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[00:00:11.23] spk_0:
Hello and welcome to tony-martignetti non profit radio big non profit ideas for the other 95%. I’m your aptly named host of your favorite abdominal podcast. Oh, I’m glad you’re with me. I’d get slapped with a diagnosis of dextrose acclimation if I saw that you missed this week’s

[00:00:32.52] spk_1:
show, wake

[00:00:56.60] spk_0:
up excited, go to bed fulfilled. That’s what eric Sapperstein wants for you. He returns after many years to share his wisdom born of research over cups of coffee with some of the most successful folks on the planet. Plus there’s his book Live in wonder On Tony’s take 2 18 reasons for bequests. We’re sponsored by turn to

[00:00:57.91] spk_1:
communications

[00:01:05.94] spk_0:
pr and content for nonprofits. Your story is their mission turn hyphen two dot c O. and by 4th Dimension Technologies IT Infra in a

[00:01:09.89] spk_1:
box. The

[00:01:58.00] spk_0:
affordable tech solution for nonprofits. tony-dot-M.A.-slash-Pursuant D just like three D. But they go one dimension deeper. It is a genuine pleasure to welcome back eric Sapperstein to the show. He is an award winning winning filmmaker, best selling author, executive coach, keynote speaker and host of the new series, three things you may have seen him on the Today show CNN or headline news or in the new york times National Geographic or the Wall Street Journal. He continues to interview world leaders, tycoons, visionaries and pioneers to understand the common traits that make them successful. He’s at Erik Sabiston and at eric Sapper stone dot com eric welcome back to non profit radio

[00:02:07.49] spk_1:
Yay, Tony What a pleasure to be back with you my friend 10 years that some people would call that a decade

[00:02:49.41] spk_0:
10. It was, it was february 2012. Last time you were on we met at the thing called the next gen charity conference in new york city. Uh and I’ve been following you since I’ve got your film, we’re going to talk about, you’ve uh you’ve been living a life of Wonder. We’re gonna get to that book called Living Wonder. Um but I, I’ve got to ask you about wake up excited, go to bed fulfilled, give us some some, you know, we have a full hour together so no need to, no need to squeeze it all in here. But like high level, how can we wake up excited and go to bed fulfilled.

[00:03:33.96] spk_1:
Well, what a great question I think for me, first and foremost, you know, I grew up, my father before I was born had a stroke. He was 28 years old and he had a stroke Before that he was playing minor league baseball for the white sox. He was the top c you know, executive. My mom was a stay at home mother and at 28 my dad went into the doctor found out he was bleeding in the arteries, they had to do a surgery on him and he came out paralyzed on the entire left side of his body and my mom who was a stay at home mother became the breadwinner for our family. My dad crippled uh was really in dire straits and and depressed and had a real hard go. And then four years later I wasn’t planned, I had, I have an older brother and a sister that are six and seven years old. But even though my dad was paralyzed, he still had some things functioning.

[00:03:51.90] spk_0:
So I I

[00:08:29.90] spk_1:
uh I was because I was born as a, as a surprise and and came into the world with a father that was crippled, a father that was jaded a father that was angry and upset for not, you know, and rightfully so he he was, he was an athlete and a participate er in life and all of a sudden he was regulated to have to really crawl through the world and it wasn’t a pleasurable experience for him. And one of the great lessons that I learned from growing up like that is around suffering and there’s all kinds of suffering, they’re suffering that’s thrust upon you like being paralyzed and then there’s internal suffering, mental suffering. And one of my personal missions is to is to reduce suffering and increase joy in people’s lives. And I, I looked at my dad who was was struggling and I thought, well, he’s he’s he’s got a lot of wisdom and he’s very smart and I’m grateful to be a son and he’s not waking up excited and going to bed fulfilled. And that’s something that called to me, I wanted to do that. And so I out of college, I realized that I wanted to, to learn how to do that and not knowing it myself because it wasn’t modeled for me. That’s when I came up with this idea of traveling around the country and calling up the most passionate and successful people in the world and asking them out for a cup of coffee so I can learn from them how to wake up excited and go to bed fulfilled. And so I’ve learned a tremendous amount. And, and uh, I think that’s one of the reasons why people bring me out now to give speeches and coach executives and do all the things is to help people uh, do that. I think the world right now is for me from where I’m sitting. When I look at most people, I see most people going to bed exhausted and waking up tired and then they put that on repeat over and over and all of a sudden, you know, a week goes into a month and a month goes into a year and all of a sudden before you know, it, it’s been a decade of, of doing that. And I think that’s a tragedy. I think that a life is such a beautiful gift and that we’re here to live it. And I think it’s important to wake up excited and go to bed fulfilled and live every day, like it’s your last and a big part of that. You asked me, what can you do to do that? I would say three things in particular. One, I would say that it’s all about our language, that we use our language uh and the stories that we tell to shape and create and design our our life. And most people are using disempowering language uh to describe their life and they’re getting disempowering results. And if we use empowering language, we can have a better shot at creating empowered results. So we play a game called up the language and elevate the story and the higher we can tell, the better story that we can tell about our lives, the better our lives become. So that’s number one, Number two on what it takes to wake up excited and go to bed fulfilled. I would say it’s all about being really clear about the standards, guiding principles, values, definitions and commitments of who we are. One of the metaphors I like to use is that uh again, when I look around the world today, I see a lot of rudderless boats and we all know what happens to a boat without a rudder. You know, people have become rudderless boats and when a boat doesn’t have a rudder, it drifts, it’s at the whim of the elements, it, the news can impact it. A a story can impact it and people are being spun around. That’s why I think people are going to bed exhausted and waking up tired is because they’re unclear about what it is that they stand for and what I’ve learned from talking to the most successful people in the world is that they’re clear and they weren’t clear when they became successful, they got clear on the way because that became the rudder of their boat and they became the captain of their vessel and they were able to carve through all kinds of scenarios to be who they are because they know what their definition of success is. They know what their vision is, they know what their mission is. They know what the values that push and drive them to do what they do. They know their commitments. And I think one of the things that I’m seeing as I’m coaching all these executives around the world is that no matter how successful the executive has become, people need a good checkup, they need an opportunity to kind of reevaluate who am I, what am I what do I care about? What’s important to me and get really clear about that. And with that comes confidence, self esteem, velocity, ease, and power. And the third thing I would say that helps people wake up excited and go to bed fulfilled is definitely one of the big ah ha’s for me after studying the common traits of extraordinary people. Now for many, many years, one of the big epiphanies was that the people who wake up excited and go to bed fulfilled and live extraordinary lives for decades are people that have maintained celebrated and share their sense of wonder with the

[00:08:51.00] spk_0:
world

[00:09:40.02] spk_1:
that we have become a society that has become cynical and jaded and bored and disillusioned and all that is because somebody has sold out. Their sense of wonder. Wonder is a birthright that all of us have, every single child on this planet was born with a sense of wonder. It is our first value. It is about being curious and innovative and exploratory and living life is an adventure and some people are born with it and keep it and nurture it and celebrate it and go on to live extraordinary lives and other people, let like, you know, get punched in the gut and let the wind get knocked out of them. Let the wonder get knocked out of them, and then they become cynical and jaded and depressed and all those kind of things. So, I think this world right now, one of my big invitations is for everyone to do whatever it takes to reclaim their sense of wonder, That childlike curiosity, that all that playfulness and approach life from that place, it brings vitality, life force, and aliveness,

[00:09:57.25] spk_0:
which

[00:09:57.68] spk_1:
I guess ultimately, uh to answer your question, if you put all those together and a few other things, I think you have a greater chance of waking up excited and going to bed fulfilled.

