please ask on twitter. You can also call where eight seven seven four aito for one two oh again eight, seven, seven, four aito for one two oh, either way, if you have a question for andrea, kill stead, we’re talking about assess your assessing your asking style and andrey, we’ve been through the two that i am the equal kindred spirit in mission controller what’s a rainmaker? Yes, a rainmaker. The people that we think of really is the quintessential sales sales people, these people tend to be competitive goal oriented. They’re the ones who are likely to take the highest, highest value prospects because they want to be sure to get to the goal they will respond to and be happy to hit, to work with and have challenged grants so that they can motivate a donor for the goal. So the people who perhaps are not the ones who were most keen on stories? No, but because they’re both extroverts and analytic, they’ll be very sensitive to the donor, the style of the person they’re talking to, while at the same time having their arms around all of the facts and the details of the case. The sound is valuable to a solicitation as the equal kindred spirit in mission control that i have any other bets. I’m sure that i’m sure the rainmakers are fine, but i don’t think they’re as good as thie combination, kindred spirit and mission controller on how about the one? I said? I aspired to the go getter? I wanted to be a go getter and i failed testing that respect? Yes, it’s not even a test of service. Really it’s an assessment assessment we came we spent a lot of time coming up with that word it’s an assessment it’s nothing more than that. It’s actually fun. It is fun and interesting and easy to take and nothing particularly deeper. Heavy but but worth worth doing, i think or so and so we hear from mother and i’ll just remind people that you’ll find that assessment at asking matters dot com that’s, right? So what does this guy know? What is the go getter? Well, i’m a go getter, we go getters are very good at big ideas. We have a lot of energy, we tend to pull people towards us with our energy and we can take big ideas and make them fairly simple. We like big ideas. We have much less tolerance for detail, and we’re not as good at closing a gift. For example, as a rainmaker would be aura’s a mission controller would be we like the possibilities, right? We like to say one of the possibilities rather than you know, how can we draw this to a close? And how can we get to the goal? So for us, helpful sometimes to pair us up with someone who’s a good closer? Excellent. We’re going talk about pairings to that, like a fine wine and a fine meal. We compare our asking styles. All right, so between the two of us, you and i have three, three covered. So if there’s anyone who knows that there are rainmaker or thinks that there are rainmaker based on what andrea the guy, the guidelines that andrew gave us earlier, why don’t you tweet and tell us that you think you’re a rainmaker and what? That what that brings the table when you are asking so let’s, talk about asking, then we have no one now if we know our style, preparing for the ask so how would different different styles prepare in different ways? Yes, so go getters, they’re going to want to prepare with simple bullet points, they’re not going to read over every annual report for the last five years. They’re not going to look at every detail of the budget they’re going to have simple goose bump inducing asking, ah points about the case and about what it is this organisation does and accomplishes probably from a big picture perspective now would they want to prepare those bullet points on their own? Or is that something that and we’re going to talk more detail later about the charity supporting its solicitors? But in terms of this, this type of person, would they want to prepare those those bullet points on their own or haven’t done for them? They’re always helped if someone can can sit with them and say, here are the bullet points i think about, but a go getter is going to be happy to talk about them, so if you’re if someone is a go getter and you can actually have a five minute conversation saying, what do you find exciting and moving about this organization? Get them to articulate it out loud that will work very well for a go getter. How about the other styles in terms of preparing for that for that important solicitation? Yes, if you’re working with a mission controller, i encourage you to send them a full package of information. Well, in advance of the time you want them to go out and ask for gifts, they will take the time to read it and take the time to master the material. They’re not going to want to go out from one minute to the next you want don’t want to ask him to mark today to go out tomorrow, you’re going to want to give them enough time to really prepare thoroughly it’s in their nature, to want to do that kindred spirits i would spend asked him to spend some time with you on sight, seeing the people you serve. These were people whose hearts are touched by watching the work in the field on they’ll learn from from watching. That’s, right? And they all convey that is exactly right. They too, are not particularly interested in huge amounts of information or detail. They’re interested in the stories that make their hearts warm and the last one we don’t talk about rainmaker. The