My Guest:
Susan Comfort: Team Care
Susan Comfort wants you to go beyond self care, which gets a lot of attention, to team care. Yes, take care of yourself, but then look after your team. She’s founder of Nonprofit Wellness, and part of our 21NTC coverage. This week’s show is shorter than usual, so you can spend more time taking care of self and team.
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Transcript for 534_tony_martignetti_nonprofit_radio_20210419.mp3
Ideas for the other 95%. I’m your aptly named host of your favorite abdominal podcast. Oh, I’m glad you’re with me, I’d suffer the effects of dengue fever if you bit me with the idea that you missed this week’s show, Team Care. Susan comfort wants you to go beyond self care, which gets a lot of attention to Team care. Yes, take care of yourself, but then look after your team. She’s founder of nonprofit wellness and part of our 21 NTC coverage this week’s show is deliberately shorter than usual so you can spend more time taking care of self and team tony take two Go take care were sponsored by turn to communications pr and content for nonprofits. Your story is their mission turn hyphen two dot c o here is Team Care. Welcome to tony-martignetti non profit radio coverage of 21 ntc. Do you know what it is? It’s the 2021 nonprofit technology conference where we are sponsored by turn to communications turn hyphen two dot c o with me now is Susan comfort founder of nonprofit wellness. Susan Welcome back to nonprofit radio [00:01:39.87] spk_0:
Thanks Great to be here. [00:01:49.24] spk_1:
It was roughly a year ago. Last april when 2020 20 NTC was not in person. And we talked with mo abdullah about coronavirus and Team care. [00:01:54.34] spk_0:
Indeed. And here we are a year later and we’re facing the same issues except worse. [00:02:00.64] spk_1:
Yes, because it’s multiplied by because we’ve been in this for over a year. [00:02:05.89] spk_0:
Exactly. [00:02:15.14] spk_1:
Okay. And so your topic is very, very similar. Team care, not self care building. Resiliency in an era of burnout should be resilience. Should have been resilience, not resiliency [00:02:20.94] spk_0:
building resilience building resiliency. I think they both work. [00:02:39.64] spk_1:
You do All right. I think one works better the other. All right after I’m not I’m not strictly a grammarian. I’m only a curmudgeon. I’m not a grammarian or uh Entomology. I’m not an entomologist. I’m just curmudgeonly. Got it. Some reason I see. Billion resilience. Alright? [00:02:42.58] spk_0:
Hey, as long as you build it, I don’t care what she calls. [00:02:52.64] spk_1:
We’ll get we’ll be resilient. We’ll be resilient. Alright? So yeah, we need to keep taking care of ourselves and our teams through this and and beyond right beyond the pandemic. We’ve still got to be thinking about team care. [00:02:57.54] spk_0:
Well, let me ask you, this was a self care. Mean to you. tony [00:04:03.04] spk_1:
I can give examples. Is that what you is that what you mean? Like? It means uh Not so occasional daytime naps. It means um glass of wine. Maybe, no, not every night, but several nights a week. Glass of wine after work. It means ending work at a decent time. Even though, Well even before the pandemic, my home has always been in my office has been my home for about 15 years, maybe 20 years. So, uh but you know, so I don’t have trouble closing the door. So there’s that boundaries around time, in terms in in other words, um there’s some examples walk on the beach. I live across the street from the beach and the ocean. So walks on the beach. Love it. Some examples. And why do I think it’s important because I can’t I can’t be good to other people if I’m not good to myself 1st. And I I take that to heart and I think I take good guy. I mean, I exercise, I eat right, I’m cautious about too much meat and processed foods and think, you know, so there’s a lot, there’s a lot that goes into it for me [00:04:37.44] spk_0:
for sure. And we all have the same human body. And so we’re feeding it were resting it, we’re hydrating it and we’re moving it. Those are physical kind of self care impetus is right, that you just gave some great examples of, and we know that were in charge of self care, right? There’s nobody else in charge of our body. And we’re told that were in charge of self care. Hey, don’t forget to self care, take time for self care, set your boundaries. Well, guess what? In the nonprofit world and in the education world where we’re increasingly working, people aren’t so great at self care naturally on their own. You remind me of self care, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to do it or do it well. [00:05:09.54] spk_1:
And particularly we’re working in our homes, it’s so easy to lose the boundaries between work and personal. That’s where you’re not allowed in. You’re not allowed in after six PM or what, you know. But, but if you’re not accustomed to that, you got thrown into it in an instant, there was no, there was no teachings going on in, in, in february and early March about how to do this. You got, you got slammed with it. [00:07:07.44] spk_0:
And at first we saw it maybe as a benefit like, hey, no commute. But then we thought, ah, that commute was the one hour a day I had to myself or to listen to the radio or to listen to my book or to detach and create that boundary from work to home. Now you’ve been working from home for a while, you’ve kind of gotten practice at this, but you’re right, everyone else is kind of new to it. Not so good at it and being told in a time of unprecedented stress and pandemic. Hey, don’t forget about self care when you know what, we probably weren’t good at it to begin with. And so that’s why, well, that’s one reason why we focus on team care, because we’re just not good at self care. And the second reason is especially in a world where we’re serving others, were educating others, were giving to others in the nonprofit world. We are usually, but it’s also because we’re in this unprecedented time, self care won’t cut it. Going back to the regular, old normal we used to have isn’t going to work, it wasn’t working then we weren’t caring for ourselves particularly well then. And it’s not getting any better with bad solutions on a new framework. So we have to take this new framework, a pandemic informed world and say, well, how are we going to do things differently next time when we return to the office is what’s going to be different when we return to our teams, how we’re gonna manage differently? How are we going to work from home differently? How are we going to communicate differently? All of these things are opportunities to reset our culture? So we we coached teams, nonprofit schools, et cetera. How to take that world changing energy and reset your culture. So we’re actually turning our superpowers on each other, taking care of each other, which were really good at doing so that we can take care of ourselves better because having longevity in this career is crucial. Turnover is a silent epidemic facing the nonprofit and the education worlds. Some of its measured often it’s not. But if we don’t keep people in these jobs longer term, keep the relationships, keep the commitment, keep the knowledge, then we’re not going to do a very good job at educating Children are changing the world. [00:07:27.94] spk_1:
All right. You have some resources for for us taking care of ourselves. You have a personal stress prescription and a stressor scorecard. Yeah. Can we, first of all, can listeners get these somewhere or is it something you create on your own? You don’t need a template? [00:09:24.74] spk_0:
Well, both. You don’t need a template. We created it for you to use as a discussion tool or a self care tool, but you don’t need our form. What we did and you can download it at nonprofit wellness dot org slash resources. What we did was put together a list of about two dozen evidence based stress relief solutions. These are things that have been studied that are proven to both either lower your cortisol, the stress hormone that’s released when we’re stressed or to reset our bodily systems or to relax us. And there’s good and bad things on the list or quote good, quote bad, right? Like friendships you might think of as good, but some friendships are toxic right intoxication you might think of as bad, but actually you have a glass of wine some nights it’s good. You mentioned it as part of your self care, right? But for some people, it might be a challenge. Um, I stopped drinking three years ago. For me it was more of a challenge than a benefit. And so I cut it out because that was easiest, but everybody has to make their own decisions. Is it a glass of wine? Is it not at all? Is that? Hey, I need to go out for happy hour or more because I’m a little uptight. You get to make your decision on the personal stress prescription what works for you. And I guarantee there’s stuff on the list you’re already doing great, celebrate that. Do it more because that’s low barrier to entry if you’re already doing it. And then there’s stuff on that list that maybe you should pick up something new, something different, new world, new strategies and then there’s stuff on that list that you could really be doing with a team of doing with somebody else and that’s going to help you actually do it. Have more fun, go longer. And those are the things that we need in our wellness, right? When we actually do it, when we have fun and when we go longer and harder, right? That’s what having a buddy or having a team and accountability aspect to our care. That’s what it does for us. And the research shows it. So we need team care, not self care. I mean, not just self care. We need team care and self care, but we like to be a little bit polemic and say team care, not self care because we want to differentiate ourselves from everybody destroying self care. Don’t [00:10:01.24] spk_1:
forget we need both. So these are at nonprofit wellness dot org slash resources. I did not uh now I’m bringing out my curmudgeon again that I did not, I didn’t I didn’t uh I didn’t miss that. You snuck in template. It’s template, it’s template. How do you get template? You know? And you? No, and there was born and raised in Maryland. I was in New Jersey, weren’t that far away, but it’s template. Nothing [00:10:05.92] spk_0:
tony How do you spell curmudgeon? [00:10:14.04] spk_1:
C U R M U D G E O N? Well, because I hustled you about resiliency being wrong [00:10:16.98] spk_0:
if I want to talk real ball Mariza, I say with her and I say you can go down the ocean and you can walk on the beach all you want hon, but you don’t have to invite me or you can have your own self. You want me to do a Maryland accent the whole time, tony I’ll do it. [00:10:32.14] spk_1:
It sounds annoying. Um, yeah, [00:10:36.05] spk_0:
I worked at a crab house five summers. I’ve got the Baltimore accent down pat. [00:10:40.24] spk_1:
You worked at a crab house. [00:10:42.03] spk_0:
Indeed. [00:10:42.69] spk_1:
A servant, servant? [00:10:44.44] spk_0:
Yeah, yeah. Even after I was a vegetarian, I served recently killed uh steamed crabs right onto [00:10:50.67] spk_1:
your table. This number. All right. So as a vegetarian, is it inappropriate for me to ask you what what what type of crab meat you believe is best for crab cakes? Is that the lump is the jumbo lump at the back? [00:11:13.44] spk_0:
I’m a lacto ovo crab, a vegetarian. So I’m authorized to speak on this matter, of course. Back then you can put anything in a crab cake, but you want jumbo lump and very few breadcrumbs. [00:11:15.15] spk_1:
Wait, you’re saying it’s back then and jumbo lump. [00:11:19.14] spk_0:
Well, they’re the same thing. Jumbo lump is just the bigger chunks of back fin. [00:11:27.34] spk_1:
Right, well, right, the lump or jumbo lump, you get a mixture. Okay, back then. And some lumps, usually in the top of the container, in the bottom of the container. If you [00:11:32.56] spk_0:
say so, I pick my own crabs tony If you say, that’s what you get, that’s what you get. Just get the best crab meat you can buy in the biggest chunks you can. And if you’re like me, you can pick your own, make your own crab soup. Make your own crab cakes. Just not too much bread. Okay, It ruins the crab cake. [00:11:55.84] spk_1:
Right? Not too much. I I agree. I just made a batch with very low gluten free plank. Oh, but It was £2 of crab meat and I think A third, I guess it was 2/3 of a cup I think of. [00:11:59.79] spk_0:
We’re going to be imagining it’s Panko, not plank. Oh, tony [00:12:04.20] spk_1:
Did I say plank? Oh, I say plank. Oh, I’m going to play this back. No. Did I say plank? Oh, that’s embarrassing. I know it’s Panko. It [00:12:14.54] spk_0:
sounded like it. You can edit that part out. [00:12:15.93] spk_1:
All right. I’m not going to edit it. No, no. I called you out twice template. I’m not gonna not gonna cheat and edit out. But that’s embarrassing. I know it’s Panko. Of course, it’s Panko. Thank you for correcting me. All right. It’s very important to know what kind of crab meat is best. Alright, [00:12:32.97] spk_0:
Indeed. [00:12:40.24] spk_1:
So, all right. So we take so we get these resources or we just develop our own pursuant Egyptian and stressor and a scorecard. A scorecard worked with the prescription is that they work together [00:14:18.74] spk_0:
the scorecards under revision. So by the time your listeners here this, there might be a new one. We took the stressor. Scorecard, which was based on the ace Score card stands for adverse childhood experiences. And it’s actually measure of childhood trauma. It’s quite triggering, triggering. But we took the a scorecard and we said, well, what’s the measurement of adult stress? There wasn’t one. So, we made one and we kept revising it and we’ve gone undergone another revision. Or instead of just ranking your stressors. And these are societal stressors, not work stressors. So it might be identity related to who you are in society. It might be a circumstance related to what you’re facing right now in your life. So a circumstance could be like a divorce or a food allergy that causes you stress an identity, might be your gender, your race or your sexual orientation that may or may not given where you are in society, may or may not cause you stress. So if you know the score when you walk in the door, if you know your stress score from society, then technically we should know who gets the most wellness resources. That would be wellness equity. If we knew who got the most stress, then they would get the most wellness resources. But the way it is now is we give the corporate world wellness resources because it’s a $7 billion industry in the corporate workplace, but the nonprofit world and the education world don’t really get sort of wellness benefits or like extra help yet. I would say that we are probably among the most stressed in society. Not only do we face a lot of stressors because of who we are, what we face and our lower incomes. But also we have really stressful jobs that are that depend on us to literally change the world or change people’s minds and that is not the same as a bank job. Sorry. It’s just not. So we have more stress and we should get more resources than we do. [00:14:39.34] spk_1:
We should get more resources than right. We definitely should. Yes. And at least as much as if you’re gonna write if you’re gonna do it equitably. At least as much as you see in the in the corporate side. I mean you know you have [00:15:57.94] spk_0:
jobs I don’t want to the other people scorecard it didn’t go into though is is under revision is the strength the growth and the joy that we achieve from these identities and circumstances. So we actually put two scores on the new one where you can rank your stress but you can also rank your growth and joy. So for example I’m a woman and I identify as queer being a woman and a white woman at that in society has not caused me a lot of stress but I would say some maybe a low amount of stress being queer in society has not caused me very much stress. But when I look at both of those and I think of how much growth enjoy being a woman has brought me and how much growth enjoy being bisexual has brought me as a part of the queer community that’s off the charts. I rank much higher my growth and joy than I do my stress. And so in that way I go, hey, what a bonus that I have had this stress in my life. What an opportunity for growth and joy that this stressful thing brought me and that puts it in a whole new frame for me I think. Yeah, I face a lot of stress and my job and in my life. But look at how much I’ve grown and how much joy I get out of life. And so that’s our stressor. Scorecard revision. It’s now called the stressor and resilience Scorecard because again, building resilience or resiliency is super important in a time of constant change and stress. [00:17:23.34] spk_1:
Thank you for saying resilience first. And then or or resiliency as the second alternative. Alright, so how do we then bring? I’m relentless. If nothing else I don’t let go, it’s time for a break. Turn to communications when there’s something in the news and you want to be heard when you want to get an op ed published. When you want a guest on blogs and podcasts, speak at conferences and be shared on social turn to turn to your story. Is there mission turn hyphen two dot C O. It’s time for Tony’s take two. I want you to go out first. Take care of yourself as Susan is advising and then take care of your team. This is a short show and a short Tony’s take too. So you will use the extra time. I hope to take care. Please go forth and care. That is Tony’s take two. We’ve got boo koo, but loads more time for team care, but not as much boo koo as usual. So how do we bring this now to a team level? Because it’s his team care and not self care. I’ve been wagging my listeners can’t see, but I’m telling you, I’m wagging my finger. We’re distinguishing ourselves from all the, all the nannies who say take care of yourself, how we convey this now to team care. [00:18:04.54] spk_0:
Well, I’m glad your listeners can’t see it because there’s nothing better than non profit types wagging their fingers at other people telling them what they should do right. Um, it’s really funny. It’s really simple. All you have to do is talk about it. So Burn A Brown has many best selling books about vulnerability and shame and courage and she a pines. I mean the research show shows that when you are vulnerable, you inspire empathy and it’s really the height of courageousness to be vulnerable. It’s not opposite. They’re two sides of the same. [00:18:12.40] spk_1:
Yes, absolutely. [00:19:48.14] spk_0:
Yeah. And so if you tony are a vulnerable leader and your courageous enough to say, hey, I’ve been struggling with my physical health in this way. So I’m going to take walks on the beach every morning and I’m going to have a glass of wine every night because that’s my plan for self care and I want you all to support me in that by not scheduling meetings during my walk time and not making fun of my wine selection or whatever it is, right. But by talking about it, people go, oh, tony is being vulnerable with me. That means I can be a little vulnerable with him and say, well, tony I’m struggling with some things in my physical health and I would like your support on this. Whatever it is, it doesn’t mean that somebody has to go on the beach with you. It just means that they have to support and know that that’s something that you need for your mental or physical health. And when we talk about ourselves, we we become a little vulnerable, we keep ourselves safe usually. And then other people have empathy for us because we made ourselves vulnerable. And that builds trust and trust is the elusive element that so many teams are missing. And so if wellness can be kind of a shortcut to that great, But it just means we have to talk about it and that’s why we create discussion tools. We want you to be able to talk about this with your team openly vulnerably and honestly, but also like have, you know, have something to get out of it. Maybe you all could support a new direction with your team care based on your discussions. Maybe instead of pastries in the kitchen, you’re going to have nuts in the kitchen because it’s healthier. Maybe you’re going to go for group walks or measure your steps together. Those are all physical things. But where we really get into the interesting stuff is when we talk about mental health things, which is a little less accepted at work, but that’s the most important thing of what we’re doing [00:20:06.44] spk_1:
okay before we get to mental health, let’s let’s keep a little simpler, a little safer. How do we just Open these conversations? Like are we are we having a meeting for this purpose or is this 10 minutes? Uh, at the beginning of a one hour meeting? All [00:22:00.94] spk_0:
of the above. So, you know, if you have a meeting about it and that sounds like a wellness committee and that would be great because a wellness committee could definitely be a diverse group of voices that pushes the agenda forward rather than like one yoga nut in the office, which is who I used to be, right. But if you don’t have time for a wellness committee or you’re not ready for wellness committee yet. No problem. Just at the beginning of every meeting, maybe you ask a checking question that has to do with health. So like what did you do already today to support your mental or physical health? That’s a quick check in question and people will think about what did I do today just walking my dog. Don’t maybe walking my dog counts as physical and mental health. Yeah. Walking my dog, I’m going to walk my dog more because that’s really good for health. It makes them think about things in a different way and it makes them share. Maybe people didn’t know you had a dog. Maybe somebody would like to go for a dog walk with you. Maybe somebody would like to bring their dog into the office and they know that since you have a dog, you’re going to be more open to it. I mean there’s many directions these conversations can go, but you just have to open it up. So it’s usually like a checking question or maybe a lunch and learn or a brown bag lunch where everybody could talk about these things. But I would say set and it set a topic. Um maybe it’s nutrition, maybe it’s some specific aspect of nutrition. Maybe it’s a movement. You know, these are things that are safe and yet they affect our mental health. So if we start talking about physical things that affect our physical health, then we’re going to start to get into, well, you know what when I take when I exercise, I feel you know happier. Well that’s mental health. And so you’re going to start talking about mental health, even though you’re talking about how you’re feeding, moving and resting your body, which is physical. Mm [00:22:02.44] spk_1:
Okay. Uh by the way, if you were the yoga nut, then I guess you would have been pushing up against me the curmudgeon if we would have been in the same workplace [00:22:11.26] spk_0:
probably. [00:22:28.64] spk_1:
But I’m not uh you know, this is a recent, a recent uh, revelation for me that I’m a little curmudgeonly. I see it in my neighborhood. Like, you know, my my neighbor across the street has has a big piece of construction waste in a role that that that the garbage people are not gonna pick up because it’s been there for over a week. You have to put your garbage in a can. It’s gotta be, it’s gotta be an authorized can with wheels and it’s got to face the right way. But they’re not going to pick up this guy’s big tart, but he leaves it out there. You know that that bothers me. I’m looking at it right now. It’s annoying. [00:22:48.14] spk_0:
It sounds like it causes you some stress. [00:22:50.14] spk_1:
Well it shouldn’t be there. It’s not part of it is the injustice of it because he knows it’s not gonna get picked up. It’s been there over a week and we have garbage pickups every monday and friday. So it’s not going if it didn’t go the first day, it’s not going the next door the next after after that. So it’s the injustice of it. I I follow the rules he should do. [00:23:09.04] spk_0:
I think the [00:23:28.74] spk_1:
neighborhood neighborhood beautification, you know, what’s that tarp out there on a big role may be the next neighbor will put a little load of uh concrete after he, after he takes his grill out of the concrete slab that it’s been in and they leaves a little to foot chunk pile of broken concrete. There’s [00:23:29.16] spk_0:
a neighborhood [00:23:30.84] spk_1:
liberties and then the next and the next next thing I have to sell my home. [00:23:46.44] spk_0:
That would be terrible. Hey, get a big piece of chalk and create some sort of art out of that rolled up tarp. Maybe it’s a caterpillar. Maybe you write a note on the street and chalk like, I don’t know, I can’t think of something [00:23:48.29] spk_1:
the hell out of here. Is that well, [00:23:58.54] spk_0:
that would be curmudgeonly. You want that hilarious. You used to be a comedian. Be hilarious, tony something funny, make them laugh. [00:24:45.94] spk_1:
You know what I was laughing about recently, I learned David Sedaris has a home in my town and a lot of people in town have pretentious names on their homes. Like when I moved here, it was seven seas. I had that the first thing I had a contractor to rip that stupid 17 1st of all it’s the atlantic ocean. It’s not A C. So it’s misnamed Second of all. These names are pretentious. David Sedaris has his house name is C Section. How good is that? How brilliant is that? Go right to the heart of the pretense. And uh so if I had thought of C Section, I would have had the contract and make those letters. But he took that one. But yeah, you’re right. I could put something in chalk. I have talked to because I have uh [00:24:46.94] spk_0:
Rafter out loud is one of our top 12 immune boosters. We [00:24:51.99] spk_1:
just, I mean this is not a [00:25:11.54] spk_0:
Topic because laughter laughing out loud actually is one of the 12 immune boosters that are masters of public health interns research to find the cheap easy. Absolutely scientific based immune boosters and laughing out loud is at the top of the list. So, uh, you will boost your immune system and everybody on the street, if you can figure out something funny to do with that rolled up tarp, I will follow up with you tony to figure out what it [00:25:21.74] spk_1:
was. The caterpillar is a good idea. I’ll keep I could make it a big turd, but that’s kind of [00:25:26.88] spk_0:
yeah, like dinosaur, you know, like make up north Carolina, dinosaur breed and say like this is the ancient, you know, [00:25:36.63] spk_1:
it’s a fossilized brontosaurus turd. [00:25:39.74] spk_0:
Exactly, you’re getting there, getting there. [00:25:46.64] spk_1:
I’m amusing myself, you know. Uh But I just [00:25:48.61] spk_0:
did it did it for yourself, right, then. It make you laugh rather than making you stressed out. [00:25:53.04] spk_1:
Okay. But I’d like something for the community to be able to chuckle at two. Exactly. All right. This is uh you [00:25:59.19] spk_0:
know, David Sedaris or anything, but you’re tony-martignetti and that’s not not [00:26:25.24] spk_1:
okay. Right. I know my place. I know my place. All right. So, this has turned into an individual mental health exercise, which is not supposed to be so. But this curmudgeon thing is just evolving in my mind about how I’m you know, traditions, there’s importance around laws and tradition and you know, so humans I might have clashed. Uh but I wasn’t conventionally when we would have been in the same workplace. This is only within the past few weeks. I’ve come to this revelation [00:26:34.14] spk_0:
blame it on the pandemic. That’s what we’re all doing. Many bad personality traits on your lifetime [00:27:01.24] spk_1:
practice. I mean, it’s a lifetime practice, right? It is absolutely. So, you know, in this phase I have curmudgeonly, maybe in six months or six years, I’ll be out of it. Um, you have some skills like you, your, your workshop identified, but you have some like skills, we can practice your stress for our teams and ourselves. Yes, [00:27:12.74] spk_0:
I think this is a really good one. This is a really good one. Okay, so what I want you to do is look out the window and anyone listening, just look out the window right now, Tony is going to be looking at a giant dinosaurs turd across the and uh, you want to name five things you see out the window besides the brontosaurus turd, tony go [00:27:32.04] spk_1:
the ocean, the uh, the walkway, the, the little wooden walkway to the ocean. My neighbor’s homes who I don’t know too well, I’m a little curmudgeonly. Uh, and there’s my, my front yard landscaping, which I’m very proud of. [00:27:36.00] spk_0:
Excellent. What’s one of the parts of the landscaping? That’s number five [00:27:41.54] spk_1:
Oh the mexican continues. They’re just starting to bloom awesome. Well grow, they’re not blooming yet, but they’re growing out of the ground green. [00:28:23.94] spk_0:
You can see that their roots have taken hold. So that’s that’s part of a mindfulness exercise where you name five things you can see for things you can touch three things, you can hear two things you can smell and one thing you can taste and it says it’s an anxiety arresting exercise where if you’re feeling anxious, you’re worried about stuff, you’re thinking into the future, you’re worried about the past, you come back to the present moment and how do you do that? five things you see four things you can touch, name them, touch them, see them, say it out loud. That will bring you back to the present moment forces you because you’re engaging all five of your senses. [00:28:30.82] spk_1:
Yeah. [00:29:23.84] spk_0:
And that’s the best thing we can do for our mental health is be mindful. The second best thing is to move our bodies because moving our bodies trains our brain and so being mindful, being more mindful, being better mindful. These are all things we can do are things we can all do. Being more movement, having better movement, being movement oriented. These are things we can all do no matter how much we move, no matter how much we’re meditating or mindful, but mindfulness is just being aware of the present moment. But it takes us out of that worrying cycle. It takes us out of that rumination, prefrontal cortex and actually forces us to be in the present moment which is a huge skill. I practice it every day for seconds per day. I’m aspiring to get up two minutes, you know, just being mindful, being present. That is a huge skill that I have been practicing a ton and that is a relief that I don’t have to become a meditator. I can just be a mindful person. What a relief. I don’t have to sit and meditate, I can just be mindful. [00:29:40.34] spk_1:
Would you count down the five again, please? Five things you can see for things you can touch, then, what [00:29:47.94] spk_0:
three things you can hear, two things you can smell and one thing you can taste, [00:29:51.84] spk_1:
Okay, so go and go and do them going, [00:30:23.74] spk_0:
you just start in the moment like, oh I have a you know, old coffee taste in my mouth, it’s just that moment, that’s what I’m experiencing in this moment right now, you know? Yeah, so the skill that I would ask everyone to practice is just being present. Just taking a present mindful breath several times a day. We take 20,000 breaths in a day. So try and make like three of them. Mindful ones, maybe 10. You know, those are skills we can always practice and always improve and they’re actually good for your brain. It’s not just like, well yoga teacher stuff, [00:30:31.14] spk_1:
I like being mindful around food that I’m actually tasting it. I’m enjoying the texture smell. I like to I can smell the food before I taste it so that I get an extra sense of taste because the, the aromas wafting over my palette. Yeah, [00:31:07.64] spk_0:
like in that out you can anticipate food. Like I’m going to have some sort of chickpea thing for dinner and I’m anticipating those chickpeas, you can cook the food mindfully and like be in the moment while you’re cooking and appreciating those textures before they get soft in the oven or you know, just all of the moments of food, it’s not just smelling it and eating it. It’s the anticipation, the preparation, the cleaning up, the discussion about it, the laughs that you had over the meal. Like if you could be present for all of that, amazing. [00:31:20.34] spk_1:
If we spend a little more time, I’ll give you your own, your own show on nonprofit radio You don’t have to be. We’ve already been like a half an hour because I went on a diatribe about homogeneous and the third and we turned it into a personal thing for me. Well, I haven’t center of the universe, so I think that’s appropriate. We [00:31:37.14] spk_0:
all are despair of the universe. In fact, we all are of our little universe. Amazing. [00:31:44.14] spk_1:
So that’s not. So that’s not. [00:31:48.70] spk_0:
But that’s why people love talking about themselves because they’re the center of the universe. And if you ask me a question of myself about myself, well, thank God, somebody noticed that I’m the center of the universe. I would love to tell you about my food or my exercise or when I am most present. Yes, I would like to tell you about that because I love talking about myself. We all love talking about ourselves in some way. [00:32:08.84] spk_1:
We do some of us more than others, some [00:32:11.29] spk_0:
more than others. You know, you could just go on clubhouse and do your show their tony Have you thought about that? [00:32:16.33] spk_1:
You know what is the clubhouse? [00:32:18.44] spk_0:
Well, that’s a, that’s a topic for another day. It’s an only iphone only app that is sort of taking over the social media world. [00:32:41.14] spk_1:
We live obviously dating myself, I’m 59, so I’m not hiding. So I’m not familiar with clubhouse. Um, let’s see. Well, all right. Where can we spend a little more time? Susan comfort. Um, I don’t know. You tell me you’re you’re the person who thinks about this all the time. I only [00:32:45.24] spk_0:
I think everybody should stop listening and go outside and take a walk. We’re listening while [00:32:50.48] spk_1:
at the end of the don’t stop now. Keep listening until the end. You [00:32:59.84] spk_0:
know, you should stop. Stop now. There’s nothing of value coming later. Stop now. Turn it off. They won’t [00:33:00.54] spk_1:
show you’re killing my show [00:33:06.54] spk_0:
it off. They’re addicted to you. I can’t wait to see what curmudgeonly thing you’re going to say next. [00:33:10.34] spk_1:
All right. Uh, So what do you want people to do? [00:33:40.74] spk_0:
What I what I want to stop the interview. I want people to go actually take care of themselves, but in a team because that’s what I’m talking about. Team care, not healthcare. No, we usually end our trainings 10 minutes before the hour because we don’t want people to be back to back to back with meetings all day because then guess what? You don’t have any time to take care of yourself. So if anybody ever asks me, if they like, do I have any other questions or what else should we do? I say we should stop doing this thing and go take care of ourselves, go outside and take a walk on the beach tony [00:33:45.74] spk_1:
Okay, I’m going to end the show, which uh, so together with the little sponsored messages I have to put in and my tony stick to and uh blah blah blah. This is going to be about a 36 or 37 minute show and usually they’re more like 45 [00:34:01.82] spk_0:
to 40 [00:34:08.34] spk_1:
five. I’m cutting myself short. No, they’re more like 50 to 50 to 60 minutes is 50 50 50 50. [00:34:10.27] spk_0:
Look, I need to say I can talk about this stuff for hours. [00:34:14.07] spk_1:
No, no, we’re taking your advice now. [00:34:25.74] spk_0:
I’m just saying have me back. People can go listen to me on youtube, whatever, but you don’t need me. People need to go take care of themselves. tony You’re keeping them from it. All right. Just you [00:34:41.04] spk_1:
were just teasing you were just teasing saying I can talk about this forever. I’m saying no, nobody said shut it off. So we’re shutting it off. All right. We’re building this show around your advice. Alright. Susan comfort. Your pronouns, what are your pronouns? [00:34:45.34] spk_0:
She her and a Yeah. A spaniel debemos entry entry. The star in espanol, approximate west [00:35:17.04] spk_1:
next time. Okay, I understood some of that. Susan comfort founder. non profit wellness, you can get the resources that you talked about, the personal stress prescription and the new updated stressor and something else. Scorecard, resilience, stressor and resilience, not resiliency scorecard at nonprofit wellness dot org slash resources. All right. Susan, thank you very [00:35:18.15] spk_0:
bad. Hope to talk to you soon. Again on the beach. [00:36:13.54] spk_1:
I’m sure you will. I’m sure you will. Thank you. And thanks to each of you for listening to non profit radio coverage of 21. Ntc. The 2021 nonprofit technology conference were sponsored by 20 y. Turn to communications turn hyphen two dot ceo. And that will almost nearly be the end of this show. Uh huh. What a whirlwind did I did I just say I would have her back. Oh my is that is that a promise next week? Impact Stories and modernizing your I. T. If you missed any part of this week’s show, I Beseech you find it at tony-martignetti dot com were sponsored by turn to communications pr and content for nonprofits. Your story is their mission turn hyphen two dot c o. I got to move this along. I don’t want to I don’t want to take away from your your care time. [00:36:50.14] spk_2:
Our creative producer is Claire Meyerhoff shows, social media is by Susan Chavez. Mark Silverman is our web guy and this music is by scott Stein. Mhm. Thank you for that. Affirmation scotty. You’re with me next week for nonprofit radio big non profit ideas for the other 95 go out and be great and take care. Mhm, mm. Yeah.