[00:10:59.80] spk_0:
You make my synesthesia kick in. I I get I get some tears listening to you, especially the last the third, especially the third livin livin wonder that reclaiming that childhood curiosity. Sense of sense of wonder. Um, I, I have to share with you that I’ve been sharing your, I’m gonna call, well I’m gonna call it a mantra. Maybe it’s not your mantra, but the mantra. Wake up excited, go to bed fulfilled. Um, in, in my work, I am often talking to people who are 70 and over because I’m doing planned, giving fundraising for my clients who are non profits and they’re the people who leave the leave, the nonprofits in their wills and their trust and their life insurance. You know, they’re typically over 70 or so. So I shared this mantra with two women and they both, they both wanted to write it down. 11 was 84 the other, I told it to her on her 99th birthday. I was with her just a couple of weeks ago celebrating her 99th birthday and I told her about the, the,

[00:11:18.04] spk_1:
so

[00:11:18.39] spk_0:
The, the aspiration to uh, to wake up excited, go to bed fulfilled and both of them and she wrote it down. This is how a 99 year old remembers things she write it down. She would think about it and the 84 year old that was a phone conversation, but same thing she, she wanted to write it down. So it’s, it’s inspirational to folks who are over 84 and over and including a 99 year old that I shared it with. So it’s, it is uh, it’s such a beautiful aspiration.

[00:12:01.96] spk_1:
You know, it really came to me organically. I was, you know, you mentioned that I made a movie and out of college for those folks, I guess that, that don’t know about it. You know, I graduated from college and my, I, I had gone to college, not planning to go to college. I really was, that wasn’t really in my focus yet. I ended up going to school. And then not only did I go to school, I excelled, I became a student body president and fraternity president, a resident advisor. I ran the volunteer center, a big advocate. I’ve been volunteering for a long time.

[00:12:22.65] spk_0:
Where did you go to school and shout out

[00:12:25.22] spk_1:
to SAN Diego State, S.

[00:12:27.83] spk_0:
D. S. U SAn Diego State,

[00:13:17.75] spk_1:
you and the, and Grossmont College. Before that I went to a community college. I said, I did, I didn’t plan to go to college. I went to community college first, then went to SAN Diego state. And volunteering was, has been a part of my soul for a long time. It was when I was a kid. Volunteering volunteer for the special olympics. I ran the volunteer center. I ended up getting invited to run with the olympic torch because I was a volunteer uh, and volunteerism led me to being a speaker at the AmeriCorps conference, you know, for the martin Luther king national conference on service. Then I ended up meeting credit scott king and then I ended up meeting the director of the FBI bill sessions and then he introduced me to Governor Richards and Governor Richards introduced me to Henry Winkler, the Fonz. And then that led to a development deal with walt Disney Studios and then it turned our journey. We were traveling. I was I kind of jumped ahead but I was, I was

[00:13:19.97] spk_0:
gonna talk about graduating. Yeah, we’re gonna talk about Van life, we’re gonna get we’re gonna get great. But

[00:13:24.99] spk_1:
no doubt about it.

[00:13:26.00] spk_0:
I

[00:13:28.09] spk_1:
think people like to say I was Van Life before Van Life was a hashtag.

[00:13:31.54] spk_0:
Yes, before we even had hashtags,

[00:13:33.92] spk_1:
it

[00:13:35.50] spk_0:
was such a thing as a hashtag, it was a pound sign. It used to be a pound

[00:13:39.18] spk_1:
sign, It

[00:13:40.32] spk_0:
was a butcher, you were dead. A pound. Like three hashtag £3. And then that got converted to a hashtag and now pounds. I guess it’s just L. B. But yes, when, when pounds was represented by today’s hashtag you were you were living Van life.

[00:16:43.75] spk_1:
I was, I was indeed. So I guess for the for the just to recap the movie. So the movie where I graduated college I took and instead of getting a job because I felt like I achieved a lot in college and I wasn’t so ready to go get a corporate job or go to graduate school. I decided that I was going to take a year off and follow the grateful dead and work of ski season in aspen. So I took my golden retriever Jack, I bought a night I bought, I bought an old Volkswagen bus uh and the two of us set off across the country before I left my mentor in school challenged me and he said, hey eric, what can you do to make the trip more meaningful? I mean I get, you’re gonna go party and play, but you’re already good at that, What can you do that would provide value on this journey to yourself and others along the way. And he really dropped a great question that changed the trajectory of my life. And so I thought about it and I thought about my life and I thought about how my father was crippled and I grew up in a house like I did and I thought about wanting to, to wake up excited and go to bed fulfilled and what that would look like and how can I do that? And then I read this quote that said to know the road ahead, ask those coming back. And that quote stuck with me and I realized that if I wanted to live an extraordinary life, the quickest and best way that I could do that would be to go to talk to people who are already living extraordinary lives and study the common traits motivating factors and guiding principles that enable them enable everyday people to, to produce extraordinary results. And so I had this vision that I’d call people and then I set off on this cross country adventure not knowing if anybody would say yes or that I could do it. But at least it gave my, my, my journey a sense of purpose. So I set off across the country and maybe some of you might have seen me and not remembered because how I funded my trip is, I would pull into rest areas with my Coleman stove and I’d set up my dog and my bus and I jammed some jam some tunes and I sold what I called back then sexy kind grilled cheese sandwiches made with love for $1 off my Coleman stove for gas money and dog food and people would walk up to me and just tilt their head like a dog that’s confused and just like, what are you doing? And I would tell them that I graduated from school and I’m traveling around the country and I’m calling it the most powerful people in the world and taking them out for a cup of coffee and how I’m funding my travels by selling sexy kind grilled cheese sandwiches. How many sandwiches would you like? And uh, some people called the cops, uh, some people, uh, you know, turned the other way and other people thought what I was doing was cool and they started buying my sandwiches. And then not only did they buy my sandwiches, some people, they would give me $5 because they thought, what I was doing was cool or 10 or 20. And, uh, a few times I even got some $50 bill once, uh, $50 bills for two pieces of bread and some cheese, which is pretty incredible to get $50 grilled cheese sandwiches. I guess that’s, that’s what a college education, right? That’s, that’s what a college education is all about. Learning how to market $50 grilled cheese sandwiches,

[00:17:57.29] spk_0:
It’s time for a break. Turn to communications crisis Communications, did you see the pr and communications train wreck That was in the Los Angeles City Council just very recently racist remarks, followed by attempted apologies that managed to work in justifications, ignorant comments, tone deaf remarks. Do you have a crisis? Communications plan? Do you foresee a potential crisis even worse? Can you head it off? Turn two can help you with either of those with anything related to crisis? Communications, either planning or taking care of one turn to communications. Your story is their mission turn hyphen two dot C o. Now, back to wake up excited. Go to bed fulfilled.