rainmaker is the rainmakers combine these things they’re good at being charismatic in the same way go getters are, but they’re going to want to master the materials in the same way mission controllers do so give them time, give them information, make sure it’s all organized and systematized so they don’t get frustrated. One of the other survey questions i asked before the show was do you consider personality type when deciding who should ask for a gift? And almost ninety two percent said yes, they definitely do, and then the remainder no, so yes, and let me just say something that i think i think we underestimate the capacity of people who are not the obvious askar sze that’s, one of the neat things about this asking style assessment and and being able to look at each style from what they can do and what we work for them rather than saying some people can do this and some people can’t think that’s a mistake, we we underuse people that way, and we might also base that conclusion on what people say themselves. Oh, i can’t i can’t ask now, that’s different than i don’t want to ask. Yes, absolutely, absolutely. And i mean my own belief is that pretty much anybody can ask and ten can do a good job if you work with them in a way that will support them. So the value of the site is send them and buy them. I guess we’re talking about professional solicitors, right? Professional fund-raising as well as, of course, here’s boardmember staff members, development committee members, anyone who’s thinking about getting involved or being part of your development shop can and should take the assessment. In fact, you can a very interesting conversations with people comparing and contrasting asking styles, and that then gets them talking about asking, you know, it’s, an effective conversation have and fun and fun becomes going around a board room, board table or it doesn’t have to be only the board that’s that’s helping other majors, major donors may be soliciting as well. You know, i found that that there are a number of boardmember boards that have had all the board members take the aston style assessment, and then they have analyzed the board according to asking style, how many do we have? Mission controllers? How many do we have kindred spirits and then had a lively conversation to say, well, what does this do to shape our board and how it functions? Turns out to be pretty rich material and the other party to the solicitation that we haven’t talked about yet is the donor the donor prospect themselves? How would we ah, how would we assess should we figure it out on their on our own? Should we send them to the to the assessment? What do you what’s your life there? Yes, well, it’s always handy if you do know a donor style, of course, and the field we’ve talked some about trying to adapt our style to fit a donor style. I believe that mostly when we’re anxious which most of us are one we solicit, gifts were not very good at being adaptable and mostly we don’t know the donorsearch style, so i think we’re better off starting from a style in which were most comfortable and understanding very simple. This very simple style quadrant system helps us become a little more attuned to how the donor’s responding. So for example, if i’m a go getter and i’m giving big ideas and i see the donorsearch art to ask questions about details, it might dawn on me that he’s a different style than i am, and i might want to provide him with a different kind of information. Do you like to see people take time to try to figure out which style the donor is in advance, or is that really hard to figure out about about someone else? And, you know, there certainly are some donors that we know quite well, and then we could do some kind of an assessment to relating to that if we don’t know a donor well, it’s a pig in a poke, so we might as well go in with our style and have some try to have tried to have some awareness that there are people are donors who who respond differently. Andrea kill state is with me and she’s, the co founder of asking matters dot com we’re talking about assessing your asking style, how about supporting volunteers of the different types? So if someone is the the one that’s not represented between the two of us eyes a rainmaker, how would you? How would the charity support the rain making the rainmaker volunteer before solicitation? Yes, it’s a wonderful question i charity would support a rainmaker by me being sure they had all of the information to review beforehand and well in advance before hand that they know very clearly what the goal is and not only the goal, but even a stretch goal, the rainmakers, they’re going to want to be competitive and they’re going to want to go get to the goal exceeded and even blast through it. So you want to give them something that helps them understand what happens if we go over the goal? Where will that money go? How will we use it? You might want to encourage them to consider making their own gift into a challenge for the people that they’re talking to. Oh, interesting, okay, they’re going to respond to that and rainmakers also like to work in a team. Sometimes an organization in their annual fund, for example, can create teams and have a rainmaker lead a team of two or three solicitors have a little mini competition going between teams. Rainmakers are going to rise to that. Excellent. They