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[00:00:02.84] spk_2:
Hello and welcome to tony-martignetti non profit radio big non profit
Ideas for the other 95%. I’m your aptly named host of your favorite abdominal podcast. Oh, I’m glad you’re with me, I’d suffer the effects of dengue fever if you bit me with the idea that you missed this week’s show, Team Care. Susan comfort wants you to go beyond self care, which gets a lot of attention to Team care. Yes, take care of yourself, but then look after your team. She’s founder of nonprofit wellness and part of our 21 NTC coverage this week’s show is deliberately shorter than usual so you can spend more time taking care of self and team tony take two Go take care were sponsored by turn to communications pr and content for nonprofits. Your story is their mission turn hyphen two dot c o here is Team Care. Welcome to tony-martignetti non profit radio coverage of 21 ntc. Do you know what it is? It’s the 2021 nonprofit technology conference where we are sponsored by turn to communications turn hyphen two dot c o with me now is Susan comfort founder of nonprofit wellness. Susan Welcome back to nonprofit radio [00:01:39.87] spk_0:
Thanks Great to be here. [00:01:49.24] spk_1:
It was roughly a year ago. Last april when 2020 20 NTC was not in person. And we talked with mo abdullah about coronavirus and Team care. [00:01:54.34] spk_0:
Indeed. And here we are a year later and we’re facing the same issues except worse. [00:02:00.64] spk_1:
Yes, because it’s multiplied by because we’ve been in this for over a year. [00:02:05.89] spk_0:
Exactly. [00:02:15.14] spk_1:
Okay. And so your topic is very, very similar. Team care, not self care building. Resiliency in an era of burnout should be resilience. Should have been resilience, not resiliency [00:02:20.94] spk_0:
building resilience building resiliency. I think they both work. [00:02:39.64] spk_1:
You do All right. I think one works better the other. All right after I’m not I’m not strictly a grammarian. I’m only a curmudgeon. I’m not a grammarian or uh Entomology. I’m not an entomologist. I’m just curmudgeonly. Got it. Some reason I see. Billion resilience. Alright? [00:02:42.58] spk_0:
Hey, as long as you build it, I don’t care what she calls. [00:02:52.64] spk_1:
We’ll get we’ll be resilient. We’ll be resilient. Alright? So yeah, we need to keep taking care of ourselves and our teams through this and and beyond right beyond the pandemic. We’ve still got to be thinking about team care. [00:02:57.54] spk_0:
Well, let me ask you, this was a self care. Mean to you. tony [00:04:03.04] spk_1:
I can give examples. Is that what you is that what you mean? Like? It means uh Not so occasional daytime naps. It means um glass of wine. Maybe, no, not every night, but several nights a week. Glass of wine after work. It means ending work at a decent time. Even though, Well even before the pandemic, my home has always been in my office has been my home for about 15 years, maybe 20 years. So, uh but you know, so I don’t have trouble closing the door. So there’s that boundaries around time, in terms in in other words, um there’s some examples walk on the beach. I live across the street from the beach and the ocean. So walks on the beach. Love it. Some examples. And why do I think it’s important because I can’t I can’t be good to other people if I’m not good to myself 1st. And I I take that to heart and I think I take good guy. I mean, I exercise, I eat right, I’m cautious about too much meat and processed foods and think, you know, so there’s a lot, there’s a lot that goes into it for me [00:04:37.44] spk_0:
for sure. And we all have the same human body. And so we’re feeding it were resting it, we’re hydrating it and we’re moving it. Those are physical kind of self care impetus is right, that you just gave some great examples of, and we know that were in charge of self care, right? There’s nobody else in charge of our body. And we’re told that were in charge of self care. Hey, don’t forget to self care, take time for self care, set your boundaries. Well, guess what? In the nonprofit world and in the education world where we’re increasingly working, people aren’t so great at self care naturally on their own. You remind me of self care, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to do it or do it well. [00:05:09.54] spk_1:
And particularly we’re working in our homes, it’s so easy to lose the boundaries between work and personal. That’s where you’re not allowed in. You’re not allowed in after six PM or what, you know. But, but if you’re not accustomed to that, you got thrown into it in an instant, there was no, there was no teachings going on in, in, in february and early March about how to do this. You got, you got slammed with it. [00:07:07.44] spk_0:
And at first we saw it maybe as a benefit like, hey, no commute. But then we thought, ah, that commute was the one hour a day I had to myself or to listen to the radio or to listen to my book or to detach and create that boundary from work to home. Now you’ve been working from home for a while, you’ve kind of gotten practice at this, but you’re right, everyone else is kind of new to it. Not so good at it and being told in a time of unprecedented stress and pandemic. Hey, don’t forget about self care when you know what, we probably weren’t good at it to begin with. And so that’s why, well, that’s one reason why we focus on team care, because we’re just not good at self care. And the second reason is especially in a world where we’re serving others, were educating others, were giving to others in the nonprofit world. We are usually, but it’s also because we’re in this unprecedented time, self care won’t cut it. Going back to the regular, old normal we used to have isn’t going to work, it wasn’t working then we weren’t caring for ourselves particularly well then. And it’s not getting any better with bad solutions on a new framework. So we have to take this new framework, a pandemic informed world and say, well, how are we going to do things differently next time when we return to the office is what’s going to be different when we return to our teams, how we’re gonna manage differently? How are we going to work from home differently? How are we going to communicate differently? All of these things are opportunities to reset our culture? So we we coached teams, nonprofit schools, et cetera. How to take that world changing energy and reset your culture. So we’re actually turning our superpowers on each other, taking care of each other, which were really good at doing so that we can take care of ourselves better because having longevity in this career is crucial. Turnover is a silent epidemic facing the nonprofit and the education worlds. Some of its measured often it’s not. But if we don’t keep people in these jobs longer term, keep the relationships, keep the commitment, keep the knowledge, then we’re not going to do a very good job at educating Children are changing the world. [00:07:27.94] spk_1:
All right. You have some resources for for us taking care of ourselves. You have a personal stress prescription and a stressor scorecard. Yeah. Can we, first of all, can listeners get these somewhere or is it something you create on your own? You don’t need a template? [00:09:24.74] spk_0:
Well, both. You don’t need a template. We created it for you to use as a discussion tool or a self care tool, but you don’t need our form. What we did and you can download it at nonprofit wellness dot org slash resources. What we did was put together a list of about two dozen evidence based stress relief solutions. These are things that have been studied that are proven to both either lower your cortisol, the stress hormone that’s released when we’re stressed or to reset our bodily systems or to relax us. And there’s good and bad things on the list or quote good, quote bad, right? Like friendships you might think of as good, but some friendships are toxic right intoxication you might think of as bad, but actually you have a glass of wine some nights it’s good. You mentioned it as part of your self care, right? But for some people, it might be a challenge. Um, I stopped drinking three years ago. For me it was more of a challenge than a benefit. And so I cut it out because that was easiest, but everybody has to make their own decisions. Is it a glass of wine? Is it not at all? Is that? Hey, I need to go out for happy hour or more because I’m a little uptight. You get to make your decision on the personal stress prescription what works for you. And I guarantee there’s stuff on the list you’re already doing great, celebrate that. Do it more because that’s low barrier to entry if you’re already doing it. And then there’s stuff on that list that maybe you should pick up something new, something different, new world, new strategies and then there’s stuff on that list that you could really be doing with a team of doing with somebody else and that’s going to help you actually do it. Have more fun, go longer. And those are the things that we need in our wellness, right? When we actually do it, when we have fun and when we go longer and harder, right? That’s what having a buddy or having a team and accountability aspect to our care. That’s what it does for us. And the research shows it. So we need team care, not self care. I mean, not just self care. We need team care and self care, but we like to be a little bit polemic and say team care, not self care because we want to differentiate ourselves from everybody destroying self care. Don’t [00:10:01.24] spk_1:
forget we need both. So these are at nonprofit wellness dot org slash resources. I did not uh now I’m bringing out my curmudgeon again that I did not, I didn’t I didn’t uh I didn’t miss that. You snuck in template. It’s template, it’s template. How do you get template? You know? And you? No, and there was born and raised in Maryland. I was in New Jersey, weren’t that far away, but it’s template. Nothing [00:10:05.92] spk_0:
tony How do you spell curmudgeon? [00:10:14.04] spk_1:
C U R M U D G E O N? Well, because I hustled you about resiliency being wrong [00:10:16.98] spk_0:
if I want to talk real ball Mariza, I say with her and I say you can go down the ocean and you can walk on the beach all you want hon, but you don’t have to invite me or you can have your own self. You want me to do a Maryland accent the whole time, tony I’ll do it. [00:10:32.14] spk_1:
It sounds annoying. Um, yeah, [00:10:36.05] spk_0:
I worked at a crab house five summers. I’ve got the Baltimore accent down pat. [00:10:40.24] spk_1:
You worked at a crab house. [00:10:42.03] spk_0:
Indeed. [00:10:42.69] spk_1:
A servant, servant? [00:10:44.44] spk_0:
Yeah, yeah. Even after I was a vegetarian, I served recently killed uh steamed crabs right onto [00:10:50.67] spk_1:
your table. This number. All right. So as a vegetarian, is it inappropriate for me to ask you what what what type of crab meat you believe is best for crab cakes? Is that the lump is the jumbo lump at the back? [00:11:13.44] spk_0:
I’m a lacto ovo crab, a vegetarian. So I’m authorized to speak on this matter, of course. Back then you can put anything in a crab cake, but you want jumbo lump and very few breadcrumbs. [00:11:15.15] spk_1:
Wait, you’re saying it’s back then and jumbo lump. [00:11:19.14] spk_0:
Well, they’re the same thing. Jumbo lump is just the bigger chunks of back fin. [00:11:27.34] spk_1:
Right, well, right, the lump or jumbo lump, you get a mixture. Okay, back then. And some lumps, usually in the top of the container, in the bottom of the container. If you [00:11:32.56] spk_0:
say so, I pick my own crabs tony If you say, that’s what you get, that’s what you get. Just get the best crab meat you can buy in the biggest chunks you can. And if you’re like me, you can pick your own, make your own crab soup. Make your own crab cakes. Just not too much bread. Okay, It ruins the crab cake. [00:11:55.84] spk_1:
Right? Not too much. I I agree. I just made a batch with very low gluten free plank. Oh, but It was £2 of crab meat and I think A third, I guess it was 2/3 of a cup I think of. [00:11:59.79] spk_0:
We’re going to be imagining it’s Panko, not plank. Oh, tony [00:12:04.20] spk_1:
Did I say plank? Oh, I say plank. Oh, I’m going to play this back. No. Did I say plank? Oh, that’s embarrassing. I know it’s Panko. It [00:12:14.54] spk_0:
sounded like it. You can edit that part out. [00:12:15.93] spk_1:
All right. I’m not going to edit it. No, no. I called you out twice template. I’m not gonna not gonna cheat and edit out. But that’s embarrassing. I know it’s Panko. Of course, it’s Panko. Thank you for correcting me. All right. It’s very important to know what kind of crab meat is best. Alright, [00:12:32.97] spk_0:
Indeed. [00:12:40.24] spk_1:
So, all right. So we take so we get these resources or we just develop our own pursuant Egyptian and stressor and a scorecard. A scorecard worked with the prescription is that they work together [00:14:18.74] spk_0:
the scorecards under revision. So by the time your listeners here this, there might be a new one. We took the stressor. Scorecard, which was based on the ace Score card stands for adverse childhood experiences. And it’s actually measure of childhood trauma. It’s quite triggering, triggering. But we took the a scorecard and we said, well, what’s the measurement of adult stress? There wasn’t one. So, we made one and we kept revising it and we’ve gone undergone another revision. Or instead of just ranking your stressors. And these are societal stressors, not work stressors. So it might be identity related to who you are in society. It might be a circumstance related to what you’re facing right now in your life. So a circumstance could be like a divorce or a food allergy that causes you stress an identity, might be your gender, your race or your sexual orientation that may or may not given where you are in society, may or may not cause you stress. So if you know the score when you walk in the door, if you know your stress score from society, then technically we should know who gets the most wellness resources. That would be wellness equity. If we knew who got the most stress, then they would get the most wellness resources. But the way it is now is we give the corporate world wellness resources because it’s a $7 billion industry in the corporate workplace, but the nonprofit world and the education world don’t really get sort of wellness benefits or like extra help yet. I would say that we are probably among the most stressed in society. Not only do we face a lot of stressors because of who we are, what we face and our lower incomes. But also we have really stressful jobs that are that depend on us to literally change the world or change people’s minds and that is not the same as a bank job. Sorry. It’s just not. So we have more stress and we should get more resources than we do. [00:14:39.34] spk_1:
We should get more resources than right. We definitely should. Yes. And at least as much as if you’re gonna write if you’re gonna do it equitably. At least as much as you see in the in the corporate side. I mean you know you have [00:15:57.94] spk_0:
jobs I don’t want to the other people scorecard it didn’t go into though is is under revision is the strength the growth and the joy that we achieve from these identities and circumstances. So we actually put two scores on the new one where you can rank your stress but you can also rank your growth and joy. So for example I’m a woman and I identify as queer being a woman and a white woman at that in society has not caused me a lot of stress but I would say some maybe a low amount of stress being queer in society has not caused me very much stress. But when I look at both of those and I think of how much growth enjoy being a woman has brought me and how much growth enjoy being bisexual has brought me as a part of the queer community that’s off the charts. I rank much higher my growth and joy than I do my stress. And so in that way I go, hey, what a bonus that I have had this stress in my life. What an opportunity for growth and joy that this stressful thing brought me and that puts it in a whole new frame for me I think. Yeah, I face a lot of stress and my job and in my life. But look at how much I’ve grown and how much joy I get out of life. And so that’s our stressor. Scorecard revision. It’s now called the stressor and resilience Scorecard because again, building resilience or resiliency is super important in a time of constant change and stress. [00:17:23.34] spk_1:
Thank you for saying resilience first. And then or or resiliency as the second alternative. Alright, so how do we then bring? I’m relentless. If nothing else I don’t let go, it’s time for a break. Turn to communications when there’s something in the news and you want to be heard when you want to get an op ed published. When you want a guest on blogs and podcasts, speak at conferences and be shared on social turn to turn to your story. Is there mission turn hyphen two dot C O. It’s time for Tony’s take two. I want you to go out first. Take care of yourself as Susan is advising and then take care of your team. This is a short show and a short Tony’s take too. So you will use the extra time. I hope to take care. Please go forth and care. That is Tony’s take two. We’ve got boo koo, but loads more time for team care, but not as much boo koo as usual. So how do we bring this now to a team level? Because it’s his team care and not self care. I’ve been wagging my listeners can’t see, but I’m telling you, I’m wagging my finger. We’re distinguishing ourselves from all the, all the nannies who say take care of yourself, how we convey this now to team care. [00:18:04.54] spk_0:
Well, I’m glad your listeners can’t see it because there’s nothing better than non profit types wagging their fingers at other people telling them what they should do right. Um, it’s really funny. It’s really simple. All you have to do is talk about it. So Burn A Brown has many best selling books about vulnerability and shame and courage and she a pines. I mean the research show shows that when you are vulnerable, you inspire empathy and it’s really the height of courageousness to be vulnerable. It’s not opposite. They’re two sides of the same. [00:18:12.40] spk_1:
Yes, absolutely. [00:19:48.14] spk_0:
Yeah. And so if you tony are a vulnerable leader and your courageous enough to say, hey, I’ve been struggling with my physical health in this way. So I’m going to take walks on the beach every morning and I’m going to have a glass of wine every night because that’s my plan for self care and I want you all to support me in that by not scheduling meetings during my walk time and not making fun of my wine selection or whatever it is, right. But by talking about it, people go, oh, tony is being vulnerable with me. That means I can be a little vulnerable with him and say, well, tony I’m struggling with some things in my physical health and I would like your support on this. Whatever it is, it doesn’t mean that somebody has to go on the beach with you. It just means that they have to support and know that that’s something that you need for your mental or physical health. And when we talk about ourselves, we we become a little vulnerable, we keep ourselves safe usually. And then other people have empathy for us because we made ourselves vulnerable. And that builds trust and trust is the elusive element that so many teams are missing. And so if wellness can be kind of a shortcut to that great, But it just means we have to talk about it and that’s why we create discussion tools. We want you to be able to talk about this with your team openly vulnerably and honestly, but also like have, you know, have something to get out of it. Maybe you all could support a new direction with your team care based on your discussions. Maybe instead of pastries in the kitchen, you’re going to have nuts in the kitchen because it’s healthier. Maybe you’re going to go for group walks or measure your steps together. Those are all physical things. But where we really get into the interesting stuff is when we talk about mental health things, which is a little less accepted at work, but that’s the most important thing of what we’re doing [00:20:06.44] spk_1:
okay before we get to mental health, let’s let’s keep a little simpler, a little safer. How do we just Open these conversations? Like are we are we having a meeting for this purpose or is this 10 minutes? Uh, at the beginning of a one hour meeting? All [00:22:00.94] spk_0:
of the above. So, you know, if you have a meeting about it and that sounds like a wellness committee and that would be great because a wellness committee could definitely be a diverse group of voices that pushes the agenda forward rather than like one yoga nut in the office, which is who I used to be, right. But if you don’t have time for a wellness committee or you’re not ready for wellness committee yet. No problem. Just at the beginning of every meeting, maybe you ask a checking question that has to do with health. So like what did you do already today to support your mental or physical health? That’s a quick check in question and people will think about what did I do today just walking my dog. Don’t maybe walking my dog counts as physical and mental health. Yeah. Walking my dog, I’m going to walk my dog more because that’s really good for health. It makes them think about things in a different way and it makes them share. Maybe people didn’t know you had a dog. Maybe somebody would like to go for a dog walk with you. Maybe somebody would like to bring their dog into the office and they know that since you have a dog, you’re going to be more open to it. I mean there’s many directions these conversations can go, but you just have to open it up. So it’s usually like a checking question or maybe a lunch and learn or a brown bag lunch where everybody could talk about these things. But I would say set and it set a topic. Um maybe it’s nutrition, maybe it’s some specific aspect of nutrition. Maybe it’s a movement. You know, these are things that are safe and yet they affect our mental health. So if we start talking about physical things that affect our physical health, then we’re going to start to get into, well, you know what when I take when I exercise, I feel you know happier. Well that’s mental health. And so you’re going to start talking about mental health, even though you’re talking about how you’re feeding, moving and resting your body, which is physical. Mm [00:22:02.44] spk_1:
Okay. Uh by the way, if you were the yoga nut, then I guess you would have been pushing up against me the curmudgeon if we would have been in the same workplace [00:22:11.26] spk_0:
probably. [00:22:28.64] spk_1:
But I’m not uh you know, this is a recent, a recent uh, revelation for me that I’m a little curmudgeonly. I see it in my neighborhood. Like, you know, my my neighbor across the street has has a big piece of construction waste in a role that that that the garbage people are not gonna pick up because it’s been there for over a week. You have to put your garbage in a can. It’s gotta be, it’s gotta be an authorized can with wheels and it’s got to face the right way. But they’re not going to pick up this guy’s big tart, but he leaves it out there. You know that that bothers me. I’m looking at it right now. It’s annoying. [00:22:48.14] spk_0:
It sounds like it causes you some stress. [00:22:50.14] spk_1:
Well it shouldn’t be there. It’s not part of it is the injustice of it because he knows it’s not gonna get picked up. It’s been there over a week and we have garbage pickups every monday and friday. So it’s not going if it didn’t go the first day, it’s not going the next door the next after after that. So it’s the injustice of it. I I follow the rules he should do. [00:23:09.04] spk_0:
I think the [00:23:28.74] spk_1:
neighborhood neighborhood beautification, you know, what’s that tarp out there on a big role may be the next neighbor will put a little load of uh concrete after he, after he takes his grill out of the concrete slab that it’s been in and they leaves a little to foot chunk pile of broken concrete. There’s [00:23:29.16] spk_0:
a neighborhood [00:23:30.84] spk_1:
liberties and then the next and the next next thing I have to sell my home. [00:23:46.44] spk_0:
That would be terrible. Hey, get a big piece of chalk and create some sort of art out of that rolled up tarp. Maybe it’s a caterpillar. Maybe you write a note on the street and chalk like, I don’t know, I can’t think of something [00:23:48.29] spk_1:
the hell out of here. Is that well, [00:23:58.54] spk_0:
that would be curmudgeonly. You want that hilarious. You used to be a comedian. Be hilarious, tony something funny, make them laugh. [00:24:45.94] spk_1:
You know what I was laughing about recently, I learned David Sedaris has a home in my town and a lot of people in town have pretentious names on their homes. Like when I moved here, it was seven seas. I had that the first thing I had a contractor to rip that stupid 17 1st of all it’s the atlantic ocean. It’s not A C. So it’s misnamed Second of all. These names are pretentious. David Sedaris has his house name is C Section. How good is that? How brilliant is that? Go right to the heart of the pretense. And uh so if I had thought of C Section, I would have had the contract and make those letters. But he took that one. But yeah, you’re right. I could put something in chalk. I have talked to because I have uh [00:24:46.94] spk_0:
Rafter out loud is one of our top 12 immune boosters. We [00:24:51.99] spk_1:
just, I mean this is not a [00:25:11.54] spk_0:
Topic because laughter laughing out loud actually is one of the 12 immune boosters that are masters of public health interns research to find the cheap easy. Absolutely scientific based immune boosters and laughing out loud is at the top of the list. So, uh, you will boost your immune system and everybody on the street, if you can figure out something funny to do with that rolled up tarp, I will follow up with you tony to figure out what it [00:25:21.74] spk_1:
was. The caterpillar is a good idea. I’ll keep I could make it a big turd, but that’s kind of [00:25:26.88] spk_0:
yeah, like dinosaur, you know, like make up north Carolina, dinosaur breed and say like this is the ancient, you know, [00:25:36.63] spk_1:
it’s a fossilized brontosaurus turd. [00:25:39.74] spk_0:
Exactly, you’re getting there, getting there. [00:25:46.64] spk_1:
I’m amusing myself, you know. Uh But I just [00:25:48.61] spk_0:
did it did it for yourself, right, then. It make you laugh rather than making you stressed out. [00:25:53.04] spk_1:
Okay. But I’d like something for the community to be able to chuckle at two. Exactly. All right. This is uh you [00:25:59.19] spk_0:
know, David Sedaris or anything, but you’re tony-martignetti and that’s not not [00:26:25.24] spk_1:
okay. Right. I know my place. I know my place. All right. So, this has turned into an individual mental health exercise, which is not supposed to be so. But this curmudgeon thing is just evolving in my mind about how I’m you know, traditions, there’s importance around laws and tradition and you know, so humans I might have clashed. Uh but I wasn’t conventionally when we would have been in the same workplace. This is only within the past few weeks. I’ve come to this revelation [00:26:34.14] spk_0:
blame it on the pandemic. That’s what we’re all doing. Many bad personality traits on your lifetime [00:27:01.24] spk_1:
practice. I mean, it’s a lifetime practice, right? It is absolutely. So, you know, in this phase I have curmudgeonly, maybe in six months or six years, I’ll be out of it. Um, you have some skills like you, your, your workshop identified, but you have some like skills, we can practice your stress for our teams and ourselves. Yes, [00:27:12.74] spk_0:
I think this is a really good one. This is a really good one. Okay, so what I want you to do is look out the window and anyone listening, just look out the window right now, Tony is going to be looking at a giant dinosaurs turd across the and uh, you want to name five things you see out the window besides the brontosaurus turd, tony go [00:27:32.04] spk_1:
the ocean, the uh, the walkway, the, the little wooden walkway to the ocean. My neighbor’s homes who I don’t know too well, I’m a little curmudgeonly. Uh, and there’s my, my front yard landscaping, which I’m very proud of. [00:27:36.00] spk_0:
Excellent. What’s one of the parts of the landscaping? That’s number five [00:27:41.54] spk_1:
Oh the mexican continues. They’re just starting to bloom awesome. Well grow, they’re not blooming yet, but they’re growing out of the ground green. [00:28:23.94] spk_0:
You can see that their roots have taken hold. So that’s that’s part of a mindfulness exercise where you name five things you can see for things you can touch three things, you can hear two things you can smell and one thing you can taste and it says it’s an anxiety arresting exercise where if you’re feeling anxious, you’re worried about stuff, you’re thinking into the future, you’re worried about the past, you come back to the present moment and how do you do that? five things you see four things you can touch, name them, touch them, see them, say it out loud. That will bring you back to the present moment forces you because you’re engaging all five of your senses. [00:28:30.82] spk_1:
Yeah. [00:29:23.84] spk_0:
And that’s the best thing we can do for our mental health is be mindful. The second best thing is to move our bodies because moving our bodies trains our brain and so being mindful, being more mindful, being better mindful. These are all things we can do are things we can all do. Being more movement, having better movement, being movement oriented. These are things we can all do no matter how much we move, no matter how much we’re meditating or mindful, but mindfulness is just being aware of the present moment. But it takes us out of that worrying cycle. It takes us out of that rumination, prefrontal cortex and actually forces us to be in the present moment which is a huge skill. I practice it every day for seconds per day. I’m aspiring to get up two minutes, you know, just being mindful, being present. That is a huge skill that I have been practicing a ton and that is a relief that I don’t have to become a meditator. I can just be a mindful person. What a relief. I don’t have to sit and meditate, I can just be mindful. [00:29:40.34] spk_1:
Would you count down the five again, please? Five things you can see for things you can touch, then, what [00:29:47.94] spk_0:
three things you can hear, two things you can smell and one thing you can taste, [00:29:51.84] spk_1:
Okay, so go and go and do them going, [00:30:23.74] spk_0:
you just start in the moment like, oh I have a you know, old coffee taste in my mouth, it’s just that moment, that’s what I’m experiencing in this moment right now, you know? Yeah, so the skill that I would ask everyone to practice is just being present. Just taking a present mindful breath several times a day. We take 20,000 breaths in a day. So try and make like three of them. Mindful ones, maybe 10. You know, those are skills we can always practice and always improve and they’re actually good for your brain. It’s not just like, well yoga teacher stuff, [00:30:31.14] spk_1:
I like being mindful around food that I’m actually tasting it. I’m enjoying the texture smell. I like to I can smell the food before I taste it so that I get an extra sense of taste because the, the aromas wafting over my palette. Yeah, [00:31:07.64] spk_0:
like in that out you can anticipate food. Like I’m going to have some sort of chickpea thing for dinner and I’m anticipating those chickpeas, you can cook the food mindfully and like be in the moment while you’re cooking and appreciating those textures before they get soft in the oven or you know, just all of the moments of food, it’s not just smelling it and eating it. It’s the anticipation, the preparation, the cleaning up, the discussion about it, the laughs that you had over the meal. Like if you could be present for all of that, amazing. [00:31:20.34] spk_1:
If we spend a little more time, I’ll give you your own, your own show on nonprofit radio You don’t have to be. We’ve already been like a half an hour because I went on a diatribe about homogeneous and the third and we turned it into a personal thing for me. Well, I haven’t center of the universe, so I think that’s appropriate. We [00:31:37.14] spk_0:
all are despair of the universe. In fact, we all are of our little universe. Amazing. [00:31:44.14] spk_1:
So that’s not. So that’s not. [00:31:48.70] spk_0:
But that’s why people love talking about themselves because they’re the center of the universe. And if you ask me a question of myself about myself, well, thank God, somebody noticed that I’m the center of the universe. I would love to tell you about my food or my exercise or when I am most present. Yes, I would like to tell you about that because I love talking about myself. We all love talking about ourselves in some way. [00:32:08.84] spk_1:
We do some of us more than others, some [00:32:11.29] spk_0:
more than others. You know, you could just go on clubhouse and do your show their tony Have you thought about that? [00:32:16.33] spk_1:
You know what is the clubhouse? [00:32:18.44] spk_0:
Well, that’s a, that’s a topic for another day. It’s an only iphone only app that is sort of taking over the social media world. [00:32:41.14] spk_1:
We live obviously dating myself, I’m 59, so I’m not hiding. So I’m not familiar with clubhouse. Um, let’s see. Well, all right. Where can we spend a little more time? Susan comfort. Um, I don’t know. You tell me you’re you’re the person who thinks about this all the time. I only [00:32:45.24] spk_0:
I think everybody should stop listening and go outside and take a walk. We’re listening while [00:32:50.48] spk_1:
at the end of the don’t stop now. Keep listening until the end. You [00:32:59.84] spk_0:
know, you should stop. Stop now. There’s nothing of value coming later. Stop now. Turn it off. They won’t [00:33:00.54] spk_1:
show you’re killing my show [00:33:06.54] spk_0:
it off. They’re addicted to you. I can’t wait to see what curmudgeonly thing you’re going to say next. [00:33:10.34] spk_1:
All right. Uh, So what do you want people to do? [00:33:40.74] spk_0:
What I what I want to stop the interview. I want people to go actually take care of themselves, but in a team because that’s what I’m talking about. Team care, not healthcare. No, we usually end our trainings 10 minutes before the hour because we don’t want people to be back to back to back with meetings all day because then guess what? You don’t have any time to take care of yourself. So if anybody ever asks me, if they like, do I have any other questions or what else should we do? I say we should stop doing this thing and go take care of ourselves, go outside and take a walk on the beach tony [00:33:45.74] spk_1:
Okay, I’m going to end the show, which uh, so together with the little sponsored messages I have to put in and my tony stick to and uh blah blah blah. This is going to be about a 36 or 37 minute show and usually they’re more like 45 [00:34:01.82] spk_0:
to 40 [00:34:08.34] spk_1:
five. I’m cutting myself short. No, they’re more like 50 to 50 to 60 minutes is 50 50 50 50. [00:34:10.27] spk_0:
Look, I need to say I can talk about this stuff for hours. [00:34:14.07] spk_1:
No, no, we’re taking your advice now. [00:34:25.74] spk_0:
I’m just saying have me back. People can go listen to me on youtube, whatever, but you don’t need me. People need to go take care of themselves. tony You’re keeping them from it. All right. Just you [00:34:41.04] spk_1:
were just teasing you were just teasing saying I can talk about this forever. I’m saying no, nobody said shut it off. So we’re shutting it off. All right. We’re building this show around your advice. Alright. Susan comfort. Your pronouns, what are your pronouns? [00:34:45.34] spk_0:
She her and a Yeah. A spaniel debemos entry entry. The star in espanol, approximate west [00:35:17.04] spk_1:
next time. Okay, I understood some of that. Susan comfort founder. non profit wellness, you can get the resources that you talked about, the personal stress prescription and the new updated stressor and something else. Scorecard, resilience, stressor and resilience, not resiliency scorecard at nonprofit wellness dot org slash resources. All right. Susan, thank you very [00:35:18.15] spk_0:
bad. Hope to talk to you soon. Again on the beach. [00:36:13.54] spk_1:
I’m sure you will. I’m sure you will. Thank you. And thanks to each of you for listening to non profit radio coverage of 21. Ntc. The 2021 nonprofit technology conference were sponsored by 20 y. Turn to communications turn hyphen two dot ceo. And that will almost nearly be the end of this show. Uh huh. What a whirlwind did I did I just say I would have her back. Oh my is that is that a promise next week? Impact Stories and modernizing your I. T. If you missed any part of this week’s show, I Beseech you find it at tony-martignetti dot com were sponsored by turn to communications pr and content for nonprofits. Your story is their mission turn hyphen two dot c o. I got to move this along. I don’t want to I don’t want to take away from your your care time. [00:36:50.14] spk_2:
Our creative producer is Claire Meyerhoff shows, social media is by Susan Chavez. Mark Silverman is our web guy and this music is by scott Stein. Mhm. Thank you for that. Affirmation scotty. You’re with me next week for nonprofit radio big non profit ideas for the other 95 go out and be great and take care. Mhm, mm. Yeah.