[00:19:29.68] spk_1:
So, I got a chance to get to talk to, you know, travel and make some money and then people were giving me, uh, when they found out what I was doing, they gave me names and numbers. Even the people that they knew, oh my God, what you’re doing is cool. We, you know, I was telling them, I’m bridging a gap between young people and wise elders and, and do you know any wise elders. And then people would say, oh, you know who you need to meet is, you know, max Cleland, he’s a Georgia Secretary of State and triple Amputee and a war hero and he’d be great. Or you can go to my cousin’s Bernie Marcus, the founder of Home Depot, you could, you could meet him, he’s really great. And my, my my my sister in law is Kathy thornton who’s a United States astronaut, the first woman in space and you should meet her. And so all of a sudden I got names and numbers of people plus I was cold calling people and and calling corporations and calling all types of folks and saying, can I take you out for coffee. And then lo and behold, I was interviewing some of the most extraordinary people on the planet and then was encouraged, what what what are you doing? And then, uh, realized that we were capturing the living oral history of extraordinary people. And then we were encouraged to get a video camera and document our travels and then we went across the country for four years, shot over 500 hours of footage interviewed over 200 of the most extraordinary people, from Billy Crystal to jerry Garcia to jimmy carter to Maya Angelou to on and on and on and met all these incredible people documented uh, their wisdom and expiry and then ended up making a feature film that we got a deal with Disney and then that movie, we sold our short, we made a short film first and we sold it at Sundance Film Festival and then our feature one South by Southwest and then off to the races. We went and we had a hit on our hands that were in theaters all across the country to sold out shows. Oh, you have it right there.

[00:19:50.66] spk_0:
So we’re

[00:19:51.37] spk_1:
really blessed.

[00:19:53.19] spk_0:
I, my DVD winner the audience award at the Atlanta Video Film and Video Festival 2001, winner of the most memorable film award, South by Southwest Film Festival 2003. You gotta get your, you gotta get your copy of the DVD. I’m holding it up for, we’re only folks are only hearing us, but I’m holding up my copy for, for eric The journey, The film is the

[00:22:49.57] spk_1:
journey, the journey film. Yeah, you can, you can, you can get access to that at Living Wonder dot com or eric Sapperstein dot com. Yeah. The movie, it turned out that, you know, it was in Barnes and nobles and Hollywood video and uh, netflix and all that. And it really, it’s impacted people all all around the world and it’s, it’s been a real blessing. There was a little bubble gum and shoestring operation. Uh you know the little book, the little engine that could I think I can I think I can. I think our movie was like that and then it ended up really um inspiring and and impacting a lot of people and why I brought up the movie in the first place was that you were sharing with me, how you shared um wake up excited and go to bed with these really incredible clients of yours and the impact it had. And I was saying that that phrase came organically uh to me, I was I had done this travel. I we I picked up three other travelers and we went around the country interviewing people and it’s the story of our own dynamic and what it was like following a dream and and and being on this adventure and meeting all these iconic people. And then there was a moment where I was in a we were camping in the snow up in Oregon and I just looked at the camera, Kathleen, our cinematographer puts the camera on me and it’s towards the end of our journey before we went home to even watch footage and figure out how to make it into a movie. This was well before that there was just while we were still on the road and Kathleen put the camera in front of me and and started asking me, you know, things that I’ve learned from taking this adventure and I just looked at the camera and said, I just have one question to ask people and that is are you waking up excited and going to bed fulfilled if you are you’re doing the deal and if not what are you waiting for? And that became the last line of the movie. Uh and I’ve been living it ever since and asking people that question everywhere I go because the question is so powerful to me because it’s either one or the other. Somebody looks at that question and goes either I am waking up excited and going to bed fulfilled and that’s a celebratory life and other people ask themselves that question and they’re like dang it. I’m not and if you’re not, then it’s time to set a course to make that happen. Life is such an unpredictable thing we just learned from inside the pandemic and everyone, it’s our birthright. I believe it’s our birthright to wake up excited and go to bed fulfill.

[00:23:17.11] spk_0:
We have control over a lot of things in our life. The folks, we surround ourselves with the choices we make personally and professionally um are, are are thinking, you know, you you you captured with you know our language using empowering language but our thinking about ourselves or the way we talk about ourselves and you know, these are things that we all have control over and including those big decisions in life. You know, you you can make the life that that you aspire to, but you just have to be conscious in in, in lots of things.

[00:23:43.32] spk_1:
Yeah, I think being conscious is important. I mean conscious is a big word, a scary word of, you know, an out their word, but I think ultimately what it means is being present. Yeah,

[00:24:12.55] spk_0:
thoughtful about your, your decisions, your choices, your actions. Again, the folks you surround yourself with. I think, I think the folks you surround yourself with, you know, uh do you, do you, do you spend your time with folks who are, who lift you up, who challenge you, who you whose company you enjoy or is it more folks that you know, are troubled that bring you down that are, that are needy. Uh you know, maybe some folks in your life that you don’t have a choice about, but a lot of choice, a lot of folks in your life you do have a choice

[00:24:18.76] spk_1:
about

[00:24:19.83] spk_0:
and I

[00:24:21.63] spk_1:
think strongly

[00:24:22.29] spk_0:
about the people you surround yourself with and spend

[00:24:38.30] spk_1:
time, I agree with you. I think the principal, the principal there is like attracts like, so uh let’s say I’m a cynical, jaded, frustrated person and, and and of course I’m thinking, you know, I need to hang out with more uplifting, powerful, inspiring people. But the uplifting, inspiring, powerful people aren’t gonna wanna hang out with you

[00:24:48.45] spk_0:
because

[00:25:58.26] spk_1:
you’re that person is taking energy instead of contributing energy. So it really comes down to who were being in the world and to to step up our game. I mean, both personally and professionally, I think one of the things that I’m doing now as as you know, as a coach, we specialize in coaching executives to achieve meaningful impact and amplify their personal and professional narratives and to amplify our narratives. That’s what we’re talking about here is amplifying the the higher our narrative can go up, the more joyous and fulfilled our lives are people are people are it’s amazing to me, it’s just incredible. Even top executives are using language that’s off putting, you know, in our world right now, in corporate America, we’ve become a culture that’s talking about inclusion, empathy, belonging, psychological safety, organizational health, all these things are important to create a very powerful culture and most organizations and their executives are using language that is outdated, They’re using language that’s Disempowering. They’re using language that’s aggressive. They’re using language that actually makes people recoil and they’re good people. The people that I’m talking to are good people, they’ve got great ideas and a powerful vision and they want to do good in the world yet, the language they’re using is actually sending people further away and if we start

[00:26:20.02] spk_0:
like what eric give us an example or two of of this Disempowering type language

[00:26:38.23] spk_1:
great uh here’s here. We talk about distinctions a lot. One of the distinctions that we talk about that’s super powerful as a leader is our people talking from the eye versus the you.

[00:26:44.23] spk_0:
Mm

[00:26:46.05] spk_1:
Most people, what do you think I are? You

[00:26:50.56] spk_0:
what do most people do I’m

[00:27:05.20] spk_1:
talking about? So there’s a leader could be a leader. Leader. An organization gets up and starts talking to his people for her people about what’s going on in the organization. Is that leader using I language or you language?

[00:27:11.35] spk_0:
I think they’re probably using more I language. I would like to hear more. We language

[00:27:20.34] spk_1:
you can use we language that would be a nice evolution. Uh, I would say just from from our research and what we see is that

[00:27:29.17] spk_0:
you

[00:27:30.32] spk_1:
all, you

[00:27:31.41] spk_0:
you people

[00:27:34.38] spk_1:
are ewing all over each other,

[00:27:36.07] spk_0:
people, You

[00:28:15.24] spk_1:
know what you need to do. You need to follow this. You need to you need to you need to you need to you need to you need to, you need to And then even if it’s good, even if it’s well intended, they’re using the word you on people and people get frustrated. They get they get it, they feel attacked, they feel confronted, they feel like you’re judging them the word you is challenging. Way better for an executive to turn around and say, hey, this was my experience, this is what I need, this is what I would like to see happen. This is what I want and that way I get to tell my story and you get to be enrolled in my story, possibility in my story.