love that challenge, you know. Okay, how about your style? The go getter? How would a charity help prepare that person? Yes, i talked to a go getter in advance. Find out what lights that go, get her up and help them talk about it and articulated to other people. If they start practicing their own words, they’ll be set to go. I would not give those people six or eight or even five prospects at a time because they’re not as good organizing, organizing their information as others are, give them one or two, they’ll do it when the mood strikes them and then give them a couple more. So pierre so dull prospects out a little more careful, like the year go getters. One of the survey questions i ask before the show is who is responsible for supporting your volunteer solicitors, which is what we’re talking about now supporting the different asking styles and sort of a mixed bag of about fifty percent said no one person has the responsibility? Actually, that was, um so there’s about sixty percent. Um, and then about twenty five percent said that the only fundraiser in the shop is responsible for that. And another group about the same because people could pick more than one select one choice said i’d better listen to the show because we don’t use volunteers solicitors that was about twenty five percent. You could have a whole show on that. We have, we have witnesses that they should be listened t should listen to the last show. So when we months ago, we talked about firing up your board fund-raising with gail perry who you? Yes, and that goes back some time. But wait, we have covered that so so that the volunteers let me just say that, that that of course, they asked the styles applies equally to two staff, as it does to volunteers on, and i think it’s, i’ve i’ve seen development offices that have had very good and lively, effective conversations, having staff members take the asthma style assessment and talking about how they would then support one another or what kinds of information they needed to be effective solicitors. So this while i think it’s a great thing to use with volunteers. I encourage hill development chops to use it is yeah, yeah, the professionals, of course, yes. Do you have a story that in your own experience as where you really felt that knowing that you’re a go getter helped you in doesn’t have to necessarily be a solicitation, but helped you in some situation? Yes, in a number of ways, as a go getter, i always like to get someone who will support me and the things that i don’t do so well, so i know that i love thinking outside the box. I know that i that i don’t like to be like to tie things down, so if i can have someone come with me and actually tie down and ask, sort of kick me under the table and i’m still blue skying about all the exciting things weaken d’oh, it’s very helpful then, then i just can’t take that. Q. I think i can quiet down a little and have someone else take and bring the gift home very, very effective for me. I ran for many years a concert siri’s and raised all of the money for it actually tickets were free and because it was easier for me to raise money than it was to sell tickets, and when i found was that i couldn’t, i could get people excited about this concert siri’s very easily was harder for me to actually tied down a dollar amount, so i did get some other people to help me with that who were of cover and restart time and complimentary stoploss exactly we’re gonna have some time to talk about those pairings. Those fine pairing let’s see, before we take a break, i’d like to see what the kindred spirit and the mission controller would would. How charity would support those those two styles for for a solicitation, yes, so kindred spirit, you know, one of the ways to support a volunteer or a staff member is to pair them with is to give them prospects that are going to work best for them. Kindred spirits tend to be a little on the shy side. You’re talking about me now because i’m talking about you. They’re fantastically heartfelt people, but it’s a little harder for them to have people say no to them. Oh, that’s definitely rejections the rejections a little tougher than it is for me for example, someone says no to me, i’m just off on the next big idea can’t stand for any spirits. Having someone say no is hard, so my advice about kindred spirits is give them prospects who were going to say yes, actually quite simple to do that right? Don’t send them to the people who are going to say no, why put them in that position? You don’t have to send people out everyone out on our art gall send to go getter, send a rainmaker out on a heart out on a hard call don’t send the kindred spirit, and if they know they’re going to be going to talk to someone who is likely to say yes, it’s going to make them much happier to do it. So you get a whole group of people who were going to be willing this illicit gifts for you because who doesn’t like success? I just even had the most recent experience of that. Five minutes before the show, i went to the bakery that’s a few doors away, and i asked for whether there was still banana bread and she said no, you felt that i took it personal, they were out of them. They were out of the banana bread. I mean, that’s that’s in a president affront to me. Right? So find out what they have before. You can look in the case first, and then i’ll ask that just to get a yes so shallow just to get the yes, i’ll ask now, theo oh, shallow no, i’ve never been secret about that. I’m definitely shallow, shallow. I just made the little shine. Okay, i met shallow have always been shelling do not tweet that tony is shallow. You dare i’ll shut! I’ll shut you off in oklahoma city if you tweet that, put that ok before, but i was just in a minute before break and we didn’t talk about preparing the mission controller. The mission for soliciting. Yes, information, information information well in advance. Let me know exactly what you’re going to want from them and tell them exactly what they need to master. If they’re going to do a good job, then you can send them to almost anybody. But you might want to think to pair them with someone who’s a little more. Sparky. Right, much as i love mission controllers, and as i said, i’m married to one. They can be a little boring, so you have to be careful, right that you provide a little bit of spark, either by helping them find the language that will add a little sparkle, or by pairing them with someone else who will. I may be the aptly named host of this show, but i’m also shy and boring and on by self admission, shallow. So you’re listening to a shallow charlie boring. No don’t know thiss around. No, no, no it’s, not terrible at all. It’s fun, but what the pairing is important. It sze, great introspection. We’re going to take a break, a few messages, and when we return, it’s, time for tony’s, take too shallow onboarding on dh. Then, of course, andreas stays with me for the rest of the hour, and i hope you do, too. You’re listening to the talking alternative network. Kayman are you feeling overwhelmed in the current chaos of our changing times? A deeper understanding of authentic astrology can uncover solutions in every area of life. After all, metaphysics is just quantum physics. Politically expressed buy-in, montgomery, taylor and i offer lectures, seminars and private consultations. For more information, contact me at monte m o nt y at r l j media. Dot com are you stuck in your business or career trying to take your business to the next level, and it keeps hitting a wall? This is sam liebowitz, the conscious consultant. I will help you get to the root cause of your abundance issues and help move you forward in your life. Call me now and let’s. Create the future you dream of. Two, one, two, seven, two, one, eight, one, eight, three, that’s to one to seven to one, eight one eight three. The conscious consultant helping conscious people. Be better business people. Hey, all you crazy listeners looking to boost your business? Why not advertise on talking alternative with very reasonable rates? Interested simply email at info at talking alternative dot com welcome back, it’s time now for tony’s, take two at roughly thirty two minutes after the hour. My block post this week is next-gen charity will provoke your greatness. I would love to see you come to the next-gen charity conference, which is on november seventeenth and eighteenth here in new york city two weeks ago, i had the conference co founder jonah helper on this show that was the october twenty first show they are bringing in speakers the likes of craig newmark, the founder of craigslist, sharing his insights for for non-profits my show is a media sponsor, that means i’ll be backstage interviewing speakers as they as they come off stage for later replay on the show. But if you want to go to the conference and see all the speakers because i won’t be able to interview them all, you can save three hundred dollars off the six hundred fifty dollars registration fee using discount code tony radio you can see out on my block at m p g a d v dot com or you can go to next-gen charity dot com and use that discount code tony radio to save three hundred dollars, and i want to send a shout and the thanks. Last week’s block post was let’s help kelly for pete’s sake. A solo fundraiser named kelly asked a question in a linked in group and it was a very good question. Very simple question, but none of the forty five thousand members of that group had an answer. And it would be indiscreet of me to say the name of the group maja link. So it was a very common question. She asked the small. She came from a small shop and she asked, basically, how should i spend my time? And none of the forty five thousand people in motion link had an answer for her, so i blogged about it and about a dozen people little more than a dozen people stepped up and i want to thank you very much for doing that. The post is called let’s help kelly for pete’s sake. You can see the dozen people who commented and there’s also a very heartfelt and thoughtful thanks from kelly thanking everybody for their suggestions. And i thank you also for stepping up and helping kelly and the tens of thousands of small shop fundraisers just like her, that is tony’s. Take two for friday, november fourth. And we’re continuing, of course, to talk about assessing your asking style with andrea kill stead, the cofounder of asking matters. Dot com andrea. Okay, so now i was joking a little about, you know, being boring and shy. And then i added shallow, but but these are not just in case anybody doesn’t get my sense of humor. These air not negative lessons that were supposed to be taking from from what are asking style is