[00:28:17.25] spk_0:
What about inclusive we language we together

[00:28:25.26] spk_1:
even better. Even better. Even better.

[00:28:26.35] spk_0:
But it’s

[00:28:34.64] spk_1:
careful. We as a difficult one because we can be a crutch. People can use the word we when they really mean you and it’s different. All right. Get a little dangerous.

[00:28:38.26] spk_0:
Okay. You have to be sincere about doing things together. Moving ahead

[00:28:44.94] spk_1:
together

[00:28:45.67] spk_0:
together. Yeah, be sincere to be genuine about that. All right. Um, here’s

[00:29:44.39] spk_1:
another one. People say people say, you know, a lot people will be in a conversation to go. We learned we learned this the other day when we were, we were interviewing an I. T. Guy Yeah, to work with us and we took him to dinner and we had a piece of pizza and then he was sitting there. We just learned, we just, we just learned, you know, we were just thinking about this distinction came up with this distinction around I versus you. And then uh my my lady and I were at dinner with this guy and he starts telling this story to us. He’s like, hey, you know when you’re in Vegas and then you’re out partying all night and then, you know, you drink too much and then you pass out and then you find yourself in a hotel room with a black eye and there’s two dudes there that you don’t know and then your wallet’s gone. You know what I’m talking about and Sarah and I are.

[00:29:45.84] spk_0:
So we we

[00:29:47.38] spk_1:
we we actually we actually don’t know what you’re talking

[00:29:56.22] spk_0:
about. I can’t say I’ve had that experience to know it happened in Seattle once but never in Las Vegas,

[00:30:34.98] spk_1:
right? Not for Las Vegas only in Seattle. But what what happens in Seattle stays in Seattle so we don’t talk about but you get what I’m saying. So that’s just one example. But there’s so many examples around and also just you know, another one is that executives and in all of our lives, most people are talking about what they don’t want to have happen. We spend an awful lot of time talking about what we don’t want. I don’t want us to screw up. I don’t want us to miss the deadline, I don’t want us to do. And most people are always talking about what they don’t want. And to me that’s language in the off position. Talking about what you don’t want. Powerful inspired conscious leaders are talking about what they want. They’re actually speaking their possibility into the world. They’re inviting people to go where they want to. But that’s what a leader is is to lead us towards where we want to go together instead of talking about what we don’t want. Most people are talking about what we don’t want. We’re coaching executives to talk about what they do want

[00:31:20.53] spk_0:
10 years ago I I asked you what what it was that what was the number one thing that distinguished those who are successful from those who were not successful and I’m gonna ask the same thing, not as a quiz, but I’m just curious if if over time this this may have evolved because you’ve done hundreds of interviews since we talked 10 years ago um what what do you think is the number one thing that uh distinguishes those who are successful from those who are who are not,

[00:33:02.23] spk_1:
I’m remembering our conversation from 10 years ago. Uh I’m remembering that question and I’m remembering the answer that I gave them so I’ll give the answer I gave them and then see if a new one pops up now. But the answer I gave up then was when you asked me what separates those who achieve from those who do not. My answer back then was based on an interview that I had with the president of coca cola Donald Keogh who was arguably the most successful uh Ceo in the world with one of the most recognizable brands in the world. And I asked him that question and I said you know, Mr Keogh what separates those who achieve from those who do not? And like many of the guests, he looked at me and said well eric what do you think it is before, before he’d answer he’d asked me and then I’m thinking well it’s having a vision uh finishing what you start having good communication skills rattled off a few answers and he goes oh those are all part of the soup that you know makes it all possible but what I think and then again just the most powerful recognizable uh ceo of in the world at that time one of them looked at me and he said eric what separates those who achieve from those who do not is in direct proportion to one’s ability to ask others for help. We think asking for help is a sign of weakness and it’s actually a sign of strength and that our vulnerability and willingness to learn and enroll people into a vision is what makes visions come true.

[00:34:39.04] spk_0:
It’s time for a break. Fourth dimension technologies I. T. Infra in a box. It’s the I. T. Buffet. You remember this, you choose what you need, what fits in your budget and you leave the rest on the buffet line, in the crushed ice like multi factor authentication, firewall, additional security beyond the firewall help desk an I. T. Assessment with their I. T. Info in a box. You choose what’s appropriate for your org. The info is on the listener landing page at tony-dot-M.A.-slash-Pursuant to mention deeper. Let’s return to wake up excited. Go to bed fulfilled. That is what you said 10 years ago I’ve remembered it, I’ve used it from time to time and you brought vulnerability into I I absolutely agree that vulnerability in a leader is a sign of strength, a sign of confidence that they’re willing to expose themselves and perhaps their organization’s vulnerability to others, rather than wrapping up tight and appearing invincible and all knowing, which is which is an uh an unachievable state. Um so has it has it evolved you do you feel now that was Mr Keough’s answer and you adopted it? Do you think it’s it’s changed you do you personally see something different through all the through all these through this decade? Since

[00:35:02.88] spk_1:
you know, I think now what I think, I think that is, no doubt, I think you just said some really great things that want me asking for help is great. I think vulnerability. I think we wanna we wanna follow people who are accessible, approachable that they’re that I I can relate to them.

[00:35:23.74] spk_0:
I think that yeah

[00:36:28.08] spk_1:
and and yeah, I was I was with somebody yesterday who was talking about his executive teams and he’s like man, I love those people, I would do anything for him. I wanna, you know, and it was that and I know why they want to do that is because the people there are right there with them. They’re not better than they’re willing to do the work. They’re willing to get dirty with them. They’re willing to admit their own foibles and their own mistakes and they’re willing to and I think creating a culture of vulnerability like that breeds more vulnerability, it inspires more vulnerability and it creates community. Um I think my answer now uh what separates, those who achieve from those who do not now are leaders that genuinely care about the people they’re serving? Make really care, care about your health, your vitality, your wellness, your happiness. Uh and really yeah, are willing to listen. I guess that would be that, I guess that that’s my answer. People, what separates those who achieve from those who do not is one’s ability to listen well

[00:37:06.82] spk_0:
and then you’ll hear people’s uh you’re you’re here, you’re here, you’ll hear other people’s vulnerabilities, other people’s needs. And I think the genuine excelling leader, can I want to say something strong that accommodate can can support those, support those needs here. Those vulnerabilities work with them, help people uh excel in their strengths and build up their build up their weaknesses, their weak areas. And

[00:39:07.04] spk_1:
and as a guy who studies communication, I think there’s three things that want to happen in every communication exchange with someone that people want to be number one, they want to be seen two, they want to be heard and three they want to be appreciated. And if we can do those three things in any communication exchange, we’re winning. And I think being a good listener enables that to happen, I get a chance to really see somebody and we talked about being present, and that’s a big one just being able to be with people be with people wherever they are looking in the eyes, being able to have empathy and compassion and and understanding and really hear people hear people’s stories even the ones that are different than yours even with people that that you disagree with, can you still listen and hear them and let them so be able to be seen So you get a chance to really listen and hear them heard. You get to really take in what they’re saying. Even if you don’t agree, even if you don’t think it’s the right path, even if you’re not into it but still give people dignity and respect for sharing and then appreciate them, value them, understand them, be grateful for them. And then even if it’s like as a leader people come and tell me, oh you know here’s a great idea then you know, it may not be the idea that I think is the right time at this moment and here’s another you know, great distinction that people are using right about communication distinctions around language, most people use the word. But a lot if you go and study people right now a lot of people are using the word but and they’re using the word but all the time even when they’re comparing two ideas they actually believe in. And so for me, most people that are leading right now when I talk about language being off putting some leaders gonna hear somebody’s great idea that they think is awesome and they’re gonna go yeah, yeah, yeah. But and then they’re gonna pivot all that does is diminish what that person just said, shut them down and make it feel like they’re not as important. And now let me tell you what I think is important. The whole idea of improvisational comedy. It’s based on the principle yes and