is that right, andrea? I’m giving you a chance. Andrea. Thank you. Recover. Yes, i recover. I was i was saying to tony during during the break that i that i really think that the power of the asking stiles is that it puts in a very positive way how each of these four styles can be effective and are effective. So so i think, it’s important that we understand that that mission controllers are fantastic because there’s so responsible they really gather the information. They have it for people. They share it with donors there. They fantastic, for example, for foundation or corporate donors that want all of the detailed information. And material right? You can’t get better solicitors than that kindred spirits because they’re so heartfelt because they really care about what they’re asking for, and if they do it authentically take you know you don’t get better solicitors than that either each of these styles has something powerful to offer, and i just want to make sure that that your humor doesn’t let doesn’t make people think that any of the styles has something wrong with him. The whole purpose of this is to say, we have a much broader group of people who can effectively solicit gif ts and if we engage them in doing that, if we get out the door more, if we get out and ask more, we will yes raise more money. That’s where the rubber meets the road is our our ability or inability to get out and asked people fit for gift face-to-face and the asking style system is just a system to help us do more of that. You know, i feel very strongly my co founder and asking matters, brian saber and i both feel very strongly that that’s the limiter for most of us and most organizations and s in raising money that we don’t get ourselves out the door and asking if you’ve done any capital campaign work ever, you know that that’s why capital campaigns raise much more money because they get people out the door to ask, so look at the askanase thou assessment from that perspective, it’s a motivator to help people understand the way the toe ask that will suit them best, and to help staff members look at people in that light and get them to get out their support them properly. And it’s fun and it’s fun. It’s just a couple minutes i said, i did it myself. Of course it is fun. How about in pairings? We’ve mentioned that we’ve we’ve touched on this, but we haven’t actually talked about pairing solicitors based on their asking. Stiles what? What are the combinations that work well or don’t work well, yes, yes. So if you look at the little box that you might have drawn at your desk earlier, as i was describing the two axes, the pairing works best diagonally. So if you combine a go getter and mission controller, for example, then you have all four quadrants covered all four. All for access points covered. If you pair a rainmaker and a kindred spirit, you have all four access points covered. Now i should say that that that it is my belief that the people people work together most easily in in quadrants that air next to one another. They tend to get married for took in quadrants that air diagonally across from one another. And and i think actually it tends to sometimes you can even pair a pair a donor and someone who is who is diagonally opposed to them, because one will sparked the other. So, for example, a go getter will light may light up a mission controller as long as you have someone to bring the additional material. And the other padron works that way as well. You have a whole revenue stream here. Matchmaking, matchmaking t this should be turned into a metric. We have a show on kruckel turn of about matchmaking we should be so you said you married people tend to marry diagonally. Agonal? Yes, yes, but but but they tend to work most easily when they’re when they’re in the jason and adjacent quadrants. My belief is that the more you talk about the different styles and the more you come to appreciate and understand the styles of your co workers or yours spouse or your partner, the easier it is for us to get together and appreciate the qualities of the contrary. Styles raise more money. Find your life partner that’s what i’m asking that’s, right? Yes, i have a whole another career ahead of me. And you said that people work work well together when they’re paired next to sit next to you. Is that risk? That’s? Right? That’s, right. Working meeting in the office? Yes. People who are intuitive, for example, tend to find it easier to deal with one another. Then they do with someone who’s always act, asking them for the facts, the facts, the facts just the fax, ma’am, right? Those of us who are intuitive tend to get frustrated with that. Those people who are fact space tend to get frustrated with those of us who are good at generating ideas. So if we can again raise that up, raise that conflict up, sort of begin to understand that both are important and that we both bring something valuable to the table. We’ll be able to get along a little more better a little more better. We’ll be able get along a little better. So does this then have implications for the prospect assignment process in deciding not not was goingto prepare first of station but who’s going to be the primary relationship manager for a proper yes, yes, i think it actually does. I think once you get to know a prospect fairly well, it makes some sense to assign someone of us of a similar style to make sure that that prospect gets the information they need in the way in which they take it in most easily. So i think i think yes, as we get to know our prospects, we should have something that indicates in their file what we think they’re style is in fact, i’ve often thought that some of the donor software, if i get if i get sophisticated enough about this business would be nice is some of the donor software programs provided an opportunity to put asking styles and donor styles in that in that material? We don’t have it yet, but it would be a good thing to do. Is it possible, teo? Figure out for someone like me who has to style that came out equally whether one is dominant over the other or no. Yes, i’m glad you raised that when someone takes the asking style assessment online, some people get back a primary and a secondary style some people get back. Equivalence is what happens behind the scenes for that assessment is that we get four numerical scores and the results are based on the numerical scores, so sometimes people come out equal in two scores, as you have mostly we come out with a primary score in a secondary score, and in fact, all of us have a little of each of those styles in us, right? Very few of us or one or the other, though occasionally some of us are are stronger, you know, and have more flip, more fluid ity than than others do. I think on thee asking matters website, you can actually see there were see the write ups of all four styles and somebody could even come to the website and just play with putting different answers in and see what? See what comes up. You could try to be a rain maker. If you want to be a go getter, tony, you can actually plug in all the answers that you think would lead you there and you’ll probably get a go getter. Go get her profile back. Okay? And i answered honestly, the first that’s, right? And i encourage people to do that. But people could also play with it a little something with that, um, and let’s talk about making the case for giving or, you know, yes. Whether i mean, charities typically have a case statement or something, but but in terms of how different style person is goingto make the case to that prospect, how does that very yes. You see, i found that very interesting, really. In organizations, we tend to want to make a case or have an elevator pitch. My belief is that when out of different styles, we think about it differently, we do it differently. We communicate differently. So i think it works wonderfully, actually, to have everybody in a group take, they ask, is that assessment? And then do is cem exercise is getting people to say, well, how would you make how what would your elevator speech sound like? Right in? A room have the mission controllers come up with their elevator speech? Have the rainmakers come up with their elevator speech? They’re going to do it quite differently, right? Mission controller is going to start with details and with outcomes the go getters going to start with, you know, if we do, if we work on this problem, we will change the world in that way, right? Where mission control is not going to think that way. They’re going to think from a detail up to a big picture the people who are into it, if we’re going to think from a big picture down to the detail. So i think these air one it’s wonderful opportunities for exercises to help people come up with thie elevator speech, the case for your organization that comes out of someone most naturally, most comfortably, that sets them up for going and talking to a donor in a way that’s going to feel right to them that leads me to think about then, finally, on this subject, the pairing of solicitors should they repaired in good work teams so that they’re in the quadrants that are next to each other? Is that yes. I would probably pair solicitors diagonally, and in doing that, my one, my one worry always about having two or more people. So is it a gift is that we tend to work on what we’re going to say, so we tend to take all of the air time. If you have two people soliciting a gift, i encourage you to send two people by all means pear diagonally if you can, across the asking styles. But be sure that you leave enough opportunity for questions to get the donor talking, rather than just having the solicitor phil all the time. We have some messages to share with you, and then after that break, andre will stay with me, and we’re gonna have a chance to talk about her most recent book, which is how to raise one million dollars or more in ten bite-sized steps. And i hope you’ll stay with us talking alternative radio twenty four hours a day. Hi, i’m carol ward from the body mind wellness program. Listen to my show for ideas and information to help you live a healthier life in body, mind and spirit, you’ll hear from terrific guests who are experts in the areas of health, wellness and creativity. So join me every thursday at eleven a, m eastern standard time on talking alternative dot com professionals serving community. This is tony martignetti aptly named host of tony martignetti non-profit radio. Big non-profit ideas for the other ninety five percent technology fund-raising compliance, social media, small and medium non-profits have needs in all these areas. My guests are expert in all these areas and mohr. Tony martignetti non-profit radio fridays one to