[00:39:20.78] spk_0:
yes

[00:40:30.80] spk_1:
and way better than no, but most people out there are no buts if you’re a nobody and you’re listening to this right now, I invite you to give up No, but and start becoming a yes and it doesn’t cost you anything and it’s more inclusive. It’s more honoring and it builds community. No, but just does the opposite. So if I listen to somebody pitched an idea to me, that’s not really what I think is the right time for me. I’m gonna be like, wow, that’s fascinating. And and then I’m gonna pivot versus no. But let me tell you what my ideas and and you talked about humility. We talked about vulnerability. Another thing of humility, right? That goes with asking for help. But it’s also just willingness to, to not always have all the answers. We don’t have to pretend that we have all the answers. And so for us, uh being humble, somebody pitches me an idea and I don’t think it’s a great idea at the time that they pitch it. But two weeks from now their idea could come into full focus and it was a great idea. One of my guiding principles. I like to play with is uh I like to remind myself this phrase could be good, could be bad too early to tell.

[00:40:35.94] spk_0:
It’s it’s open minded, you know, it’s, it’s, it’s possibility

[00:40:39.65] spk_1:
related.

[00:40:46.82] spk_0:
There’s something that could be, it could be fantastic, but you know, we just don’t know yet. I

[00:40:47.21] spk_1:
dare say Living in Wonder,

[00:41:24.10] spk_0:
let’s talk about what a beautiful I want to talk about the book. Live in wonder. Quests quotes and questions to jump start your journey first. Just reading the title, I happen to love alliteration. Uh this show I have Tony’s take to uh if you get jargon e we have jargon jail. I love alliteration. You’re not, you’re not a jargon. I’m not worried about that at all for you. But I do put folks occasionally in jargon jail. I love alliteration. So, quest quotes and questions to jump start your journey. That’s a great subtitle of the book for me. Um live in wonder what, what I know the book is available at eric Sapperstein dot com. But what are gonna be? What are people gonna learn about, livin wonder these handwritten pages, What are we gonna get?

[00:42:32.94] spk_1:
Uh thank you so much. You put people in jargon jail. I’ve been really blessed my neighbors, Woody Harrelson and we spend a lot of time doing all kinds of fun shenanigans and he’s one of the funniest and smartest people I know and he’s an incredible storyteller and a phenomenal joke teller and it’s a privilege to be around him and our friends and they’re always cracking jokes and telling great stories and it’s, it’s, it it’s almost nerve wracking to be around such high quality, um, uh, presenters and performers. The image I have is when I was, you know, jumping, jumping rope, there’s like, you know that rhythm, there’s a rope and everyone’s talking and sharing a joke and then, and then it’s going and then all of a sudden, you know, I want to tell a joke and then kind of jump in and if I tell a good joke, you know, the ropes still going and you know, and I didn’t miss a beat. Other times you jump in and all of a sudden joke doesn’t really go well and then everyone kind of just like, you know, it’s so, it’s so loud in a room like that because everyone is so good at telling jokes. So it’s just like, and then all of a sudden you put people in jargon jail, would he likes to put people in joke probation. All of a sudden he looks and I get there, it’s like eric joke probation and all of a sudden I’m, you know, I get joke probation a lot.

[00:43:00.55] spk_0:
Yeah,

[00:43:13.04] spk_1:
sometimes, you know, it’s, it’s, it’s it’s a high risk game, but you know, for the times, you know, it’s like being a professional baseball player, you strike out a lot, but every once in a while, you know, you hit the ball and people, people invite you back to dinner, you

[00:43:13.77] spk_0:
can offer woody joke jail.

[00:51:26.51] spk_1:
Well I thought, you know, my favorite thing is to put him, he’s so good at it. And every once in a while he flubs and I get to all of a sudden go, oh joke probation for you. And uh, it’s, it’s really fun. It’s uh, one of the things that, one of the principles that, that I’ve really come to live by is a rising tide lifts all boats and being around, you know, I live on a farm now, uh, with uh, a bunch of people that, that live on the farm, we have 280 acres out here and it’s just extraordinary. I do. And, and, and just being in community has taught me so much. I, I grew up in a condo in san Diego and and moved to Atlanta and I’ve lived in venice beach California and I’ve, I’ve been relatively isolated even though I’ve been, you know, popular created things. I’ve lived in big cities where you know, I might know a neighbor or two, but for the most part, I’ve, I’ve, you know, been been more independent now. I live in a place where I am with people and that has been another big growth for me is 2-1 live where we’re planting food uh, in feeding people and eating food from the land and learning about sustainability and regeneration and soil and uh some really healthy practices and what it’s like to, to be in community and and how communities as well as organizations and not for profits and families thrive is by contribution. We become a society of consumers. Most people like to take, you know, what’s in it for me. And really thriving communities, thriving organizations, thriving families are, are, are shifting that they’re upping the language and elevating the story to instead of what’s in it for me, they’re asking themselves, hey, how can I contribute? How can I make this better? What can I do to provide value? And that has been a secret sauce for sure. To answer your question about the book live and wonder, uh, that came, that came to me because of my travels. I was um, I didn’t have it early on when you met me. I was really um, coming off of meeting all these extraordinary people and getting invited to give speeches for Nike and coke and general mills and ups and ADP and United Way and all these. And I was doing opening and closing keynotes in front of, you know, big audiences and I was, I think one of my, my talents is that, you know, I can look at everyone that I’ve interviewed and I can tell you at least one, probably two or three lessons that that person taught me and I could go give a speech and I can interview the executives of a company, find out what values are important to them going in my arsenal of stories of people who have met and then shuffle the deck, pull out a picture of this person and a picture of this person and a picture of this person and then that’s my speech. I can share these really great stories that will relate to the organizational culture and inspire them to even do better when I would be done with these speeches. Uh, you know, the audience would be really gracious and um, they would, they would engage in questions with me and they would, you know, ask me different things about the movie or what I shared about what not. And every once in awhile there’d be somebody who would raise their hand and and say, hey eric, you know, I really get that you’re, you know, you did this cool thing, you met all these cool people and you’re able to share all these great stories and lessons from leadership lessons and communication distinctions from all these wise people that you’ve met and you’re doing a great job of it And I loved it and I’m just curious, you got to go on this adventure and you did something that most people never get to do and you got access to all these big brains, uh, an extraordinary people. What did you deduce that was, that was the commonality. I, I know that you can tell me a story about jimmy carter when you met Spike lee or whoever it is, but I want to know what, what did you learn and for years I would be up there going, you know what, I don’t know that I have that answers yet. And it was a little awkward because I wanted to have an answer, but I didn’t have it. And it took about six or seven years after the journey. There’s a great, there’s a great line by Khalil, the poet, Khalil Gibran, who said as the mountain to the climber is clearest from the plane, as the mountain to the climber is clearest from the plane. What that means to me is that when I was on the mountain traveling, all I could see was what was in front of me. And I only had the perspective of what was in my immediate surroundings and things became clear when I got to leave the mountain and be on the plane and look back up and see where I traveled. And I think that’s for all of us, we get a chance to, you know, in the moment, we can only do the best we can in the moment. A lot of wisdom, A lot of clarity, A lot of understanding comes after the experience is over then we get a chance to kind of look back at where we traveled. Then that’s where we get to deduce some really great takeaways. And so for me it took a while, it took me six years of being on the plane, look back at the mountain and then all of a sudden I was on a surf trip to Costa rica and I had an epiphany and the epiphany was that the thing, the greatest commonality, the greatest, aha. The thing that all these extraordinary people, whether they were a world renowned architect, a world renowned horse trainer, they were a president of the United States, they were a ceo that took an idea from a garage to being super successful. The common out or a rock star, all the commonalities that these folks had in common. The number one thing is that they still were excited and open and willing and innovative and exploratory about life. They were just willing to like they, they showed up in a meeting and they’re like, I don’t know, let’s try that, Let’s figure this out. What do you think? And it was just, it was this big light bulb that went on going, wow, there is this idea that we were all born with a sense of wonder. It’s the thing that is our life force. People who live and wonder have their light turned on and it’s bright and we like to be around those people, it’s contagious, it’s uplifting. It’s inspiring to be around people that are still learning and growing and then there’s a whole bunch of other people who are like, know it alls and let me tell you how that’s not gonna work and you know, that’s never gonna happen and blah blah blah and they’re talking even that what I’m saying, the example I just gave those are people talking about what they don’t want, it’s never gonna happen. It’s not gonna work. Those are people talking about what they don’t want. It’s the negative part versus talking about, hey, I’m not, I’m not coming from some fairy dust land, making anything, making a movie, writing a book, doing a speech. It takes work. And it’s not like I just get to go poof just because I’m using inspiring language, things happen, man, it’s still hard. I get to go into a meeting instead of going, this isn’t gonna work. I can go into a meeting and say, hey, you guys are all very smart, can you all look at this idea and share with me anything that you think might be in the way of our success and then we get to explore those things that might be in the ways that we can turn those into the on position. But instead of going, oh, that’s not gonna work. And let me tell you why it’s not gonna work or people that go into a meeting and say, you know what, yeah, you know what the problem is, I don’t care about what the problem is, I want to know what the solution is and let’s figure it out and then maybe we won’t even, maybe not even work, but at least we’re focused on the solution. And then if we discover it’s not it it’ll reveal something else that will take us on another adventure that will bring us closer to the thing we want. Anyway, so this whole idea about wonder is that the people who are waking up excited and going to bed fulfilled are people who are living in wonder. And wonder. The thing about wonder is that it’s not something that needs to be taught. It just needs to be remembered.