two eastern on talking alternative broadcasting are you concerned about the future of your business for career? Would you like it all to just be better? Well, the way to do that is to better communication. And the best way to do that is training from the team at improving communications. This is larry sharp, host of the ivory tower radio program and director at improving communications. Does your office need better leadership? Customer service sales or maybe better writing are speaking skills? Could they be better at dealing with confrontation conflicts, touchy subjects all are covered here at improving communications. If you’re in the new york city area, stop by one of our public classics or get your human resource is in touch with us. The website is improving communications, dot com that’s improving communications, dot com improve your professional environment. Be more effective, be happier. And make more money. Improving communications. That’s. The answer. Talking all calm. Lively conversation. Top trends, sound advice, that’s. Tony martignetti, yeah, that’s. Tony martignetti non-profit radio. And i’m travis frazier from united way of new york city, and i’m michelle walls from the us fund for unicef. Durney welcome back, andrea, kill stead and i are talking about assessing your asking style, and i want to make it clear that in order to do that, to assess your asking style, you go to asking matters dot com and it’s it’s all free and available to everyone as a resource to figure out what style you are. We’ll have a chance now to talk about andrea’s second book um, how to raise one million dollars or more in ten bite-sized steps now, this is a smaller version, a condensed version of your first book, right? Yes, or at least it’s, a story’s based version, if you if you will. I was a capital campaign consultant for a great many years and wrote a fairly good sized book on capital campaign fund-raising this is a a ten chapter little chapter book that tells stories about campaigns that that makes clear some of the primary lessons that we need to know if we’re going to raise major gift money. And is your message in using stories that charity that charities should be telling stories themselves in their fund-raising, you know, charity certainly should be telling stories themselves, but if they wanted to have a book like this to give to their board, for example, they’re doing some major fund-raising and want every boardmember teo teo, learn a little more about how to raise money through major gif ts this would be the kind of kind of book you could. You could do that with it’s, a quick read it’s, about forty five fifty minute reed it’s engaging because it tells tales, interesting stories about real people who raised really money and, you know, had various interesting things happen to them through campaigns, but do you like to see charities using their own story? I did, and they’re fund-raising absolutely, yes. I like to see people using stories all over the place we all know there much more interesting than mohr, dry factual information, graphs and charts. A good story has delicate mission controllers like grass and charts, i have to say, but but they like stories, too. Early on in the book you you recommend you actually say it’s pretty important to approach different people in different ways regarding the exact same funding opportunities. How do we do that? Yes, i think that’s a chapter on goose bumps if i the idea really is that we wanted twice in one show, you said the word goose princessa combination ation. I’ve never i’ve been doing this for a year and a half. I don’t think we’ve ever used with everest twice in one show it now it’s overdone. Now, it’s, i won’t mention it again, but but i have to say, if you do have a visceral response, something moves you, then you’re more much more likely to respond to it generously. Now how we’re going to figure out how somebody is going to respond. How sorry, how different people are going to respond to the exact same funding. Yes, there’s a very simple answer to that, and that has asked them. You know what? We’ll find nothing like asking people what in their life overlaps with what you’re doing. Why might they be interested in in the cause of your organization? Does something in their history to something in their current interest, this does something connect with him and you’ll find many, many people have different ways of thinking about her looking at things. So, for example, the story that i use in the in the book is a story of a science center. Yeah, the lancaster, pennsylvania, and the person who founded the center had had some personal experience with dyslexia, and he’d like to hands on on learning because that’s, the way he learned best when he talked to the person who was in the foundation who was controlled sameh germany in the foundation, that person couldn’t care less about dyslexia. That person was interested in bringing tourists to lancaster, pennsylvania. He had a serious interest in doing that. So when when when the founder, jim, started talking about tourism and about how many people would come in the door and what would happen to the downtown if they had an organization like that and down down all of a sudden he found a different kind of response. So of course we need to understand the breadth of responses that we can get for our projects, not just the ones that happened to appeal to. Us. Sometimes we forget how broadly something can can have. Tentacles can have reach your your advice is different than ah, a variation of yeah, of other advice that guests have given, which is you’re saying toe ask the person what? What in your life overlaps with our work. And what i’ve heard in the past is asking, what about our work moves you those are different. Yes, they are different, i think exploring the overlap between the person’s life outside the charity that sir and the charities that’s, right? See, i think my belief is that we spend much too much time talking about our charity and much too little time exploring what turns on a donor, whether it’s, a foundation donor and individual. So i think we need to shift the balance of that right. Instead of spending seventy percent of the time talking telling about us, i think we need to spend at least sixty percent of the time asking about them and there’s that listening and there’s. That listening listener, yes. And listening is tremendously powerful. I recently was talking to someone who solicits gif ts for hot for a hospital. She said, you know, i have a problem with doctors? I have thirty minutes to go in solicited doctor and i spend thirty minutes talking to the doctor and i don’t have really have time to get to get to my pitch. My advice to her was don’t make your pitch spend spend the first fifteen minutes asking the doctor what he’s interested in, and you know what? He’ll end up giving you sixty minutes instead of thirty minutes because you’re interested in him. So let’s begin with a serious interest, a curiosity about our donors, then we can turn translate that into where, where the intersections are in interests between them and our organization, and that is actually very consistent with advice that other guests have given listening, giving, giving time for the donor to speak and for us to be actively listening to right what they’re saying, i think curiosity really is what is what makes us all good at this business? Okay, excellent, which actually leads to something that i saw lana twitter fundchat last month you and i were both on ah a twitter twitter chat called fundchat and you can follow it using hashtag fundchat and someone posted that in preparing for on and ask if they want to put on their game face and you suggested no. Rather why don’t you wear that? You prefer that you prefer to be vulnerable and be curious about the prospect? Yes, well, i find i find that that if someone is genuinely curious about me, i am much more available to them. And i imagine you would find the same thing that if someone really wants to know who you are, what interests you, how we might connect, they’re likely then they start moving towards you as opposed to giving them a wall. What i think of is a wall of words if i tell them about me and make them find the intersection, they’re much less likely to really to really listen and be willing to be vulnerable. That’s, right? And for anyone who’s interested invulnerability? Check out brain a browns ted talk b r e n e brown. She has a fantastic she’s, a researcher on vulnerability. Fantastic ted talk, andrea kill state is a consultant, writer and trainer and fund-raising the cofounder of asking matters dot com, where you can take the assessment and figure out what you’re asking. Style is, and she has written two books on fund-raising andrea, thank you very much for being a guest. Thank you, tony it’s a pleasure to be with you today. Thank you, it’s my pleasure as well. Next week, rachel emma silverman, reporter for the wall street journal and she writes for the journal’s, blogged the juggle, how can you balance work and life in today’s environment? I’m going to talk about that with rachel emma silverman next week with the two of those things work and personal life competing for your time. Also, maria semple are regular prospect research contributor she going to talk about a new linked in feature next week? The volunteer section it has research potential and gives you greater exposure on the on that popular site, and they also have joe ferraro. Next week, the association of fund-raising professionals, westchester county chapter in new york he’s going to talk about their national philanthropy day coming up, keep up with what’s coming up! Sign up for our insider email alerts on the facebook page when i get my banana bread, i’m gonna post that to the facebook page. You’re gonna want to know about that how? Can you live without knowing that especially leading into the weekend? Did you like today’s show, please click the like button, become a fan of the show. Of course you find us at facebook dot com and then the name of this show you listen live or archive you’ve been listening live archive! Find us on art on itunes and you’ll find our itunes paige. If you go to non-profit radio dot net on twitter, you can follow me. The show’s hashtag is non-profit radio used that often our creative producer is claire meyerhoff, our line producer and the owner of talking alternative broadcasting his sam liebowitz. Our social media is by regina walton of organic social media, but today’s live tweeting was by ian, a dare in thank you very much for filling in doing that, i’m tony martignetti this is tony martignetti non-profit radio. 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