[00:51:29.57] spk_0:
We

[00:52:03.96] spk_1:
just have to get quiet enough to remember what it was like when the world didn’t take away our joy. We got to reclaim our power instead of, you know, all the cynics and all the people that said, you couldn’t do it for all the people that were mean spirited and all the people that hurt our feelings. Just be able to go, okay, well I’m not gonna let you win. I’m going to reclaim that sense of wonder. I’m gonna go back out in nature and I’m gonna sit and look at the sunset or I’m gonna go look at the birds or I’m gonna go look at a stream going by and remember how magnificent this place is. I’m gonna stand up. I’m gonna just right now, I’m gonna stand up and put my arms up in the air and lean back a little bit and go woo and remember that I’m floating on a ball that’s rotating through space. Right now.

[00:52:17.40] spk_0:
We are

[00:52:18.13] spk_1:
sitting on a ball rotating through space and we’re, it’s incredible. Or that even right now, you and I are talking through zoom technology. This is crazy. I can see you, you can see me, you’re in, you’re in the Carolinas. I’m in Maui hawaii and we’re having this conversation. This is incredible.

[00:52:35.44] spk_0:
I like to think

[00:52:36.15] spk_1:
about, man. I, I send a piece of mail to somebody and all of a sudden within a couple of days or weeks it arrives somewhere. That’s incredible

[00:52:46.16] spk_0:
to get on a

[00:52:46.60] spk_1:
plane and space for

[00:54:21.28] spk_0:
55 cents for 55 cents. That piece of mail. It’s time for Tony’s take two, 18 reasons why bequests are the place to launch your planned giving program. It’s on the blog at planned giving accelerator dot com. Uh, give you a couple of them. There are 18 of them in the article. Like the one that says, bequests are the most popular big planned gift by far, um, that you don’t have to educate your donors, that you don’t have to educate your staff. That these gifts by will charitable bequests will build your endowment. So there’s five of the 18, 5, 5/18, whatever that fraction. You can’t reduce that fraction down, but 5/18. All right. You think I would give you an even third, right? Your listeners, you deserve, you deserve 33%. So let’s go with number six out of 18 deeper donor relationships. There’s a third of them. That third and the other two thirds you will find on the blog uh planned giving accelerator dot com. You click blog. That’s how you get to the blog. Of course. So I hope you check that out for the 18 reasons. And that is Tony’s take two. We’ve got boo koo, even more than boo koo this week, but loads more time for wake up, excited. Go to bed fulfilled with eric Sapper stone.

[00:57:00.94] spk_1:
I think one of the things about wonder a close if you want to get access to wonder in your life, really start pushing and leaning in, not pushing, but leaning into more gratitude. Being grateful, Being grateful for being grateful for all. Being grateful for technology, being grateful for your friends, being grateful for your wife, being grateful for your husband. Being grateful for your employment, Being grateful to be of service, Being grateful that you have all four arms and legs that you can use. Be grateful for your ability to communicate, Be grateful, be grateful for it. All gratitude brings direct access to a sense of wonder. A sense of a sense of marvel. A sense of astonishment. So you ask what the what the book will do. So the book came out of this epiphany of going, okay. I just realized that the people that are extraordinary in this world have maintained, celebrated and share their sense of wonder with each with each other in the world and that’s powerful. And then I realized, oh my gosh, I now have a responsibility. I just I went on this quest, I went on this adventure, I went to the top of the hill, I figured out this idea of, wow Wonder is something I went and checked in. I went back and interviewed my guests and checked in because I didn’t, if I go back through all the transcripts, there wasn’t wonder really talked about one, because I didn’t have that in my lexicon to even talk about it and to and this is the real fascinating part is that the people that I were, the people that I was interviewing, they didn’t bring up wonder because it wasn’t a success strategy, it was who they were being. Mhm. They weren’t using wonder as a way to be successful, they were just being wondrous. That’s just innately who they were. And it was just how they rolled through the world. And then I got to go back and check and I remember talking to um steven Tyler from, you know, the band Aerosmith and I, and I leaned into his ear and I and I said, you know, uh you know, I’m just curious, you know, I’m exploring the idea the idea of the important role wonder plays in all of our lives and he looked around and and just looked back at me and uh with sparkly highs and just said, oh I could write a whole book about that and it is true. And I went and talked to all these incredible people and they said, oh my gosh, you’re right. Eric wonder has been a major part of who I am in the world. I thank you because I didn’t even think about that as part of my thing. It’s just who I am being and my invitation is definitely to, to to to to reclaim your sense of wonder so that you can attract more wondrous people in your life.

[00:57:50.05] spk_0:
I’d like to give you a chance to drop some more names so that folks have an even wider, you’ve already talked about jerry, Garcia and steven Tyler and jimmy carter uh and Henry Winkler. Uh I’d like folks to get a sense of, you know, your of your the breath of your, breath, of your your your interviews, your your folks that you’ve we’ve tapped the minds of

[00:58:08.64] spk_1:
uh let’s see, I just interviewed Daniel Pink, who was an amazing author, he was a speechwriter for Al Gore with left Politics and then started writing really incredible books. He wrote a book called dr he’s got a new book out um around regret. He’s very powerful. Just interviewed him. Just interviewed Pat Simmons from, from the band, the Doobie Brothers. That was great. He’s the guy that wrote, oh Black Water, keep on,

[00:58:24.11] spk_0:
keep on shining on black, Okay,

[00:58:27.66] spk_1:
yes, drop a

[00:58:28.85] spk_0:
couple more drop a couple more.

[00:58:55.48] spk_1:
I well, I just I just interviewed him, just so you know, I just interviewed him. He was just inducted into the Music Hall of Fame. They were just on their 50th anniversary tour. And uh and I asked Pat Simmons, I said uh what are three things you’ve learned about songwriting? And Pat said three things I’ve learned about songwriting, Number one, uh keep it simple, Number two, uh write about what, you know, your own experience, basically. And number three, don’t bore us get to the chorus.

[00:59:06.61] spk_0:
Mhm,

[00:59:09.42] spk_1:
brilliant. Okay, who else? Who else have I interviewed?

[00:59:13.57] spk_0:
Uh

[00:59:31.87] spk_1:
we interviewed, just interviewed Diana Nyad, who’s a world record swimmer. She’s incredible. Um And let’s see, I’ve interviewed the founder of the Ritz Carlton. I’ve interviewed the chairman of UPS. I’ve interviewed um oh yeah, how

[00:59:40.99] spk_0:
about going back, going back to uh your your your four years in the van comes to mind there. I know jimmy carter was part of that, part of that cadre,

[01:03:03.23] spk_1:
jimmy, jimmy carter was incredible. I interviewed uh back then Governor Ann Richards, who was incredible from texas. I interviewed ken Keesey, who wrote one flew over the cuckoo’s nest and merry prankster. I interviewed Billy frank Jr, the head of the indian Fisheries Commission. I interviewed hazel Wolf, who was a 98 year old environmental activist poet, Maya Angelou. Um yeah, that’s a pretty good. It’s been incredible. I’ve interviewed so many people and and those are all iconic names, you know? But I’ve also interviewed farmers and I’ve interviewed teachers and I’ve interviewed a lot of people that you’ve never heard of. Um and uh yeah, and and I and I also interviewed, you know, thousands of young people when I was on my journey. The whole premise of the journey film was to bridge a gap between young people and elders. So I interviewed all kinds of young people from all you know, every area of life and would would interview them and ask them what they were struggling with and then figure out, you know, what that was. And then I’d go to the top of the food chain and go, hey, my this is something my friends are struggling with. Do you have an answer for that? And that’s how we bridge the gap between those that want to learn and those that want to teach. I don’t think I fully answered your question about the book. You know, you’re you’re saying what what what does the reader get from the living Wonder book? You know, what the what the reader gets one the epiphany of of living Wonder that that was that that was the origins of why I felt inspired to write the book. And then the book is about the reader and you know, less about me, more about the other as one of my principles and it was the books less about me more about the other, more about the reader. I tell you a little bit about my story in the beginning. Uh it’s quest quotes and questions to jump start your journey. The quest part of the living wonder book is I realized that I could write I can write a book about my story in my life and all that I learned and that’s cool or I can write a book that is less about me more about the other. And it gives people who read the book a chance to take their own journey. And that was more compelling to me. Instead of me writing and telling you about my journey, I wanted to inspire people to take their own journey. And so the book, the opening part of the quest is for anyone that’s reading the book to pick five people in their life That are people that they respect and admire and are looking at that person’s life going man, I want more of that you know and and it could be anything, it could be, I just got married and I’m newly wed and you know bill and Nancy Schmidt down the road have been married for 60 years and they’re cute as a button and I want somebody to write that person’s name down and then go interview that person. Have you and your couple go interview that wise person to find out the values they live by the struggles they’ve endured and what advice and counsel they give you to better prepare yourself to model their behavior if you want to become a ceo go interview Five C. E. O. S. And I wouldn’t just go interview anybody. I’d go interview really successful. Happy uplifting whatever it is that you want to emulate and go talk to them if you want to build a boat go talk to boat builders whatever it is, still pick five people in your life that you admire and respect that you want more of. And instead of sitting back coming up with you know I can’t do it. I don’t know how to do it. I don’t have the credentials I’m not sure blah blah blah blah. Be more empowered and go look this is what I

[01:03:20.92] spk_0:
want. I’m

[01:04:33.03] spk_1:
not sure how to get there. I’ve never done it before. Okay I’m gonna go look in my world whether it could be your neighbor or somebody famous doesn’t matter to me. Pick five people in your life that you want more of that in your world and have the courage to ask him out for a cup of coffee and learn. And so that’s the first part is that everyone gets a chance to pick people in life that they admire. That’s the quest. The quotes are all these quotes that I’ve used to keep my own heart and mind open. So so I shared those quotes. They’re really inspiring and uplifting to people and then the third part is the questions and they’re all they’re all the questions that I used to interview my guests? So you can use those same questions to interview somebody or you can come up with your own people use the book to actually go do all kinds of amazing things that we’ve gotten stories from all around the world where people actually go take the book, they pick somebody, they say I just got this book, they go interview that person and their life changes. It’s been phenomenal and it’s been uh it’s been a really a pleasure to have written a book that has impacted so many people. So I if it’s something that’s, that’s calling to anybody that’s listening, it’s it’s a yeah, it’s it’s it’s it’s based similar to my movie. It’s based on the principle to know the Road ahead. Ask those coming back then anything you want to learn about, anything is an inspired conversation and a cup of coffee away

[01:04:59.93] spk_0:
and it’s it’s jump start your journey. I mean, you had the journey, you had the journey of the film, you had your journey, its quest quotes and questions to jump start your journey. Could you, could you share one of

[01:05:06.56] spk_1:
your, that’s me, that’s me using that, that’s me using your in a good way. I hope your

[01:05:09.02] spk_0:
journey. What’s what’s one of your quotes? You you have a bunch of, you said you have a number of quotes that you live by. Can you share one of your quotes with us?

[01:05:22.40] spk_1:
Uh You want you want a personal quote that I’ve written or a quote from the book. Which one are you asking?

[01:05:27.75] spk_0:
Oh well, I was looking for one from the book.

[01:05:30.96] spk_1:
Those

[01:05:31.74] spk_0:
are personal. Those are personal quotes though, aren’t they in the book?

[01:05:34.74] spk_1:
No, those are quotes from people

[01:05:36.98] spk_0:
from other people that you’ve you’ve used. Okay, uh Can you share I want I want folks to be inspired about the book, share a quote. Can you share a quote from the book?

[01:05:47.45] spk_1:
I can hear. Let me uh

[01:06:00.66] spk_0:
Okay, well while you do that, because I put you on the spot now, you gotta go actually, he’s going to his book. What what better source for quotes from the book than than the book. And uh we go ahead.

[01:06:21.97] spk_1:
Yeah, I’m thinking about which uh I think this is this is my favorite. I think this has to do with uh one of the things that I learned on the journey is

[01:06:25.05] spk_0:
how

[01:09:11.47] spk_1:
important it is to be yourself. And that most people uh that’s that’s a challenge. Most most people are so highly influenced by other people’s impression of who they are, that they would sell out their sense of wonder, their authenticity, their sense of adventure, all kinds of things to conform uh to what other people think and the people who get up excited. Go to bed fulfilled. Live extraordinary lives are more committed to their principles. They’re more committed to their values. They’re more committed to who they are and what they say they’re going to do in this world and they can’t please everybody. It’s one of the common things that there’s no doubt you cannot please everybody. And when I set off to travel the country in my van selling grilled cheese sandwiches and asking that I was gonna call up people and take them out for coffee for a long time. I had to be ostracized and judged and uh ridiculed and had to endure people’s uh projection onto me. It wasn’t, doesn’t feel good, it doesn’t feel good to be to have that happen. And if I allowed myself esteemed to be contingent upon what other people thought of me, I’m done. And so, having the courage to speak, my possibility into the world is something that I invite everybody to have. It’s it’s to be able to just be you unapologetically and to trust the process being you. And this is one of my favorite, this is how we opened the book. Um there’s an author, super uber successful author, Dr Wayne dyer, who, that was another one of my interviews. Uh I came out to visit him. He lived here in Maui and uh, I came out to visit him and then I ended up staying uh and moving from venice beach to Maui after that visit. But he’s extraordinary. He passed away, but he was extraordinary. And he said this about Oprah Winfrey and this is how I open up the living wonder book. Uh many years ago, Oprah Winfrey was interviewed about her life many years ago, Oprah Winfrey was interviewed about her life and asked whether she had known that she would become one of the most powerful women in the world. She explained to the reporter that when she was a little girl, someone asked her what she wanted to do with her life. She answered by saying that she didn’t know, she just liked talking to people. The person quickly retorted, well, you can’t make a living doing that.

[01:09:40.75] spk_0:
We can learn a lot from the negative, the negative, the down the deputy downers uh, around us and to uh ignore them and and move ahead with our own journeys. Uh you know, you you seem to like three’s what what is this series? Three things.

[01:11:12.59] spk_1:
Three things, you know, after somebody who has interviewed people for the majority of my my life and certainly my my career and had made a movie, you know, I would interview people and spend days interviewing them and then have to go back and watch all that footage. I was looking for a way to to capture the living oral history of extraordinary people and do it in a succinct and refreshing way. And what we came up with was This idea of three things and I didn’t realize that at the time it was really, again, a real, just organic unfolding. I’m a storyteller and I study stories and I asked people to share their stories and I think about the basic tenants of storytelling, the basic tenants of storytelling is a set up, a conflict resolution, a beginning, a middle and an end. And if we adhere to that structure, we’re telling a good story and knowing that I thought, well why don’t I help that along? I’ll ask people to share with me a three things question so that they frame it with, here’s number one, here’s number two, and here’s number three. And it turns out that that is a magical formula that we are able to tap into some of the most iconic minds and ask them what their three things are and they nail it out of the park and they share three incredible insightful messages and they’re sticky and they’re powerful and they’re

[01:11:34.19] spk_0:
uplifting

[01:11:59.89] spk_1:
and that’s what we’ve created. So we’ve created a new series called Three things uh, with eric’s Apperson and I’m interviewing iconic legends and uh, we’re, we’re capturing that now and we’re cataloging a whole bunch of those. And I think we’re gonna begin releasing those, uh, in early 2023. So many folks are uh, uh, you know what, right now, we’re in negotiations with a few folks uh, with some agents and managers to figure out the the outlet of where it’s going to ultimately be, what I’d like to do is if anybody has been inspired by what’s happening today in our chat and we want to be connected to the three things series to come to eric Sapper Stone dot com and sign up for our newsletter. Our fans will get it first.

[01:12:27.88] spk_0:
Okay, okay. And the reason I say you, you seem to like three things threes because you have the series, three things I asked you had to live in one house, you have to wake up excited and go to bed fulfilled. And you cited three things, you have a game called, Three things

[01:12:42.86] spk_1:
you

[01:12:53.05] spk_0:
want, you want, you want to tease the game, This is all at uh eric Sapperstein dot com or, and, or Live in Wonder dot com. But I, I connected connected to the game from this Eric Sapperstein site, but I think it goes over to living wonder but a game called three things and then, and then we’ll wrap it up. What’s the three things

[01:13:22.96] spk_1:
That you’ve been so sweet? I’m so, I’m so grateful to be asked to be on the podcast with you. I’m grateful for our friendship. I’m grateful that we got a chance to meet 10 years ago and that we get to still be in relationship and check in with each other now and you know, thank you for including me into your world and uh, one of my favorite sayings is when you drink the water. Uh, remember who dug the well, so thank you for digging such a huge well and being of service to so many organizations. Uh, tony You’re, you’re, you’re a bright light in this world.

[01:14:26.68] spk_0:
That’s very thoughtful. Thank you. And uh, to give you back some of a phrase that you used, I think you are contagious, uplifting and inspiring is Erik Sabiston. Alright, so you can learn about the series. Three things for that. You go to ERic Sapperstein dot com. Uh, the book Live in Wonder quests, quotes and questions to jump start your journey. Also, ERic Sapperstein dot com for the game. Three things I believe that’s at Living Wonder dot com, but you can get to one from the other, uh, the movie, the journey. That’s at eric Sapperstein dot com. I believe you gotta get the DVD the journey. So, eric what a pleasure to be connected for all these years and to uh, Have another and even much longer conversation than than our 10 or 12 minutes we did in uh, in 2012 is a real joy. Real pleasure. Thank you so much. Thank you. Thank you for what you’re doing. Thank you for sharing yourself your ideas. Thank you.

[01:14:42.03] spk_1:
Thank you. Thank you. Um, uh, let’s not wait another 10 years for us to connect.

[01:14:47.88] spk_0:
No, well not you’ll, you’ll be on, you’ll I’ll have you back because I think people are gonna enjoy hearing from you.

[01:15:33.22] spk_1:
Well what if you know if anybody out there, anybody that’s been listening. Thank you so much. Thank you for the role you play uh in the nonprofit world, I think you are champions uh and uh light workers and uh change agents. And I just I I applaud all y’all just thank you for for for contributing and and making the world a better place. And if there’s anything I can ever do, whether it be uh coaching uh you or coaching your executives or giving a virtual talk or a a talk in person to your organization, uh please call on me and I’d love to help and be a part of your journey.

[01:15:46.44] spk_0:
Erik Sabiston at Erik Sabiston and eric Sapperstein dot com next

[01:15:46.85] spk_1:
week.

[01:16:44.06] spk_0:
I’m working on it. I promise I won’t let you down if you missed any part of this week’s show, I beseech you find it at tony-martignetti dot com. We’re sponsored by turn to communications pr and content for nonprofits. Your story is their mission turn hyphen two dot c o. And by fourth dimension technologies I. T. Infra in a box, the affordable tech solution for nonprofits. tony-dot-M.A.-slash-Pursuant four D. Just like three D. But you know, they go one dimension deeper. Our creative producer is claire Meyerhoff shows social media is by Susan Chavez. Mark Silverman is our web guy and this great music is by scott stein, Thank you for that. Affirmation Scotty B with me next week for nonprofit radio big nonprofit ideas for the other 95 go out and be great